User talk:Danny Himself

Welcome!

Hello, Danny Himself, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Signing Articles

Hi Danny, could you do us a favour and not sign the articles that you are working on. Who contributed what is stored in the History for each article so we don't have to sign in the body of the content. Thanks. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Welcome to UnNews

Here it is, finally... your official welcome to the bedlam that is UnNews. I particularly liked the useless cat article. I have 5 cats myself, so I know a bit about how fucking useless they really are. My dog Evelyn is a much better companion and bag of protoplasm. Below you'll find the usual drivel I give UnNews folks.

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Jesus bought the Holy Ass, depicted here as a raptor, from zim in 1066 AD.

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to delete fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:57, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

never mind...

RE: being blocked, I don't know anything about it, so I can't help you with that. I barely come out of the UnNews cave (studio zim_ulator), and don't keep up with the politics and poultices of Uncyc. Other than that, I'm still drugged out, so slap me if I fall asleep... Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:37, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Your UnNews article...

is one of the best ever. Please write more.  ;) --GAMESPOT=666 02:04, 11 December 2006 (UTC)

Where you from, fool?

I need to know your country of residence and/or origin for adding your name to the UnNews team. Please get back to me on my user page. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:53, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

xMAS

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:54, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas

Santa Claus has given you an UnBooks voucher for Christmas. This voucher can be exchanged at any UnBooks store for an UnBook. If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here. Merry Christmas! From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:55, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur

Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 19:02, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Wow

I just realized how awesome you are. Here ya go:

You have won the coveted Bucket of Piss award. I would congratulate you, but this isn't anything to be proud about.

Keep up the good work. --EMC ^[TALK] 19:53, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

Not really, no. --EMC ^[TALK] 22:00, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for the vote!

Just thanking you for the vote you gave for my article Readme.txt at VFH. From all the againsts I doubt it will make it to featured status, but thanks a lot for the vote anyway.

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Also, a belated Happy New Year. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 15:08, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Ask Danny Himself?

I think not, but then I am but one voice among... welll, more than one. If you IRC, bring it up in #unnews and/or #uncyclopedia, or put up a thingy on Village Dump, whore your idea about, and see what happens. Maybe somebody will care. Good luck and cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:09, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Excellent!

As a passer-by, my commendations for UnNews:Internet Explorer 6 is not responding, which is just inspired and hilarious! 68.39.174.238 09:13, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

WOTM

Thank you. --Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:37, 1 February 2007 (UTC)

Well

I wouldn't really say I'm a main editor of the Sonic Youth page. I just kind of cleaned it up some (awhile ago), added a quote, and added the image at the bottom of the page. Most of the material that's there is basically what it's always been. I think it's a pretty nice page and I just added a little bit of stuff that I thought was funny. -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 01:25, 5 September 2007 (UTC)