User:PeregrineFalcon999/Game of Life

The Game of Life
Designer	Heavenly Productions Inc.
Genre	Life MMORPG
Version	1.0
ESRB Rating	All ages
Number of Players	Ever soul so far, more joining every day
Addiction Rate	Quite high, although many players choose to end it with a gun, or jumping off a high building.
System Requirements	None.
Inputs	Everything

The Game of Life is a role-playing multiplayer game made by Heavenly Production Inc. The original idea was coined and designed by God, and later edited by his son, Jesus Christ. Many people (nicknamed ‘Athiests’) do not believe that God was the rightful creator of The Game of Life. May God’s power strike them down.

The Game of Life is currently the most popular multiplayer on earth, beating WOW and Runescape by a considerable length. Every accountable soul has so far made an account.

Development

Life often been cited as one of the most rushed games ever released, as it took God only seven days to complete (though new speculation has arisen that this was actually a much longer period of time). Development started with the lighting engine (it is speculated why this was done first), once this had been finished God then worked on the core network code, soon followed by terrain, foliage, finishing off with life's amazing day-night cycle and ecology systems. Once all this was done a beta test was conducted, with the two first users Adam123 and Eve999. God originally planned to have extremely lenient rules, but when the item "tree of the knowledge of good and evil" became too widely exploited (estimated that 100% of beta testers used it), thus an extensive and strict code of conduct was put in place.

Gameplay

In order for a new player account to be created, two veteran players must get together and cooperate in a series of intruiging rythym based minigames after which a new player is spawned onto the server. Sockpuppets and bots are banned and none so far have been created.

At conception a random realm, is chosen for the new player. Don't worry if you are born in a poor server - you can always ask a higher level player to escort you onto the ships that carry large numbers of players from these poorer realms to richer realms- upon landing, you may have to play a stealth section involving the realm GMs.

Once you reach around Lvl 20. you should take up a skill, hopefully one that makes you large amounts of money without much effort, though you don't generally get these skills out of the bag and much tedious grinding is needed to work towards them, eventually you can buy your Uber Mount and show it off to everyone while creating as many new accounts as you can with other players with a high Charisma stat, preferably one of the opposite sex, the admin will be the judge of that.

If you should die, and it is very important not to let this happen, as there is no save system, you may either be respawned on the Heaven server (if you win), or Hell server (if you lose), depending on your total reputation points.

The Game of Life is famous for the player’s complete freedom and range of activities and events you can do. Limited only by government laws, players may control their avatars to do practically anything.

Chapters

Life has two big chapters: Life and Death. Life is the prologue to Death, and nobody playing the first chapter knows what is in the second chapter. Rumor has it that Death is divided in two worlds, Heaven and Hell (but that hasn't yet been confirmed), although there is also a rumor that Stage 2 merely consists of repeating Stage 1 again, but as a different character. Some even claim that Chapter 2 does not exist at all and that the game ends after Chapter 1. As to why the idea of a Chapter 2 was created, these critics claim that this was invented by various people in order to gain more points on this game. Chapter 2 is available to all players, on a random invite basis. The invite comes after level 60 in most cases, but however, there is knowledge of many skilled players that get invited to Chapter 2 at early levels (some even before reaching level 2).

Levels

Character development in Life™ is based on a unique leveling system, throughout the first chapter. The leveling system is not based on experience, but rather on time (i.e. one does not gain a level when reaching a certain number of experience points, but gains a number of experience points when reaching a certain level). To be more precise, one gains a level after 12 in-game months.

Users gain special privileges once the reach certain levels, for example:

Level 1 or 2 = Gain the ability "Walk"

Level 2 or 3 = Gain access to the chat system and the ability to use the big toilet.

Level 5 = Begin Elementary School set of quests.

Level 11-15 = Go through the Puberty system, where you gain the "Facial Hair" and "Deep Voice" abilities if male and if female the "Periodical Bitch" and "Larger Chest" abilities. Both genders gain the "Pubic Hair" ability.

Level 12-14 = Begin High School set of quests.

Level 16 = "Mount" ability unlocked. User may now quit High School set of quests if they wish. User may now begin other sets of quests which they may end up doing the rest of their account.

Level 18 = Finish High School quests. User's Party leaders can now choose to kick user out of the Party. If your Wealth stat and/or your Intelligence stat are high enough you may choose the College set of quests. "Smoke" ability unlocked.

Level 21 = "Drink Alcohol" ability unlocked. Access to bars open.

Level 21-30 = Many users start a new Party during these times.

Level 32-37 = Many male users begin to lose their Hair stat while the women begin to lose their Cleavage stat. Both genders rapidly lose their Attractiveness stat.

Level 40 = User is now "Over the Hill". Users lose their Respect stat.

Level 50 = Users usually quit their quests at this point.

Level 60 = Users randomly move onto the second chapter from this level up. Level of death is determined by how often users have used their "Drink Alcohol", "Smoke", and "Mount" abilities.

Level 70-Death = All stats decrease slowly until the second chapter.

Races

There are 8 main races for the player to choose from, each with its own advantages and disadvantages:

• Leprechauns - They are pale humanoids, and start with a base +2 points in Intelligence, Luck and Wealth. They are boring. They steal money and cheat on taxes.
• Latino Dwarves - They're tanned and wear big hats. Start with +1 in Agility, +3 Speed, +3 in Labor skills, but -2 in Wealth. They steal wheels.
• Gnomes - Small humanoids with strange eyes. They start with +3 Intelligence, +2 Dexterity, +5 Mating (but still, 0 Satisfaction). They speak Engrish. They steal patents for new technology.
• Dark Elves - Tall, dark skinned creatures, the Dark Elves were once leprechaun slaves. They start with +3 Sneaking, +2 Agility, +1 Strength and +5 Rapping. They have bitches. They steal rims. Excellent at quests that involve stealing, running and/or shooting.
• Dark Dwarves - Tanned people who wear big hats and moustaches. Kind of like latino dwarves, but less respected. They start with +1 Intelligence, +3 Dexterity, +3 Speed, +3 Agility, +6 Pickpocketing and -5 Charisma. They don't really have a guild of their own. They steal all kinds of shit.
• Red Elves - These indigenous plainsmen were once a proud people. Nowadays, they are known as avid gamblers, and are often seen smoking "Peace pipes" on subways and in restrooms. Red Elves are always very cautious, because Leprechauns are known to steal their land, possessions, and family, if and when the opportunity arises. +2 Intelligence, +3 Strength, +3 Scalping, +8 Tomahawk Skillz, -5 Cholera resistance.
• Pixies - Greedy lil' money-grubbing bastards; the lowest of the low. This race is known for being both very whiny, and generally obnoxious. Although they are lacking in terms of physical skills, Pixies are known for their extreme accounting skills, as well as their ability to sprout curly hair at any place on their body in a matter of seconds. +3 Intelligence, +4 Stealth, +20 Avarice, -1,000,000 Social Skills.
• Trolls - Short, Walrus-cooking people who wear large overcoats that cover their mouths and hair. Known for their great skills as hunter/gatherers, as well as an incredible knack for pissing people off with their stupid jokes, Trolls are considered to be better than pixies but not by far... -1 intelligence, +2 Dexterity, +3 Spear-chucking, +2 Food-Poisoning Resistance, +6 Cannibalism. Trolls cannot survive on their own; after eating their own internal organs, abandoned Trolls generally die of spontaneous combustion.

Classes

Throughout life you will experience many dangers...

Besides races, players choose a class and may swap between several. here are a few examples...

• Prostitute - Basic class for most females and some males of every race. After Level 18 they can upgrade to Acting and/or Singing
• Maller - The act of going to one of the in-game big buildings and just hanging around. Done by Leprechaun Females levels 13-16.
• Early parent - Generally done by Dark Elves and Dwarves levels 13-16.
• Pedophilia - Mostly done by Leprechaun Priests that belong to the Belgium Guild and Michael Jackson.
• Drunk driver - Pretty self-explanatory: riding your mount while under the influences of stamina raising potions.
• Begger - Main profession for Dark Dwarves belonging to the Romania Guild. Curiously, they don't exercise their skill with their own guild, but rather inside other guilds from the European Realm.

Viruses

Often, during the course of gameplay, characters inevitably contract viruses that can be potentially harmful to the user's gameplay mechanics, and often result in the user's entrance into the second chapter, death. Certain viruses can be contracted randomly at any point in the game, although these viruses have low risk levels, and generally incapacitate the user for several days. However, certain other diseases can be much more harmful and severe, such as the "C@nc0r" virus, also known as the "I'm fucked" virus. The easiest way to contract this virus is to smoke a "death stick", which can be purchased at any local convienience store for a nominal price. Death sticks generally take effect after 20-30 levels, and transport the user to chapter 2 several levels later. It is guestimated that 110% of users die from the "C@nc0r" virus, although this fact cannot be verified because I just pulled that statistic out of my ass.

Many viruses are considered "malicious viruses", in that they are given to a user by another user. Such viruses include "A1D5_Haxzor", "H3pa71715_<", and "H3rp35_169". These viruses are often referred to as the "Bastard Viruses", and result in diminished gameplay, as well as a loss of certain features, such as sexual intercourse. A "Rubber shield" can often protect users from contracting "malicious viruses", although many users choose not to use them because they feel that "Rubber Shields" demoralize their "Charisma" attributes. The afforementioned users are assholes, who generally end up bringing a new user into the world of gameplay 3/4 of a level later.

Finally, there are certain viruses that create "Glitches" in the user's gameplay, while leaving them in the first chapter. Such viruses can both slow down and freeze the users gameplay, causing the majority of users to throw tantrums, and slowly degrade into belligerent dicks. Such viruses include "Blindism", "Leopardosy", "Fattyism", "IBS", "Turrets syndrome", and "Retardification". All of the afore-mentioned diseases create huge challenges in the users gameplay mechanics, although some users find their newfound challenges entertaining.

Rules and Cheating

The Game of Life is famous for the player’s complete freedom and range of activities and events you can do. Limited only by government laws, players may control their avatars to do practically anything. However, there are certain rules.

1. The game starts when you are born
2. The game ends when you are dead (or does it...?)
3. No retries!

So far no cheats have been revealed.

Admins

There are currently only two admins – Great_guy_in_the_sky001 and Saviour_of_men999, his son. They used to patrol the game regularily, but they soon became quite lazy and abandoned their tasks. Their roles have been filled by numerous governments who enforced new rules.

Graphics and Sound

Although no in-game music can be played continuously, and there is only one quality level, the Game of Life has been awarded many times for it’s high quality, rivaled by no other game. The ambient sounds are perfectly articulated and the graphics are perfectly made.

Reception

Some accounts did much bad, but due to lazy admins, their accounts were not terminated quickly enough.

The general criticism of the game was good. However, many found flaws in it and their time in the game was not enjoyable. Many have criticized it badly, but it’s creators have refused to change anything.

Memorable players

The following are players and Admins that, for their in-game behavior, remain legends in the Life world:

• Great_guy_in_the_sky001 – The leading programmer of the game, God would often patrol the game. Many looked up to him for guidance, and he punished those who tried to cheat.
• Saviour_of_men999 - Son of the game's lead programmer. Used exploits for resurrection, quick healing, seeing into the future and metamorphosis (e.g. water into wine etc). Those features are not implemented nor announced for future expansion packs. Saviour_of_men999 got ganked and killed, but used resurrection on himself, so his account was banned around level 30. This ban is to be lifted at an unknown time. Rumor has it that when the ban is lifted the game servers will be shut down, in order to make way for the sequel "Creepy-Looking-Animal Trainer"
• hitler_@ - Leader of the "Nazi" guild. Developed a variant of metamorphosis. He used to transform pixies into soap, so his account got banned as well. Rumor has it that hitler_@ is actually a clone character of the jezus-X player [1].
• Chuck Norris - Developed a groundbreaking pair of boots ("Boots of Supreme Pain") that led to its famous RoundhouseKick™.
• Leeroy Jenkins, because every video game has to have one.
• MJ_BW<3k1ds - cheater. The first and only player to change his character's race without deleting it. However, nobody managed to prove he hacked the game yet, so his account is still valid.
• halfabuck - took 9 critical shots in one fight and still managed to get out of it alive.
• ismokbushes - Rumored to be the hacker that messed up the code for the guild master of the USA clan. As a result, he is extremely unpopular amongst many players of different races and clans, but he remains highly popular amongst archers.
• L337_M0535 - Known for leading a horde of Pixies in revolt against a particularly abusive admin, (F@r0h_1369), this legendary player was said to possess an incredible arsenal of talents, including the ability to shape-change, as well as the skill to shoot lasers from his eyes. Disappeared after a sordid affair with a particularly frisky pixie.

Server maintenance

Every few in-game years, a server maintenance is carried out in order to get rid of the cheating, exploiting players. Most of these maintenances get their own names, so the players who did not get their accounts banned could have something to refer to when worshipping the game's developers. Many of the maintenances take place without shutting down the game, for more dramatism. Here are some of the major server maintenances, in no specific order:

• World War I - it was such a dramatic one, that the developers even created its own video game
• Katrina - Russian whore that gave STDs to more than 200.000 of players around the Village of New Orleans. Over 60.000 were banned for breaking the Terms Of Service (in which it was clearly stated: "[...] nor have sex with Russian whores named Katrina in the vicinity of Village of New Orleans. [...]"). Over 150.000 more were given a warning and were penalized.
• 9/11 - Employees of another game developing company sabotaged Life™, thus banning a few thousand accounts.
• The Great Flood - Great_guy_in_the_sky001 decided that the majority of the players had been abusing the system. he therefore sent a huge flood, sending most of the players into the second chapter. However, Noah321, a very wise and old character, escaped on a boat, and restarted the accounts.

Scoring

Although scores are not visibly recorded, players gain points by completing certain activites. Below are a few examples.

• Being a Test Tube Baby - 500 points
• Being born as a spawn of Satan - 666 points + 666 points for everyone you kill
• Having Fun- 1000 points
• Going on Loose Women - -10000 points
• Killing everyone in the world – negative 10 000
• Eating chicken- 10 points
• Eating other foods- 5 points
• Eating sushi- 9876 points
• Being retarded- Times your score by 2 for every year you live
• Using the internet- 500 points
• Being Kerry king - 20 billion points
• Using uncyclopedia.co- 1000 points
• Being white - 10 points
• Being yellow - -10 points
• Being black - 10 points
• Being purple - 5000 points
• Being any other color - 5 points
• Beating up cool kids- 25 points
• Beating up loser kids- 50 points
• Beating up freshmen- 75 points
• Beating up seniors as a freshman - 125 points
• Beating up everyone in site- Corresponding of the above 4 times 6 (Loser kid will make 300 points)
• Smoking- Lose points over a prolonged period.
• Smoking weed- 420 points
• Being a Christian- 666 points
• Being male- 30 points
• Being female- 12 points
• Singing rap- -5000 points (although rapping is not singing, but rather a form of talking)
• Playing Bass - 100 points and gain the ability to flirt with any girl of your choosing
• Drinking soda- 10 points
• Being in a band- 50 points
• Drinking diet soda- minus 10 calories/points
• Drinking- you got liver problems go back three spaces or to the hospital
• Never going to a hospital by the end of the game- 401 points
• Cleaning your room- 30 points
• Being a virgin- divide your score by 2 for every day your a virgin starting the day you turn 16
• AAAA-AAA AAAAAA
• Being Oscar Wilde- instant win...
• Being a ninja- 300 points for learning and 500 points for each kill, - 100 points if your name is Naruto
• Becoming a genius – 234 to the power of 56, divided by the square root of A, and the acute hypotenuse angle of a 70cm triangle.
• Shouting "Eat Me" at inappropriate moments - 100 points
• Shouting "Eat Me Raw" at inappropriate moments - 1000 points
• Eating yellow snow - minus 300k points, if it's your creation +300k points
• Killing yourself- instant finish
• Reading Twilight - -You get negative infinity points and die
• Getting kicked by Chuck Norris-- +24873789358937595893649649862 and death