User:Martinultima

Featured Image: Occam's Razor in Action.jpg

This person created an image which became one of the Featured Images on Uncyclopedia.

---

Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit Talk page Stylesheet VFH/VFP/RD Pee Review Ultima Linux Homepage

Main Page Yo, Dawg! You wanna pimp a ho!? But you ain’t got no ho 'ta pimp? Simple fool! First thang that a pimp needs is some good sense, and it jus’ ain’t good sense that you can pimp a ho, without no mothafuckin’ ho. So you gotta get recuitin' some bitch ta be yo' ho, and you put that bitch ta wurk. The history of hos ‘n’ pimps is some plain shit, Holmes. The first cave brotha told the first cave bitch, "yo, mama, get yo' mud-flappin' ass outta here. Go'n fuck 'nother cave chump, ho! An' bring back some mothafuckin' bones!" That's when pimpin’ hos was born, man. My bitches be shy, an' they needs a po-lite introduction. That's what pimps is fo'! Now gettin’ a ho be smooth in my hood, coz’ a lotta bitches chillin’ round lookin’ fo' a pimp, so I got me all kinds-a mothafuckin’ hos. That’s why I’s tellin’ ya. That‘s why I’s sweatin’ writin' this here shiit. Cos' I’s the man in my hood. I’s ‘super-pimp’. And cos' this hea jive-ass Uncyclopedia come an’ ask my advice. So, yo! Hea' this'. You can listen-up if you want ‘thang’ on how ta pimp a ho. (Full article...) Recently featured: Pikmin Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to America and her allies? ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to America and her allies? ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to America and her allies? ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded? ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to America and her allies? In the news Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) On this day... April 16: 42nd Josef Stalin Appreciation Day (World) 1560 BC - Moses forgets to take his schizophrenia pills and begins to hear voices. He takes off from Ur, resulting in all of modern humanity's problems. 1855 - Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln enjoy a night of mad passionate love. 1878 - Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is born. Baby Hitler shudders in his Baby Hitler dreams. 1934 - Eleanor Roosevelt uncharacteristically enjoys a hotdog. 1943 - The first "Annual Miss Stalin-Look-Alike" contest is held in the Soviet Union; Joseph Stalin wins unanimously. 1953 - Desi Arnaz slaps Lucille Ball, calling her an "estupit beach" on national television. 1991 - US federal law passed forbidding driving while spreading cream cheese on a bagel. 2006 - The Queen of England decrees that all Australians must wear cork underpants. 2011 - Encyclopedia Dramatica sadly returns within 2 days of its death. Today's featured picture In order to quell the ongoing strife in the Mideast, the Canadian government has elected to send their elite peacekeeping forces into Afghanistan, Iraq and Mos Eisley. Image credit: NewMess1ah View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images edit Recent Articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Martinultima’s Scratchboard In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales: “Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.” ~ Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007 Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready: And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready... Add New Post Edit Posts My Latest Articles Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH Jolt Cola PEE - Update Table Complete Bibliography 8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B... 7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now) 7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!) Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber. 7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein 7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite) Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg 7/3/2007 Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...) Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order! 6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review 6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show. 2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}}) 2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes) 2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!" 2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace) 2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic) 1/18/2007 Jolt Cola 1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe 6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page 6/3/2006 Deep Note 3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version) 1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates) 11/30/2005 Celine Dionide 11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg 11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers Articles Images WTF? Update