Federal Communications Commission

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“The FCC is short for The Fucking Cocksucking Cuntsandwiches

~ Oscar Wilde on The FCC
The FCC hard at work
The real hidden seal of the Fascist Communications Commission (FCC)!

Federal Commission of Cusswords or FCC (also known as Fucking Cock Crammers, Freedom Control Coalition, Fascist Communications Commission, Federal Censorship Commission, Fucking Corporation Coddlers, Fascist Communist Cocksuckers, Fucking Communication Cunts, Fucking Communist Censors, Faggoty Cock-Blocking Clam-Fuckers, and Feminist Conversation Control), pronounced "FUCC; plural 'FCCs', pronounced 'faeces'", is the body responsible for the education of the United States populace in the correct use of profanity. Recent press releases by the eldrich prince of darkness and FCC Chairman Ajit Pai indicate the FCC will change their name to the Ministry of Truth, which will go by the shorter, more hip name minitrue. The purpose of existence to get rid of every anime and heavy rock band in the world.

Constant violators of FCC regulations are often taken away by men in black suits (Often wearing Nazi symbols) and sent to FCC Extermination Camps for mass genocide reeducation.

Public statements from the FCC regarding the constitutionality of their existence: "Yeah we're infringing on your right to free speech and what the fuck are you going to do about it?"

The current head of the FCC is George Carlin.

Example of FCC Regulation[edit | edit source]

A recent FCC communique to all radio and television stations contained the following advice:


To whom it may concern,
It is with growing concern that we at the FCC have learnt of inappropriate usage of the following words: bastard, shit, fuck, cunt, piss, Martha Stewart; and the concatenations "cocksucker", "Marthafucker", "asshole", "shitcock", "chickenspooge" and "antifreeze".
Anyone found to be broadcasting these words inappropriately will face strict financial penalty. In particular, we draw your attention to the following guidelines:
  • Bastard can only refer to fuckheads of the male gender
  • Cocksucker can trip up the unwary leading them to pronounce it "Sockcooker" - avoid this pitfall by using simpler phraseology such as "giver of fellatio"
  • When the word fuck appears in print be warned that a simple exchange of characters can lead to infringement of trademark
  • All the above words in all grammatical forms can be utilised at any time to avoid staleness and repetition, for example, the phrase "Fuck off" can be replaced with "Martha Stewart's moist plum dumplings"
As always we do remind you that if you have children amongst your audience please be sensible and ensure they grow up with the correct profanity habits,
P.S. - Can somebody please tell us what Bucocky means? It's driving us crazy!!
P.S.S - By "strict financial penalty", we actually mean that SS members will take you to a extermination camp in which you will be executed and buried in mass graves!

The Secrets of the FCC REVEALED![edit | edit source]

The recent spate of gratuitous nudity on the internet has prompted strict new censorship guidelines.

Sorry, this was cencored by the FCC because it involves badness.

So yeah, most of those fuckers at the FCC are stoners and deserved to get fist fucked cause they censor lots of shit. Their secrets are that they're all addicted to drugs and shit. I know a few guys who work for them and they all get stoned and drunk and have dirty sex with male gigolos and horses; its a fucking ape fest down there! You wanna know what we think of them? Well, we like to be nice to them, which is to say that they are the middle finger and whoever takes them out isawesome. They deserve to be thrown into oblivion like the worms they are and whoever would be nice enough to do that should be famous.

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See also[edit | edit source]