From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
|
|
Score:
|
Moves:
|
|
> visit main page
|
I was a little dubious when my dear friend Leonidas suggested that tonight we dine in Hell. But he assured me that it was the up and coming place for both "being seen" and for the best in quality cuisine. As he has had such a hard time recently, what with madness, betrayal and ultimately being slaughtered, I felt that it was only fair he decided on the venue for our tête-à-tête, dubious though I was about the skill of the head chef at this establishment.
My first impression of the ambiance was not good. I found it rather dark and oppressive, although the fire pits did give a somewhat cheery glow to the surroundings. As soon as I announced my name the head waiter was only too pleased to ensure we had the best of tables of course. I chose one close to a fire pit that was mostly unoccupied, which kept the amount of distracting screaming to a minimum.
I spotted my dear friend Hitler over on another table. I've not seen him for years now, so I knew he would be overjoyed to see me again. Sadly the spikes that were holding him to the table as he was buggered by two ostriches prevented him from greeting me in the proper manner. I took his screams of pain as he obviously intended them, as cries of pleasure at my presence.
I chose to start with the deviled eggs. My companion started with a simple red-hot poker up the ass, administered efficiently by our host. My eggs were unusual, with the added sulfur and brimstone tasting rather tart but not unpleasant. The general impression was of a more meaty dish than I expected, with a unusual salty after-taste. Indeed, they were more reminiscent of oysters than of eggs. (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)
- ... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?
- ... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
- ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
- ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
|
|
In the news
|
Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States
|
On this day...
|
|
|
| Colonization of the Week
|
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
|
|
Recent Articles ---------------------- -->
Writer and Noob of the Month
|
|
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
|
Uncyclopedia Languages
|
| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,710 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
|
