User:Martinultima

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Main Page Africa is a continent often considered to be "God's blindspot", as it is wracked with hunger, poverty, disease, genocide, giant bugs, giant apes, feces, and hopelessness. Not a pleasant place to be, all things considered. It's got exotic animals though. Suh-weet! The continent of Africa was first formed many many moons ago. Exactly how many moons ago is not important unless you're studying geology, and since you are currently browsing Uncyclopedia, I think it's safe to rule that one out. Africa is notable in that it is the original homeland of the human species. Keep in mind that this is the consensus reached by the scientific community only. Fundamentalists for some reason do not like the idea that Adam and Eve were Africans. Charming lot, those fundamentalists. (Full article...) Recently featured: I ACCIDENTELATY CREATED A MEME · UnNews:New documentary challenges Simpsons aliens · UnBooks:Zombiebaron's Adventure To The Zoo Archive · Vote for featured articles Featured today, a long long time ago Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.1.1: Warning: No results. A letter about Megan Fox, featured on 15 December 2014: Featured version Did you know... ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? In the news Trump news roundup: Plea deals, felonies, and a little girl dies in Border Patrol Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson Jeff Bezos caught stuffing old fat dude into his trunk (Pictured) Trump releases abhorrent holiday stimulus package George H.W. Bush dies: Best and worst of his life Murphy Brown revival not cancelled, (Dan Quayle joke withheld in light of recent events) Solipsist suicide bomber "not true solipsist" says solipsist community Book finally sells after 27 years, now Hollywood's calling UnNews remembers Stan Lee On this day... December 15: International Day of Björk (Iceland) 1939 - Classic movie Gone With the Wind first premieres as a travelling flipbook exhibition. 1945 - General Douglas MacArthur orders the Japanese to stop using those weird toilets with the tubes that spray water up your butt. 1978 - After the United States recognizes the People's Republic of China as the real China, Taiwan sinks into the sea. 1981 - The first suicide bombing is carried out in Beirut, Lebanon, declared a revolution in the terroristic arts. 1996 - Weirdo sends Björk (Pictured) a letter bomb after his copy of Homogenic is lost in the mail. 1970 - Soviet space probe lands on Venus, is declared the new "red planet." 1973 - The American Psychiatric Association adds "likes the taste of creamed corn" to list of debilitating mental illnesses. Today's featured picture Hello Kitty getting her groove on. Image Credit: IMBJR Vote on this image · Nominate new image · View all featured images edit Recent Articles African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary Statement of faith Baka the Master Builder Baboon John Cena Africa (Toto song) UnReviews:Terminator 6 Fall Out Boy (5 billionth rewrite) Chevy Chase Christmas Jingle All the Way of the Gun (rewrite) Staind Halloween (2018 film) Patti Smith Ali Khamenei Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (retitled rewrite) Art's True Meanings Fear Factory Faith No More How Do You Solve A Problem Like Thomas Becket Bookshelf Tad Queens of the Stone Age The Larry Sanders Show Keren Peles More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Martinultima’s Scratchboard In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales: “Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.” ~ Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007 Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready: And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready... Add New Post Edit Posts My Latest Articles Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH Jolt Cola PEE - Update Table Complete Bibliography 8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B... 7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now) 7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!) Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber. 7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein 7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite) Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg 7/3/2007 Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...) Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order! 6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review 6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show. 2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}}) 2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes) 2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!" 2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace) 2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic) 1/18/2007 Jolt Cola 1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe 6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page 6/3/2006 Deep Note 3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version) 1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates) 11/30/2005 Celine Dionide 11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg 11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers Articles Images WTF? Update