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From today's featured article
All straight mans of every age,
Would you like to get fucking AIDS?
Have sex with us and you will see
In our town of faggotry!
This is faggotry!
This is faggotry!
Straight men scream in the dead of night.
This is faggotry!
Everybody make a scream,
AIDS and orgy till the gods gonna die in sight
It's our town, all the straight men scream,
In the town of faggotry.
I am the one having sex with your dad.
Cock with warts and eyes glowing red.
Did you know...
- ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured)
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that I am Batman?
- ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord?
- ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
- ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
- ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
- ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?
In the news
- Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life
- Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years
- The US government continues to shit itself
- Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured)
- BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children
- Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers
- Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah
- Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland
- Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK
- Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year
- Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay.
- NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.
Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley
Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • 2025 Major League Baseball season
On this day
October 26: International Time Travel Day
- 1822 - In theaters this summer: The Rock discovers the secret to time travel, goes back in time to kill Hitler, only to realize Hitler wasn't born yet.
- 1921 - Highlander comes forward a billion years and impales Sean Connery on a parking meter, revenge ensues.
- 1988 - Bill and Ted build a time machine out of a phone booth for access to space porn.
- 1988 - Proto-Emo angsty teenage outsider, Donnie Darko, avoids being killed by a time-traveling jet engine by sleeping on a golf course/is killed by a time-traveling jet engine.
- 1994 - First Time Cop trained; turns into serial killer, but accidentally destroys own grandmother, creating a paradox called Doctor Who.
Picture of the day
| In an effort to extend its presence to areas that were previously only covered by UnNews, Fox News has founded a subsidiary in Middle Earth to stay competitive on the misinformation provider market. Image credit: Kharpert |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
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- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 40,882 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
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