User talk:EamonnPKeane

Welcome!

Hello, EamonnPKeane, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for n00bs:

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If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome! ----The Zombiebaron 18:24, 20 June 2006 (UTC)

VFP Vote

Could you please change your vote on VFP to for like you said you would? -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 15:35, 26 June 2006 (UTC)

Dead Man Walking!

Dead Man Walking! was a ground-breaking U.S. reality TV show aired in 2007. Its premise is best summed up by host Judge Judy in the first episode:

“ Hello and welcome to Dead Man Walking! We've taken ten crazy guys and girls off Death Row all over America and put them in a house together! In this house, nine will die in the chair ... but one will be let free! Who will it be? YOU decide! ”

It was the first TV show to require special legislation to permit many of its elements. It has already spawned spinoffs in Saudi Arabia (House of Infidels) and China (Enemies of the People) and has sparked new interest in execution, with nineteen countries reintroducing it since DMW was made.

Contestants

Joey

Joseph "Fast Joey" Bonanno, a Mafioso from New York City was convicted of murdering Anthony James Kuszcack on April 22, 2001 as penalty for defaulting on gambling deaths. Abused as a child by his alcoholic stepfather, "Fast Joey" is known to burst into sometimes-funny, always-dangerous fits of rage at the slightest provocation. He received the loudest cheer when entering the house, with many fans dressing up as mobsters and waving Mafia paraphernalia in the air such as oranges, dead fish, horseheads and Bolivian coke.

Daphne

Daphne Alison Childs, Florida, was sentenced to death for killing couple Mary and Maurice Wilson on the night of May 10-11, 1998. Daphne is a real character, and during her imprisonment made many zany bids for freedom, including repeatedly claiming to be "innocent", asking the governor for a pardon (fat chance, Daphne!!) and even saying the death penalty was barbaric and medieval! (Well she would say that, wouldn't she! Eh?) Daphne spent most of her time in the house crying in the corner, terrified of the other housemates. She was the 3-1 favourite to win before being murdered on Day 22 by Dave.

Jack

Jacques Renard, a Frenchman from France, killed a Daniel Smyth in a bar brawl on June 1, 2004. As a cheese-eating surrender monkey, "Jack" was the least popular of the housemates. As a special joke, he was executed by guillotine.

Ivan

Ivan Vladimir Ilyanov was a Cold War-era Soviet spy, convicted of treason in 1987. Due to a bureaucratic mix-up, the USSR never noticed him gone. His outrageous accent made him a source of humour, as did his constant attempts to unite the lumpenproletariat housemates in class struggle against their bourgeois oppressors.

Dave

David Maxwell Edmonds, better known as The Pitchfork Killer, was given eleven death sentences for the murders of eight women and three gay men in 2000 and 2001. His brief friendship with a woman (Daphne) and a gay man (Charles) gave viewers hope that he might have found redemption, unitl he killed both of them with a five-foot pitchfork, smuggled into the house by unknown means.

Charles

Dr. Charles Winston had the most death sentences of any housemate, lending him a certain kudos in the house. He was a virologist who murdered an estimated sixty-two patients by injecting them with lethal viruses. He made a fatal mistake on Day 17 by making oblique reference to a "Bill", who Dave correctly surmised to be Charles' partner.

Tracy

Tracy Carol Rubenstein was convicted of the murder of her husband in 2003. In the house she acted as mother to the others, regularly cleaning, cooking and removing stubborn bloodstains from walls and furniture. On Day 20 she aroused suspicion by serving up chilli con carne, then telling the others that she and Daphne would eat sandwiches instead. Subsequent analysis found large volumes of strychnine, thallium, cyanide and arsenic in the dish.

Abdul

Abdul al-Faiji al-Mujarrah (alias Mike Thomson) was an al-Qaeda operative who scammed his way into the U.S. Army before killing twelve of his "comrades" in an attempted suicide attack. Abdul was paralysed from the neck down and his presence did much to highlight the needs of wheelchair users.

"Marshall"

Billed as The Mystery Housemate, the other eight had to decide if "Marshall" was on Death Row - or was he an actor? If they guessed correctly, two would be saved at the end. Dave claimed that Marshall was "White Rock Killer" Martin Ash, noting the similarity of the names. (Dave had, during his imprisonment, studied serial killers obsessively.) The vote seemed likely to end up 5-2 in favour of him being a murderer (Abdul abstained), but hours before the vote Fast Joey strangled "Marshall" in a row over the size of the carrots each had received for dinner.

It emerged that Marshall was an actor, none other than Max Jay Hiller, who had made brief appearances on CSI and House before getting his big break on Dead Man Walking!.

Events by week

Week 1	Tasks	x
	Punishments	x
	Entrances	Joey, Daphne, Jack and Ivan
	Deaths	Jack and Joey faced the public vote. Jack got 96.2% and was guillotined.

Week 2	Tasks	x
	Punishments	x
	Entrances	x
	Deaths	x

Week 3	Tasks	x
	Punishments	x
	Entrances	x
	Deaths	x

Week 4	Tasks	x
	Punishments	x
	Entrances	x
	Deaths	x

Week 5	Tasks	x
	Punishments	x
	Entrances	x
	Deaths	x

Week 6	Tasks	x
	Punishments	x
	Entrances	x
	Deaths	x

Week 7	Tasks	x
	Punishments	x
	Entrances	x
	Deaths	x

Theft from thieves

I have shamelessly stolen this (for this from your previous theft. With credit. \m/ - David Gerard 20:30, 16 September 2008 (UTC)