Babel:OW
Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 37,712 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres... | Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:
Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable. |
Oscar's Chosen ArticleRecently, I came to the realization that I don't exist; I haven't for years. And when I say years, I do in fact mean infinity, it's just that I'm lazy, and it's simpler to write "years" than to be bothered with typing out all those zeros. Or at least I would be lazy, if I existed, but I don't. Now, for the benefit of you nosy people who have no business reading someone's private diary—if you need reassurance at this early point, re-read the title. And for those of you who are too lazy to re-check the title above (though not in comparison to me, because, as I've already stated, I don't exist to allow a comparison), this non-treatise by a non-entity is untitled "Contemplating my non-existence". If it were in fact an actual treatise written by an actual entity, it would be instead titled "Contemplating my existence". Now let's just dismiss your next point of contention right away by saying that the fact that you are reading these non-words in a non-existent article does not in any way, shape or form constitute some kind of proof that they were written by me, and therefore I must exist. (Full article...) You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries?June 7: Execute a Journalist Day (Iran)
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The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
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Recent witticisms
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This Month's WitHoly cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.
Protected by Oscar's wit, and an elite clan of peasantry.