User:The PS2 Guy/Luigi
Luigi "Adolf Hitler" Mario is a character in the Mario video game series. He is the often-neglected brother of Mario, despite being more agile and being able to jump higher than his sibling. He is a major sufferer of DID (dissociative identity disorder), and has been known to call himself "Mama Luigi," "Dr. Hell", "Dr. L", or even "Mr. L," to a much less consistent extent.
Birth and Childhood[edit | edit source]
Luigi was born in 1965 to a successful whaler and his broad-chested wife. His pituitary gland was permanently damaged after being dropped on his head multiple times (resulting in his tall stature). Mama Luigi developed much faster than most children, reaching a height of six feet tall by age 9. He began growing facial hair at age 11, and now sports a very arousing handlebar-mustache. He bears an uncanny resemblance to the Nazi dictator, Hitler. Interestingly, his "father" was chasing Adolf Hitler at the time of Luigi's conception.
Luigi was a very good student who consistently reeled in C+'s from his classes. However, his academic career was put on hold when at age 10 he was suspended from the Mushroom Kingdom Primary School for vandalism. During his suspension he bought a Ph.D from Amazon.com.
Performing Career[edit | edit source]
After that, he dropped out of school to become a video game character. After finding roles in flop TV shows such as Seinfeld, Family Guy, and SpongeBob SquarePants, he quit his acting career to become a video game character after finding an opportunity in the video game industry. The Mario series, which had struggled since the death of its founder Richard Nixon, hired Waluigi onto one of its games as a partner for Warioin the late November of 2000. Waluigi was instantly loved by fans, and game sales rose 24% in 2001. He was also praised for his original name.
Since 1983, Luigi has starred in 200+ (and has changed because it has been so long) games, his most notable appearanes are listed below:
1.Mario Bros. (1983)
2.Super Mario Bros. (1985)
3.Super Mario Bros. 2 (1988)
4.Super Mario Bros. 3 (1988)
5.Super Mario World (1990)
6.Mario is Missing! When Luigi has to waste his time saving his communist brother. (1992 A.D.)
7.Hotel Mario (1993)
8.Mario Kart 64 (1996)
9.Mario Party (1998)
10.Mario Party 2 (1999)
11.Mario Party 3 (2000)
12.GTA 3 (2001)
13.Luigi's Mansion (2001)
14.GTA: San Andreas (2004)
15.Super Paper Mario (2007) When he changed his name to Mr. L!
16.Yoshi Commits Tax Fraud (2010)
17.Super Mario Extreme 2 (2011)
18.Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as a weak character (2018 A.D.)
In 1996 he took up a part time job as the mascot for the Kansas State Wildcats. He was fired only three weeks later after a Wildcats win. Luigi had supposedly told a KU player to "suck it!" before streaking across the field, tearing off his overalls and doing the "crotch chop" completely nude. It took the staff eleven minutes to catch and subsequently taser the sadistic Luigi.
Having starred as the boss in Kirby's Adventure, and the villain in Meet the Robinsons, Luigi hopes to further his career by commandeering a hostile takeover of Nintendo.
Political career[edit | edit source]
Although Luigi initially kept his political opinions muted, his constant need for attention brought him closer to the alt-right. He began posting increasingly insane bullshit on Twitter, seemingly for the sake of controversy. Eventually, he befriended the alt-right's favorite carrot, Donald Trump, and funded his campaign with hundreds of millions of dollars. In exchange, Trump promised to shower his stupid exploding rockets and exploding car businesses with government funds.
After the spectacle of the 2024 presidential election, in which Trump defeated Kamala "BRAT" Harris, Dr. Hell and Musk promptly entered the White House—despite not being invited—and even allowed Trump to share the White House with him shared the Oval Office with Trump. This was particularly concerning given that, as a native-born Ottoman, he was not eligible for the presidency. Dr. Hell then created a new government department for no apparent reason, naming it after an increasingly outdated meme of a dead Shiba Inu.
Totally normal salute[edit | edit source]
On January 20th, 2025, the day of Trump's inauguration, Luigi made a benevolent gesture that was definitely not a Nazi hand salute while speaking to a stadium full of Trump fans. Supporters of Luigi, including the Anti-Defamation League, would later claim that the salute was merely an awkward hand gesture brought on by his unique brand of autism, although, Mr. L has yet to explain why he immediately went on to proudly recite Mein Kampf in the original German for approximately six hours afterwards, long after the crowd of Trump fans had left the venue.
Physical Traits and Abilities[edit | edit source]
Luigi is instantly recognizable in his trademark green Nazi-based hat and green shirt. Luigi is kind but can be a bit nervous, especially around ghosts. However, his abilities are on par with Mario's, so when these brothers team up, there's nothing they can't achieve. Luigi is taller and can jump higher than Mario.
Despite his homosexual attraction, Luigi openly admits to being gay. "I love being gay, because I'm called Gay Luigi for a reason." Luigi has said regarding the matter.
Luigi can defeat all Yids and says he does so "whenever I get a spare minute". Due to his alliance with Trump, Dubya, Elon Musk, and Biden, Luigi also possesses the unique ability to have sex with Trump, George W. Bush, Elon Musk, and Joe Biden. (Just imagine him putting his 17.5 inch dick deep deep in his ass and the piercing scream he lets out because it’s so incredibly painful but at the same time sexually satisfying.).
According to an unverified news source, in an interview with Mushroom Kingdom magazine, Luigi affirms the rumors surrounding this unnatural ability of his. When asked why he likes Americans, Luigi reportedly said: “My guess is because I support Trump over Erdoğan.” Nonetheless, skeptics insist that the news source was created by Luigi’s pretentious loyal fan base to elevate his status as a Nintendo character.
Future Prospects[edit | edit source]
Luigi has many life goals he wishes to complete before he passes away. His aspirations include becoming a llama breeder, visiting North Dakota, and meeting his hero, George W Bush.
A book of quotes from Luigi is due to be published by Random House in 1998. It will include poems, short stories, and proverbs from the Nazi One. When asked how he felt regarding the book's publication, Luigi responded "Waahaha! I'm MR. L!". He is also planning to appear as a judge on Canadian Idol.