UnNews:YouTube is dead

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Friday, May 3rd, 2024

One of the YouTube Admins at work, creating more food at the YouTube Office Party. This is also one of the cockroaches that had mutated when it got near one of the underloaded servers.

It has been proven that YouTube is now officially DEAD.

Over time, various malfunctions on here has gutted the YouTube website. The one that has terminated it is that the site used to function for 4 to 10 seconds, then it will go on forever buffering. When the Admins there were contacted about the website failing, they act like the complainants were all full of shit when it can be seen that the website has actually died.

People on Reddit and other places have said that the website does nothing but buffer forever, it does not do anything else at all.

An investigation has turned up information that a whistle blower said that the Admins and others throw food and feces all over the place and that allowed mice and roaches and aunts into the place and that they started munching on $100,000,000,000 worth of hardware, while those sickening Admins and others, who are really crazy climate change nuts allowed this to happen.

The Funeral for YouTube will be broadcasted on the all media outlets.

A mouse that was caught on camera infiltrating YouTube looking for food and shit, also looking for some wires to chew on
This thing also got caught looking for food,shit, anything else it can chew all to hell. This thing has been discovered to mutate into things that look like Kittens. When huffed, they can poison other Admins.
Some of the YouTube Admins. Some are humanoid,some are mice and cockroach mutants, some of which may turn into Kittens. One is telling a complainant that he is full of shit. He is also trying to get some sex on the side as well with the other two admins who are with him.
Chuck Norris getting ready to....pay YouTube a "friendly visit", and he may bring some Mountain Dew with him.
A cockroach mutated into a Poison Kitten. Do NOT huff kittens until you get them checked out. If not and you huff one and you are a Admin, you may get poisoned.
Dilbert hired as a YouTube Admin dressed up as a 👽, hoping that a 🛸 comes by and beams him out of this clusterfuck.

Special News[edit | edit source]

More Whistle blowers from both YouTube and Reddit have now claimed that "YouTube is intentionally preventing people from watching anything on this format until they turn off all anti-Ad programming so that they have to put up with their bullshit ads, scams and the like or pay up front a shitload of money for the same shitty service. Those YouTube Admins are also reported to still throw food, shit, piss all over the place, thus still attracting more vermin.

The possibility exists that the Federal Communications Commission can and would send Chuck Norris to YouTube to kick some Real Ass in order to straighten out the bullshit going on there. The next earthquake that would be felt in California will be Chuck Norris kicking the literal shit out of YouTube.

There is unconfirmed reports that YouTube may change its name to either Ad tube, even to Fuck YouTube.

Recently, YouTube allows only Ads to run without a problem, so suspicions may be confirmed that YouTube will in fact be known as AdTube, in which only Ads will be run while all videos will be used as Clickbait to lure viewers to click on a item of interest, only to watch only Ads, and if the viewers bitch about it, they can call 1-800-Eat-Shit or 1-800-Fuck-You. They will be also known as Fuck YouTube, which will discourage people who complain about the Bait & Switch (The video you want to watch is the bait, when you click on it, the switch pulled on you is the Ads you will be forced to watch, then when the Ads finished playing, the whole thing will display a rotating circle, then later display the same rotating circle on a black background....forever, as the YouTube system crashes and all manner of mice, bugs come running out of the mess) YouTube system.

Another possibility exists that, according to some whistleblowers is that the reason that YouTube wants all anti- Ad defenses removed is to make it easier for hackers and scammers to get the personal information of those that use YouTube for nefarious means, like Identity Theft, monetary fraud, fraud, robbery, dumping fairy porn, child porn, troll porn, dragon porn, worse on users' E-mail accounts. When the YouTube bosses were asked about these allegations, they gave two phone numbers to their Tech support system and to the Head Office, which are 1-800-EAT-SHIT and 1-800-FUCK-YOU, and two alternates if busy.....or not busy, which are 1-888-YOU-BITCH, and 1-900-ASS-HOLE.

Recently, real recently, there are reports all over the place that YouTube, aka Fuck YouTube is now actively in collaboration with all manner of scammers, incl. phishing sites, Internet scare the hell out of you sites, aka, "Your Computer Hass Pickled uPp A ViRus and it WilL DeStroY YoUr DeviCe In 20 MinuTes!", so you download this shit,and you will REALLY pick up something that will Fuck up your computer, like Joe Biden's Up Your Butt economic plans that require you to turn over your bank account to environMENTALists, ass wipers and US Democrats and leftists allies who cannot get a shit job, much less a decent job at all.

It may also be reported that, in the US, that the Federal Trade Commission, the Federal Communications Commission, and even the Federal Beaureau of Investigation,the Central (non)Intelligence Agency, the DEA, BATF, certain other "alphabet agencies" may go after Fuck YouTube, mainly to see if they give really great head, to see if they really suck more ass than the US Democrats.

Meltdown at Fuck YouTube[edit | edit source]

Recently the YouTube servers experienced a major meltdown and fire as a CME from the Sun has started to hit Earth 🌎 🌏 🌍. Some has stated that this incident, along with certain other incidents, may create the Zombie Apocalypse as Solar originated nuclear ☢️ radiation increases all over the place, further mutating all manner of life 🧬 into who knows what the fuck else. The fire turned into a 20,000 alarm 🚨 incident. Even the National Guard had to be called out as some of the YouTube Admins turned zombies proceeded to suck ass and act really stupid 😜🤪💩💩💩💩 as these Admins are doing. It is possible that these Admins got hold of some Poisonous Kittens and huffed them, even got into Wikipedia's stash of mice and cockroaches and huffed them as well.

Updates on What is left of YouTube[edit | edit source]

  • As of 5-27-2024, a autopsy revealed that YouTube has a history of corruption of data so bad that most EXPERT ITs have opened a portal to Hell, only to have YouTube thrown back out, and shut and permanently LOCKED the portal to Hell in YouTube's last known location, which was in California, but who could tell the difference between Hell and California.
  • There are reports that YouTube is trying to function, but those reports are only wishful thinking by people who try to watch videos, comment, only to find out the The hard way that all the remains do is BUFFER, BUFFER, BUFFER, BUFFER, BUFFER AS ants, roaches are eating the remains, and the Admins of YouTube keep cumming on the smoking remains.
  • Recently, the YouTube Admins tried to get a job at Wikipedia, only to be turned down by Jimbo Wales who said that they already have more than enough Asshats there already who ❤️ to insult their users until they leave Wikipedia to look for a better place to go.
  • It is believed that the expected funeral of YouTube will be televised as it's remains will be ejected into the Sun, or into a nearby gravitational vortex(A black hole, like the one located on Jimbo Wales or Nancy Pelosi at the end of their furry asses), so that this mistake will not be repeated anytime soon.
  • TikTok was slated to take over for YouTube, but the US will throw out TikTok as being Chinese spyware soon, only to find out that this is NOT Chinese at all. This was created in a town in Colorado called South Park by a Mr. Hanky, a US Democrat who loves to huff kittens, mice and cockroaches, along with a piece of clothing called Towelie, a drug addicted piece of shit that came out of Bill Clinton while he was there looking for some weed.

Sources[edit | edit source]