User talk:Anstander
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Anstander, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:
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At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Anstander/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.
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Hello.[edit source]
Well... Here's what has happened... I just checked out Nicholas John Griffin. I could not help but notice that it is rather awesome currently... Due to this you have been awarded:
MrN9000 has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
I know that the importance and significance of this award will not be lost on an individual such as yourself. :P Anyway... If I might offer just a tiny bit of advice... Don't be scared of removing something which is added to one of your articles if it does not fit or spoils the article. Personally I thought the "retard" bit which was added by an IP was well, a bit retarded, but I left it there in-case you wanted it... Anyway, I will end my babbling soon... Oh.. WRITE US MORE STUFF DAMMIT!!! MrN 22:31, Nov 6
- Apologies for the removal of whoever the hell that was. I assumed it was one of those 'DAN IS GAY' edits, as opposed to one of yours which are rather funny. Myocardialinfarction 15:16, November 17, 2009 (UTC)
Welcome to UnNews[edit source]
On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC) |
Welcome to UnNews, Anstander, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
Obama now 8th in Google "Fucking" League[edit source]
For what it's worth, I enjoyed your article and said so on its talk page. I reverted your recent change as it was much less funny the way you left it. I am not going to remove an {{ICU}} if the Reverend saw fit to install it, but it was good work--obscene, but not gratuitously so. Please don't give up on this. Spıke ¬ 00:32 9-Feb-10
I'm terribly sorry[edit source]
I am so terribly sorry that you disagreed with my decision to ICU your article. Obviously I have enraged you to the point of documenting me as a "fucking humorless cunt". I honestly had no idea that I was so lacking in humor, nor that I was a cunt. Thanks you for pointing out these obvious character flaws, I will diligently endeavor to correct them.
Now, you may notice that I welcomed you to UnNews as a noob on January 5, 2009. Possibly due to the fact that my welcome template includes a very small number of incidences of the word "fuck", and it doesn't have any crass images, reading it didn't appeal to you. Had you bothered, you might know that there are other ways to get the attention, and possibly help, from admins and other users, as well as from many documents here on Uncyclopedia.
In short, please notice that I've spent a bit of time and effort writing this, but I will include no efforts to help you understand why it was ICUd. Had you actually asked me, I'd have laid it out in nice little pieces even a retarded cretin like you could understand.
Again, so sorry, Cheers, Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:09, February 14, 2010 (UTC)