User:Martinultima

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Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page

The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit

VFH/VFP/RD
Pee Review

Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

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Featured today, a long long time ago
	Rhode Island, featured on 11 March 2025: Featured version XBA, featured on 12 March 2021: Featured version

Did you know...

... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured)

... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?

... that the Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament was founded by the Duke of York? (Pictured)

... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?

... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured)

... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?

... that the Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament was founded by the Duke of York? (Pictured)

... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?

... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured)

... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?

... that the Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament was founded by the Duke of York? (Pictured)

... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?

... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured)

... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news

Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured)
Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter
Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Winter Paralympics • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed

Recent deaths: Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey • Miami Dolphins • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city?

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons

On this day...

At least you know what you're getting into.

March 12: Indecent Exposure Day

1504 - Michelangelo's David lambasted by contemporary Italian critics for being insufficiently endowed (Pictured).
1923 - Mankind declares war on the rainforest after a tree lands on my infant boy, you are dead to me trees dead to me.
1962 - Beach bums take over much of Southern California, rendering it uninhabitable for decades.
1982 - Hospital administrators announce that disco has slipped into a coma and not expected to survive.
1994 - The Church of England allows women to become priests, but only on Sundays.
2011 - A Nuclear power plant in Japan explodes after massive earthquake and tsunami, Japanese children are born kinda fat now: coincidence?

View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's featured picture

Microsoft Internet Explorer's Popup Blocker has always left something to be desired.

Image credit: Blah Blah Blah
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Recent Articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Martinultima’s Scratchboard
In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales: “Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.” – Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007 Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready: And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready...
Add New Post	Edit Posts

My Latest Articles

Benjamin Franklinstein	PEE	VFH
Jolt Cola	PEE	-

Update Table

Complete Bibliography

8/3/2007	Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
7/22/2007	Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
7/21/2007	UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!) Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
7/4/2007	Benjamin Franklinstein
7/4/2007	Jolt Cola (rewrite) Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
7/3/2007	Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...) Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
6/26/2007	The Human Element – waiting for pee review
6/19/2007	Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
2/15/2007	Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
2/10/2007	National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
2/9/2007	UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
2/5/2007	Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
2/5/2007	Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
1/18/2007	Jolt Cola
1/16/2007	UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
6/3/2006	Minimalist talk page
6/3/2006	Deep Note
3/4/2006	Geocities (really crappy original version)
1/9/2006	I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
11/30/2005	Celine Dionide
11/20/2005	Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
11/3/2005	UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers