User:Martinultima

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Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page

The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit

Main Page
1140005947 f.jpg

A woman is not a womyn or a wyf or a wyfman. She is someone who has not decided to affiliate with feminism or Middle English in any way. She is probably very normal, but in an attempt to prove male dominance, only one out of ten (male) doctors agree with this assessment.

For thousands of years, men have been searching for a final solution to the women problem. They have yet to execute any permanent measures and experts are beginning to admit grudgingly that women might be here to stay.

Notable characteristics include chocolate blood, talking too much, 15 GHz multi-tasking capabilities, and an innate hunger for shopping. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.1.1: Warning: No results.

Did you know...

  • ... that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?
  • ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ... that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?
  • ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ... that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?
  • ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ... that if a tree falls in the forest and no one's there to hear it, the tree will begin to sing Nightwish until somebody approaches within earshot?

In the news

Mrs. Garrett (TV's The Facts of Life) dies
You take the good, you take the bad...

On this day...

August 15: Hug People While You're on Fire Day:
  • 1,000,000 BC - Caveman introduces fire to humankind as he hugs people for help while he is on fire.
  • 1800 - Napoleon invades Russia, but forgets to hug Stalin when he on fire, thus ensuring French defeat.
  • 1963 - Buddhist Monks protest South Vietnam government's discriminatory policies which favor Catholics by lighting themselves on fire and hugging the Arch-Bishop.
  • 1975 - Three members of the Fantastic Four hospitalized with third degree burns after the fourth member, Johnny Storm, takes Ecstasy.
  • 2002 - Hug People While You're on Fire Day partially negated by Hug People While You're Wet Day

Today's featured picture

{{Votevfp.dpl|image=Kfcstalinsexiest.JPG |name=KGB Stalin |size=230px |caption=If you don't buy their chicken, you might end up disappearing. |credit=Bezdomniy |scoretext=radiation laced chicken buckets |nom= |fornumber=30 |for=

  1. Nomination & For, I'm not sure how original this image is but I love it. Especially the caption that Mad Max added to the image. Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 03:16, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  2. For. Assuming it is indeed original. HOMESTAR ME!!! TURTLE ME!!! t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 03:20, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  3. For. Assuming the same as everyone else.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 03:23, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  4. For. --AAA! (AAAA) 07:10, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  5. For catchy punchline.--Triple-Quadruple 16:25, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  6. For, assuming it's original. Oh, and also, the caption is gold. :P --Icons-flag-us.png SonicChao Babbel!Contribs 13:50, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  7. For--Kenmcfa 16:26, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  8. For --The Rt. Hon. BarryC Icons-flag-gb.png MUN (Symposium!) Sigh. Double Sigh. 16:45, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  9. For --GAMESPOT=666 22:03, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  10. For --Sir OCdt Jedravent CUN UmP VFH PLS ACS WH 00:49, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  11. For - David Gerard 01:54, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  12. For--J. Fuckin Kyle (talk) 20:18, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  13. For, fine work. --YnnaD 20:41, 26 December 2006 (UTC)
  14. For--Assalamualaikum Flag of Brunei.pngmy Talkneed work:AWSOME FACE.png 10:23, 24 October 2010 (UTC)
  15. For Pun always fun Ticklethekeys (talk) 04:26, June 17, 2012 (UTC)
  1. PFP is for voting on already featured pictures, silly bunny. --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:41, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
  2. Zombiebaron
  3. Triple-Quadruple
  4. The-elementalist
  5. nuknuk
  6. §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ
  7. Marco Raimey
  8. Hinoa
  9. Ted Ted
  10. goshzilla
  11. Sunstar
  12. Kathumandu
  13. Insineratehymn
  14. ForestAngel
  15. Azuramothren 205.123.97.115
    IP vote. --Algorithm 20:09, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
  16. For I love this image and the caption underneath it. Deffinetly one I thought had already won something like this. this one has my whole-hearted support. -St. Fenix (UserTalk) 02:08, 25 October 2007 (UTC)
  17. For. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 02:06, 14 September 2009
  18. Symbol for vote.svg For. Now that's delicious --Prätt Körp (talk) 11:47, October 25, 2012 (UTC)

|againstnumber=4 |against=

  1. Against for blatantly obvious reasons. - Sikon 07:30, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  2. Against. It's just not Stalin without the uniform and slick hair, a la this.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:00, 24 December 2006 (UTC)
  3. Against, has potential, but can do much better. -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il.png GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 22:52, 24 December 2006 (UTC)
  4. Against Kinda unoriginal there. --Pleb SYNDROME CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!) 14:51, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

|comments=Featuredrc (t) 08:00, 26 December 2006 (UTC) |%PAGE%=Uncyclopedia:VFP/Kfcstalinsexiest.JPG|%TITLE%=VFP/Kfcstalinsexiest.JPG|%DATE%=|%USER%=|%ARGS%=§image=Kfcstalinsexiest.JPG §name=KGB Stalin §size=230px §caption=If you don't buy KGB§their chicken, you might end up disappearing. §credit=Bezdomniy §scoretext=radiation laced chicken buckets §nom= §fornumber=30 §for=

  1. Nomination & For, I'm not sure how original this image is but I love it. Especially the caption that User:Mad Max§Mad Max added to the image. {User:Tom_mayfair/sig} 03:16, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  2. For. Assuming it is indeed original. {User:Tompkins/sig} 03:20, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  3. For. Assuming the same as everyone else.--{User:Bradaphraser/sig} 03:23, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  4. For. --{User:AAA!/sig} 07:10, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  5. For catchy punchline.--User:Triple-Quadruple§Triple-Quadruple 16:25, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  6. For, assuming it's original. Oh, and also, the caption is gold. :P --{User:SonicChao/sig} 13:50, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  7. For--User:Kenmcfa§Kenmcfa 16:26, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  8. For --{User:02barryc/Signature} 16:45, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  9. For --User:GAMESPOT=666§GAMESPOT=666 22:03, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  10. For --{User:Jedravent/sig} 00:49, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  11. For - User:David Gerard§David Gerard 01:54, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  12. For--{User:J. Fuckin Kyle/signature} 20:18, 25 December 2006 (UTC)
  13. For, fine work. --User:YnnaD§YnnaD 20:41, 26 December 2006 (UTC)
  14. For--{User:MRAZ/sig} 10:23, 24 October 2010 (UTC)
  15. For Pun always fun User:Ticklethekeys§Ticklethekeys (User talk:Ticklethekeys§talk) 04:26, June 17, 2012 (UTC)
  1. PFP is for voting on already featured pictures, silly bunny. --{User:Modusoperandi/sig} 14:41, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
  2. {u§Zombiebaron}
  3. {u§Triple-Quadruple}
  4. {u§The-elementalist}
  5. {u§nuknuk}
  6. {u§§ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ}
  7. {u§Marco Raimey}
  8. {u§Hinoa}
  9. {u§Ted Ted}
  10. {u§goshzilla}
  11. {u§Sunstar}
  12. {u§Kathumandu}
  13. {U§Insineratehymn}
  14. {u§ForestAngel}
  15. {u§Azuramothren} {u§205.123.97.115}
    IP vote. --User_talk:Algorithm§Algorithm 20:09, 24 October 2007 (UTC)
  16. For I love this image and the caption underneath it. Deffinetly one I thought had already won something like this. this one has my whole-hearted support. -St. Fenix (User:St. Fenix§UserUser talk:St. Fenix§Talk) 02:08, 25 October 2007 (UTC)
  17. For. {User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/sig4}02:06, 14 September 2009
  18. {For} Now that's delicious --User:Prätt Körp§Prätt Körp (User talk:Prätt Körp§talk) 11:47, October 25, 2012 (UTC)

§againstnumber=4 §against=

  1. Against for blatantly obvious reasons. - {User:Sikon/sig} 07:30, 23 December 2006 (UTC)
  2. Against. It's just not Stalin without the uniform and slick hair, a la this.--{User:Modusoperandi/sig} 02:00, 24 December 2006 (UTC)
  3. Against, has potential, but can do much better. --{User:Mordillo/sig} 22:52, 24 December 2006 (UTC)
  4. Against Kinda unoriginal there. {User:Syndrome/sig} 14:51, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

§comments=Featured {user:Rcmurphy/sig} 08:00, 26 December 2006 (UTC) }}


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Martinultima’s Scratchboard
In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales:

Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.”

~ Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007

Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready:
Franklinstein-signing-detail.jpg

And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready...
My Latest Articles
Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH
Jolt Cola PEE -
Complete Bibliography
8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!)
Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein
7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite)
Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
7/3/2007 Norelcopee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...)
Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review
6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
1/18/2007 Jolt Cola
1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page
6/3/2006 Deep Note
3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version)
1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
11/30/2005 Celine Dionide
11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers
Articles Images WTF?