User:MeepStarLives/Template:AltWelcome
Welcome![edit | edit source]
Hey there, Template:AltWelcome, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for any contributions you have might have made to our little slice of the Internet thus far. I hope you like the place and decide to stay.
| “ | If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. | ” |
Unlike most schools you may have attended, writing stuff is not mandatory here. Although it is a good way to express your creative side, and some find it just the right thing for whiling away those pesky hours of "free time" you have laying around, there's tons of other specializations you can pick up. It's like an MMO without the monthly fee! People here have made an unpaid profession of photoshopping images, creating page lookalikes, and taking out the trash. What sort of trash, you ask? If you've spent any time at all reading Uncyclopedia, you may have noticed a few short pages about peoples' friends, schools, or hometowns, referencing such pop culture icons as Oprah, Chuck Norris, and Oscar Wilde, often typed in ALL CAPS for extra effect. In-jokes, rants, personal attacks, unfunny lists, outlandish statements, blatant references to internet memes, irrelevant images of an inappropriate nature, and incomprehensible articles that invite comparison to other humor wikis are not what Uncyclopedia is all about, and belong elsewhere.
Assuming you're the inquisitive type, you might have noticed this sort of message on the pages of other new users. I can assure you, yours is completely unique, and I type up a new one from scratch, every single time. Other users often like to give you a few helpful links to get started, along with some choice words of almost-parental encouragement. Don't worry, I'm not going to do that to you. No.
Because in the spirit of oneupsmanship, I'm going to do you not one, but several, better. I'm just going to dump this monstrosity here, on your talkpage. Consider it your own personal Uncyclopedia Owner's Manual and Technical Reference, Condensed Edition. I know I would have gotten started a lot sooner if someone had been kind enough to greet me with such an extensive guide when I landed here.
Helpful Links For New Users
Helpful Links For All Uncyclopedians
Pages Helpful to Wizards and the Technically Inclined
Project Specific Help Pages
Pages Where You Can Request Things
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Once you've read through the entire first chapter, you can feel free to start up your own userpage, a private (but publicly viewable) space where you can store your various trophies and regale us with your tales of Uncyclopedia accomplishments. Not only does having a userpage allow you to rub your satirical triumphs in the faces of other users, it also very much reduces the likelihood that we'll mistake you for a filthy vandal.
To create a new article, we VERY strongly recommend you start it in your userspace, so you can edit it at your leisure without its faults being immediately ferreted out and attacked by a pack of wild dogs, erm, users. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out in the pages above, and if you're not done, type {{construction}}. A great way for new editors to get the feel of the website is by indulging themselves in cleanups, proofreading, or rewrites. While we'd like to have an article about every single deserving thing in existence, we strongly prefer quality, and the surest way to produce a quality, featured article you can be proud of is to emulate success.
If you need help beyond what's listed in the pages linked above, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. If you're planning on staying awhile and want to commit to further learning the ropes, you really should check out our renowned Adopt-A-N00b Program where there are plenty of users, many more senior than I, to take you under their knowledgeable wings. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage and ask to join. Again, welcome!