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150 active editors • 41,099 articles in English

From today's featured article 

David in MSPWOAWFM.jpg

In MS Paint With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, originally known simply as With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, is a popular postmodern interpretation, often applied to classical works. The scope of this style is not entirely limited to artwork, as well-known editions of Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel Crime and Punishment and Radiohead's sophomore album The Bends have been made in recent years.

The style was born nameless some time during the middle ages, when a German sect of Gregorian monks in self-imposed isolation would practice the arts while pleasuring themselves to pass the time. The tapestries and manuscripts they created during these time were of unique design bearing almost no resemblance to those created by more conservative sects that frowned upon frequent masturbation. Lacking the intricacies and detailed engravings of their contemporaries, the work of the Seed-Wasters instead focused on the passion and entropy that lay beneath the surface of the artwork. This was, however, considered to be faint praise for a style that exhibited little to no effort and, occasionally, gratuitous semen stains. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

Santa plane.jpg
  • ... that Christmas was cancelled in 1984 after an unfortunate accident between Santa and a Boeing 747? (Pictured)
  • ... that in 1933, the Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
  • ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
  • ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
  • ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
  • ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?

In the news 

Tomodachi Life Island.png
Too bad you can't customize this in the original.

Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day • Some big shot musical award • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota

Recent deaths: The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government

On this day 

If a groundhog sees its shadows, it's DTF

February 3: Fuck a Groundhog Day

Picture of the day

The Fifth Horseman
 "Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?"

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 41,099 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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