Faggatron
“There's so much more then just meat in the eyes”
“What the hell did that mean?”
Faggatron is the little known gay brother of Optimus Prime who was outcast in secrecy to the rest of the known universe when the Prime family disowned him for coming out of the closet transformed as a gerbil and looking to park himself in Richard Simmons ass with gleam & excitement. The Prime family still to this day will not even acknowledge the name of there disowned sibling. Faggatron was outcast and sent to the WCW to play the role of Megatron. (A video Monitor, not to be confused with the evil leader of the Decepticons with the same name)
Faggatron enjoyed the part of being the WCW's Megatron, and enjoyed projecting video footage for the stadium to see through the large LCD screen that he held up above the entrance way via the position it was situated that could only be fully viewed while holding a goatsie for 3 hours. Speculation arose as he was criticized for just being a complete rip-off of rival wrestling companies WWE Titantron (played by Voltron) and labeled as a cheap and pathetic knock off. In which Faggatron responded with, "That Titantron bitch is just jealous he doesn't get to ram the Disney MGM golf ball up his ass as payment or suck off Hulk Hogan for more on air screen time" The rivalry between the two Trons soon ended when WCW went out of business for sucking more amounts of dick then Paris Hilton at a job interview.
Make Me A Star[edit | edit source]
After the fall of the WCW, Faggatron sought out new career opportunities away from being known as a robot with an LCD screen up his ass that can only be seen while preforming a goatsie. It was during this time period that Faggatron felt the cold effects of a cruel universe that just did not accept homosexual behaviors. Faggatron had to go underground and find his place amongst the rest of the outcast gay Transformers of the universe.
Faggatron found himself becoming a porno star to make homosexual home movies for Micheal Jackson where he had to engage in sexual acts with Macaulay Culkin in "Home Butt Not Alone" & with Hayley Joel Osmond in "Guess Whose Rimming Your Innards" (see sample footage in picture to the right) - Faggatrons popularity amongst his adoring gay fellow out-cast Transformers made him the perfect robot to lead them into the uprising for equal rights for homosexual Transformers. The decision was made to make Faggatron there King, and was sworn in to lead them as there new name, the Goatsie-Bots, later shortened to GoBots AKA: Mighty Morphine Machine Men.
The name of the cult was originally going to be called the GayBots, but it was already copyrighted by internet company Yahoo! for there already established Gaybots located in Yahoo! Chatrooms.
The GOBOTS[edit | edit source]
The GOBOTS went into production for a small series that was a blatant rip-off of the Transformers, but no legal action could be taken as Faggatron was himself originally created as a Transformer, and there for his new gay counterparts where legally allowed to rip whatever they wanted off of the Transformers, as long as it was done in a gay manner. GoBots merchandise was often bought by parents who where too cheap and gay to buy there kids real Transformers, and had to settle for the lower priced gayer versions of the Gobots production line.
Many popular characters where made semi-stars under Faggatrons guidance, such as;
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The Death of Faggatron and The Go-Bots?[edit | edit source]
The Gobots religion went out of business when co-owner of the religion, Ted Turner stopped giving them the money to fund there products and TV show. The company went under and was eventually bought out the uprising religion of the Transexualformers. Faggatron had to dismantle all his fellow Gobots to sell as extra parts needed to make Tamaguchi toys, and found himself alone, still gay, and broke.
Faggatron was reduced to having to make small shopping mall appearances for emo fags who still hung unto the memory of what was once the gayest religion of all. In 2004 Faggatron was diagnosed with terminal ass rim rust, and needed a new rear end operation. This led to Faggatron suffering from severe depression, not having any money to buy the new operation, and climbed into a car crusher and committed suicide.
The Memory Lives On Forever In Gay Mens Asses[edit | edit source]
Upon hearing about his disowned brothers death, Optimus Prime felt the guilt of losing his secret brother. Optimus felt that he had done wrong, and to emend his wrong doings, would set up a line of toys of tribute in Faggatrons memory. The toys where anal dildos known as "Anal-Bots" that transform from robots into vibrating dildos that boldly go where gay men have enjoyed it before. The Anal-Bots are the #1 selling dildo for all gay men across the universe and come in a wide range of colors, and have complete computability with iPods and Windows 98.
Faggatron will live on forever now in the memory of every gay mans ass.
See Also[edit | edit source]
So, find all the Mini-Cons, destroy the Allspark, stop the Decepticons, reprogram the stasis pods, defend the Autobots, plant the seeds of the future, process all the energon, activate the Omega Lock, open the Matrix, drink 2 gallons of a mercury-lead cocktail, light our darkest hour, and eliminate even the toughest stains!
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