User:Kippy/quoticide
The Great Quoticide was a political campaign to eliminate anyone who recited quotes too frequently. It was originally initiated in 2007 by Emperor Insineratehymn. Although it lead to the death of over 50,000 people, it was considered among many to be the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Origin[edit | edit source]
During the late 1990's and early 2000's, the use of quotes had great importance in society. Civilians that couldn't think of anything creative to say during conversation would just use witty quotes as a crutch. These "quoters" were interesting to talk to, and they were usually popular in many social scenes[1]. Thus, quoting became a widespread phenomenon.
As with every meme, over time it became irritating. Many of the quotations were far from being clever, and their use became exceedingly unnecessary. Usually the quoters would cite some obscure writer of little importance. The solution to this problem came when Emperor Insineratehymn came to power. He initiated a law throughout the land that stated everyone must speak a maximum of one quote per day. Anyone that spoke more than one would be arrested and fitted for trial.
At first many of the citizens were pissed off. The law was finally accepted when the annoying quotes drastically decreased.
Around the World[edit | edit source]
Soon the idea spread throughout the world, and many other countries adopted the Quoticide. The very first to accept the policy was Soviet Russia. President Vladimir Famine hated quoters with a passion. He sentenced any frequently Russian quoter to death.
The Quoticide took a bit longer to reach the United States. This was due to the fact that George Bush doesn't care about negroes quotes. However, as soon as he found out he could execute more people under this law, he quickly signed the bill and fired up Ol' Sparky.
Criticism[edit | edit source]
The Oscar Wilde Society solely opposed the idea. They argued that unless Wilde were to be quoted frequently, his soul couldn't remain in purgatory and he would decend into Hell. Similarly, in England there was controversy over the sport of making up Oscar Wilde quotes. The athletes were refused to compete out of fear of being murdered. Prime Minister Tony Blair altered the law, saying that since these 'quotes' were in fact made up and not legitimate, the athletes were allowed to practice the sport in an appropiate location.
In the U.N. there was a meeting held over whether or not politicians were talking the Quoticide too far. In a unexpected turn, the world leaders started arguing back and forth.
Quotes on Quoticide[edit | edit source]
Note: Due to legal reasons, all quotes have been moved to the bottom of the page. Uncyclopedia advises you to use these quotes at your own risk.
“I support the Quoticide. With people only using one quote, they will have no choice but to go for the best. That is to say, yours truely.”
“Damn.”
“You probally shouldn't quote me. I have the tendency to say things that don't need to be said.”
“Diese Leute, die Notierungen verwenden, müssen ausgerottet werden. Wie die Juden.”
“Fucking Jews are responsible for all the quotes in the world.”
“High five!!!!!”
“I'm going to bury that guy. I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill™ Oscar Wilde.”
“In Soviet Russia, quotes recite YOU!!'”
“In the above quotation, Yakov Smirnoff uses his unique joke known as 'Russian reversal'.”
“George W. Bush doesn't care about quotes.”
“I pity the foo that relies on quotes to be funny.”
“I will roundhouse kick anyone who doesn't quote me.”
“Huh?”
“Only one quote, use you must. Eliminated over-quoters will be.”
“Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfucking Snakes on a Plane references on this motherfucking Uncyclopedia.”
“Oh yeah, I'm sure this is going to work real well.”
“That's hot.”
“Quote me! Quote me!”
“Overuse of quotes depends on what your definition of the word "depends" is.”
“Anyone who doesn't use their quote to recite scripture will be smited.”
“Go Dad!”
“That's what she said.”
“This page could really use another one of my brilliant quotes.”
“Yes, Uncyclopedians have a tendency to quote Oscar Wilde.”
“BENSON DOESN'T NEED TO QUOTE OTHERS. BENSON THINKS UP HIS OWN CLEVER RESPONSES DURING CONVERSATIONS.”
“With every quote by me, you will be elligable for SAVINGS!!!”
“[Insert mediocre quote here]”
“This page has a lot of quotes on it.”
“I could have told you that.”
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ By "social scenes" I mean libraries, online chat rooms, sci-fi conventions, and other lame nerd hangouts.
See Also[edit | edit source]