User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/115

Episode 115:Blind Big Brother[edit | edit source]

(Episode starts at the entrance of a skyscraper)

Adam: Ooh, look, a plane!!!

(The group gets on the plane, and crashes it into the Canadian House of Parliament, where the Prime Minister is standing)

Prime Minister: Oh dear...like we need more planes smashing into buildings and whatnot.

Nikita: Well, apparently nobody here can fly without crashing, sail without destroying property, or drive without their car getting smashed at the intended destination.

Prime Minister: Well, I'm under jurisdiction to tear up your licenses then.

Han: Err....what licenses?

Prime Minister: Basically Driving, Flying, Firearms, Boating, and...

Adam: SHUT UP!

Emmzed: And since when did Canada have a Parliament? That's the British!

(Prime Minister reveals his identity as an EDiot)

EDiot PM: This is a fake Canada. You will all die here.

(The group steals a plane to fly out of the fake ED Canada look-alike to crash into the real Canadian House of Commons, which the real Prime Minister and George W. Bush are both in)

Prime Minister: I'M CALLING THE AMERICANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Benson: GOOD YELLING!

(American F4F-4 Wildcats fire at the plane with incendiary rounds)

Dizberg: WILDCATS? Seriously, weren't those used during WWII?

(Wildcats crash into the House of Commons)

Rene: And now we learn that both the pilots of those Wildcats are as good as us at piloting planes, and that I ANNEX CANADA TO FRANCE!!!

PM: I refuse. I DECLARE WAR ON FRANCE!!!

Keira: (Vocodor on) Why did we the pilots crash multiple planes into the House of Commons? That just proves they are...

Bush: AAA! TERRORISTS! YOU CORRUPTED MY PILOTS!

Han: They were in World War II era planes... you-

Kim: -Idiot. Goo goo ga.

PM: What are you doing here, Bush?

(Bush is hiding behind a curtain with a tape recorder and large headphones.)

Bush: Uhhh... YOU NEVER SAW ME! AMERICA DOES NOT HAVE A SECRET WIRETAPPING PROGRAM IN CANADA!

PM: Yeah right. <punches Bush>

(Bush and the Prime Minister go into a fistfight)

Everyone else: Savages.

(All of a sudden the Prime Minister falls onto the ground after an uppercut by Bush. A deep voice from nowhere starts to speak.)

Voice: FINISH HIM!

Bush: Hey, Cheney.

(Starnes runs in, being chased by Robert Gates)

Robert: GIMME MY PORN BACK!!!

Starnes: NO!!!

Robert: You big meanie!!! <cries>

Braycat: Shall we escape while these savages kill each other?

Nikita: Yes.

(The Group steals a Charter Bus)

Dizberg: That actually worked!

(Bullets from the Canadians and Americans fly through the windows of the bus. Everyone ducks.)

Emmzed: Or not.

(Bus crashes through a brick wall into a stadium hosting the Toronto Auto Show)

Aquarii: BOMB BOMB AUTOBOMB BOMBITY BOMB BOMB!!!

(All the cars explode.)

Civillians: TERRORISTS! RUN AWAY!

(The group steals a load of bikes. They crash into a concrete wall)

Adam: Can we use ANY form of transportation?

Indy: But CONTENTS!

Han: Indy, Adam, Froggy, and me were all scouts once. WHY CAN'T WE RIDE BIKES?

(The group walks, and crash into a brick wall)

Han: Damnit!

Corsiare: I know what to do!

(Corsaire runs into the subway, takes a train, and visits a Maritime museum where he hotwires a replica of the Britannic, visiting by crashing into it)

Han: The HMS Britannic? It sank... after a Mine killed it.

Corsiare: Not this exact replica!

(The group enter the ship...and crash into an iceberg in the middle of Toronto)

Adam: WHAT THE HECK!?!

Corsiare: We're taking asphalt in fast!

Cerid: Er... how come we suddenly CAN NOT MOVE ANYWHERE AT ALL?

Han: I see the special new UNCRASHABLE PLANE there!!!

(They take the uncrashabe plane...and crash it into a house)

Han: Our new director SUCKS.

Director: YOU'RE FIRED! Actually, nah.

Han: Hey, I see a UFO!!!

(They take the UFO...and crash it)

(Connery walks into the stage, crashing into it)

Cerid: I suggest we just stand right were we are.

(The Group does so. American Tanks drive across the road.)

Aquarii: I have an idea!!! FLY!!!

(The group starts flying)

Aquarii: CRASH!!!

(The group crashes, Connery kills the director)

Producer: Oh great. We've got another director killed! Jimmy! Get the Director Creator 2000!

Jimmy: But the Director Creator creates crash lovers!

Producer: GO GET IT ANYWAY!!! Like I have enough money to hire Stephen Spielberg or any other director with talent!

(Director created, group gets in cars, they get into a traffic jam, get tired of waiting, and speed, crashing into cars)

Connery: NO MORE!!

(Connery kills the new director. A new one appears.)

Everyone: Stop having us crash, or WE'LL QUIT!!!!

(Connery kills the new director. Stanley Kubrick walks onto the set.)

Stanely: I will oversee this production as director from now on.

Producer: I can't hire you.

Stanley: Well tough shit. I'm going to be director now, and we're going to be limiting the crashing, and adding the action.

Producer: Seriously. I can't hire you. You're dead. <destroys Stanley>

(New director appears, group gets their own country, full of crashes)

Dizberg: NICE!!!

(Group crashes into a wall, then crash into a brick, then into a plane, then into a car, then into each other. Connery kills the director. New director appears, and doesn't want crashes on things other than planes too often. The group has no more country, and now is back in Canadian streets. They steal a plane. It is shot down by F4F-4 Wildcats)

Han: We're going down... again.

Adam: Everyone brace for impact. Again.

(Plane crashes... again. This time they crash on an Island. After going through a small section of the Bermuda Triangle, three residents of the island comes out.)

Villager 1: BB unlike outer party members using planes drivewise.

Villager 2: They unpax.

Villager 3: Unwithful. Child is with them.

Han: Where are we? And I'm not understanding you.

Person: Prole speakwise oldspeak? I to miniluv reportwise! Oceania speak newspeak, unoldspeak.

Han: AAA...BIG BROTHER!!!

(Connery shoots the newspeak people, only to be taken away by the Miniluv several minutes later.)

Han: Ooh, a boat!!!

(The group travels by boat to get to Afghanistan)

Adam: What the heck!?! WE JUST GOT TO A LANDLOCKED COUNTRY BY BOAT!!!

Afghanistan Leader: I declare war on Canada, France, Japan, Germany, Russia, Korea, Native Americans, and America, because these guys got here.

(Marshal Froggy has a heart attack, credits roll. At the end of the credits, Trousers can be seen at a table playing bridge with the EDians. He loses the round.)

Trousers: SHIT!

EDian: Lulz. Hand me over your trousers.

Trousers: Fuck you.

(The episode ends completely.)

Watch the next Episode...

The Young and the Uncyclopedians

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