User:Xander/Natasha, the girlfriend of Boris
“Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.”
“I'm glad that I could find a place where all my daydreams can come true.”
As the title states, Natasha is the girlfriend of the great hero Boris, but there's more to her before and after the occurrences. This is her story, documented in the Uncyclopedia.
Introduction[edit | edit source]
Sometime in Spring 2013, Alex was trying to create a good female character (in his eyes). With many attempts that were okay, he started to randomize, looking to the Masters for an answer. Eventually, he found the winning combination! All that was left to do is to give her a proper name. What better choice could it be than Natasha? She was off.
Humble Beginnings[edit | edit source]
These entries are taken from a journal where Natasha records her adventures. Despite her fears, she has managed to get through them with courage.
- Day 1, Planet X- "I have arrived. The house where I spawned looked simple, but interesting. I exited the house, it being slightly above the ocean. I took a few steps back and made a jump over the break between the house and the bridge. Making it, I moved along- wondering what I would expect. The terrain was interesting, many monsters passed me; I hardly bothered to take them on my way. All of a sudden, I left; wherever could I be."
- Day 1, Vorticon VI- "I have landed on Alex's home. He goes solo, for I cannot be able to see him. The land had cyan grass and multicolored trees. I was once told that this is referred to as the 'Hallow' . Later, I saw some pixies congregate. One of them went for me. Unfortunately, I didn't have anything useful to use to fight them. Something interesting was going to happen later, I heard the voice of a nice man..."
- Day 1, Wayne's World IV- "October has passed, for my adventure begins. I really liked the house that Alex built for me here. It may not have much, but I'll expand upon it as I go. When I left, I saw a cute white bunny moving about. All of a sudden, there was a green slime. It was idle. Then, it was vibrating. It hopped on the innocent bunny, killing it!! I was scared. If I could sleep, I'd have nightmares about the scene. It was the most horrifying thing I saw in my life! I drew my shortsword, slowly moving towards it as I planned to exact its retribution. I made a stab, killing it. The gel was all over my clothes, but I found a small lake in the frosty regions where I could wash them off."
- Day 2, Wayne's World IV- "My Guide arrived at the house. His first words to me were: 'Greetings, Natasha. Is there something I can help you with?' He made his proclamation in a nice, deep voice which enthralled me. I don't know why everybody is having a hard time with him, he's a nice guy. Later, I gathered snow and ice to build a house for the Merchant. Earning's easy, all you gotta do is find the right places to proceed with the action."
Meeting with the Cute One[edit | edit source]
This was taken from an obscure work known as "Will's Wrath."
"Hello! My name is Boris. We are on a quest to relieve a world from a person on a HUGE power trip," he said. "I'm Natasha," she said. "We must divert so we can get all our supplies. For some reason, the people thought that it would be clever to hide them from us," he said.
Meeting with Will[edit | edit source]
“Let me be, or risk your lives rejecting my offer!!”
They faced him. With their swords drawn, they struck him, pulling off manuvers in the vein of Errol Flynn. The fighting lasted a while until he was stabbed in the heart; he dropped dead. They have done it! They saved the world, but what's next?
Entrance to Earth[edit | edit source]
Natasha entered our world in late 2012. These are journal entries that were taken from those trips.
December 25, 2012[edit | edit source]
I have arrived at Topeka, Kansas in what appeared to be a TV studio. I came out of some machine that makes plushes of people like me. Turns out that Boris and I were the first of our kind to enter Earth. Our restrictions will prove to be worse in the field of navigation in here. Luckily, Alex is working on the future of our kind here.
March 14, 2013[edit | edit source]
Alex is taking me and Boris to Disneyland. He's going to pay for himself while we serve as his belongings that he's prepared for the trip. I'm looking forward to this prospect, for it isn't a dangerous place. "I know that you guys wouldn't want to leave here, but that's just the beginning. You'll work your way up the ladder, going to places that get more and more dangerous. Well, don't get nervous. Have fun!" he said.
October 1, 2014[edit | edit source]
So, we've been thinking: We should be a couple. I know that it could've been done, but it's best for us to wait for this occasion. He told me, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!!" He said that it must be done to ensure that our relationship will last for a long time. We look to our masters on how good their relationship is and we could be like them.
The Thanksgiving Special[edit | edit source]
On Thanksgiving 2014, the couple had a big Thanksgiving dinner. As they were getting things set up, Turkor the Ungrateful came out of nowhere and killed off 5 of their NPCs!
“This is it: A test of our love. It shall prove to be advantageous in battle.”
“We're not letting anything or anyone ruin our big Thanksgiving dinner!”
After a while, they encountered the terror and expunged him within a short amount of time. "I'm glad that's over," said he. As CLAMP taught us, love triumphs above all others.
Role Models[edit | edit source]
Sometimes, it takes some women to produce a good woman. Natasha is no exception for their influences have established her personality.
- Elizabeth Kucinich
- Sophia
- Deborah Harry
- Whitney Baird
- Jennifer Aniston
- Sania Mirza
- Martina Hingis
- Skye Electra
