User:Martinultima

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Main Page New York hobos is the name given to an enigmatic, feral colony of bipedal mammals that can be found loitering about in the slums of the mighty metropolis of New York. While it is not yet definitively known how they came into existence, or the reason for their odd congregations in already densely-populated urban areas, there exists a widely-accepted theory that their demeaning lifestyle of fetid fornication and bathtub gin is at the root. As of the 2010 census, there are an estimated 37,000 New York hobos, the majority of which are of the seemingly-lower caste, distinguished by their darker complexion. New York hobos are considered to be a true omnivore, much like the common brown rat, and one will consume almost anything, but alcoholic beverages form a substantial part of its diet. A study conducted during the Reagan administration on the diets of the New York hobos came to the conclusion that the most-liked foods of New York hobos were (in order) alcohol, fast food, pizza, macaroni and cheese, rat feces, human feces, and cooked corn kernels. The study also concluded the least-liked foods were apples, raw beets, peaches, and raw celery. (Full article...) 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I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Non-playoff NFL teams firing their coaches • Jim and John Harbaugh family vacation in Cancun Recent deaths: Animal Farm • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • New York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys • Green Bay Packers', Carolina Panthers', Jacksonville Jaguars', Los Angeles Chargers', Philadelphia Eagles', and Pittsburgh Steelers' seasons • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • The Buffalo Bills' season. Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" • Aaron Rodgers' career, maybe On this day... January 18: French Armed Forces Day (France) 1778 - James Cook discovers the islands of Hawaii, names them the "Sandwich Islands": Cook is later killed by Natives after he declares the Taco to be a folded sandwich. 1886 - Field hockey is invented by hyper-insecure men who feel that gliding on ice is like, "totally gay." 1919 - During the Paris Peace Conference, the French Army give themselves the "Winner-est Winners" award, for having won the most in the conflict they have won. 1943 - The Polish city of Kraków is liberated by the Red Army, the Poles are surprisingly ungrateful for some reason. 1990 - Digital Underground's Humpty Dance becomes the No.1 song in America, listeners kill themselves in droves, having heard the voice of God. 2013 - To curb certain "unfounded" stereotypes of French people, France invades Northern Mali: troops immediately go on strike due to lack of hazard pay. 2024 - France surrenders. Though it is unclear who they surrendered to. Today's featured picture Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images edit Recent Articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Martinultima’s Scratchboard In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales: “Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.” – Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007 Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready: And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready... Add New Post Edit Posts My Latest Articles Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH Jolt Cola PEE - Update Table Complete Bibliography 8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B... 7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now) 7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!) Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber. 7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein 7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite) Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg 7/3/2007 Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...) Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order! 6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review 6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show. 2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}}) 2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes) 2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!" 2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace) 2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic) 1/18/2007 Jolt Cola 1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe 6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page 6/3/2006 Deep Note 3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version) 1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates) 11/30/2005 Celine Dionide 11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg 11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers Articles Images WTF? Update