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37,701 chosen articles; created by the finest writers alive.
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Evil Jesus, the Messiah to all evil, not-so-evil, and irritable people, is the kind of Messiah who starts a brawl and then stands back to videotape the show. He's the type of Saviour who complains about your favorite movie while his guys lift your wallet. And contrary to popular belief, he is not a friend to the poor. He couldn't care less about them.
Yet Evil Jesus is talented in a twisty sort of way. He is responsible for all supernatural events. Ouija boards, psychic mediums, hauntings, out-of-body and in-the-body experiences, and all unnatural end-around's are Evil Jesus' bread and butter. Because of this, many poets and journalists confuse Evil Jesus with the antichrist. Yet he is very much the opposite of both Christ and antichrist. He's a veritable metaphysical Houdini!
Evil Jesus was born October 12 in 0 BC to 13-year-old Holy Milf Mary and her 85-year-old boytoy, Joey. Because they lived before the formation of Vatican City, which allows you to hump a 12-year-old while standing in line at the communion rail, they told everyone God had humped Mary to keep the authorities away from "Pedo Joe". But they hadn't needed to worry about it, because soon after Jesus was born Joey drank himself to death on a bet. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
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Donald Trump is the first convicted President of the United States
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