UnNews:Weeweeitis breaks out in little piggies

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

2 October 2006

The Red Meat, Feel Good campaign connotes health and vitality, and yet this is far from the truth for little piggies.

ANKLE, Leggiland -- Ankle, a small village in the kingdom of Leggiland in Western Europe (not to be confused with Legoland) has become a target of animal welfare activists due to a recent discovery that roast beef is being consumed by little piggies in the area. All meat in animal feed was banned by the Leggilandish government in the 1980s due to the outbreak of Mad Cow Disease in Europe.

"We thought that people had learnt their lesson." stated animal health inspector Reginald Tuquo yesterday. Mr. Foot, the man under speculation, denies he ever fed his pigs roast beef, and instead blames one of his pigs, nicknamed Big Toe, for the scandal. Big Toe, a talking pig (Sus scrofa sapiens), states that he saw the 'Red Meat, Feel Good' promotions on television, and decided to go to the market to get some. "They never mentioned that it was not safe for little piggies on the advert, so how was I supposed to know?" pleads Big Toe. Already, two other little piggies from Mr. Foot's farm have been infected, one is in a severe condition. Anyone who owns little piggies who they suspect of eating roast beef, or show the symptoms of Weeweeitis, such as going "wee wee wee wee wee wee wee wee" all the way home are encouraged to report to the Outbreak Prevention Squad immediately.

Sources

• T. L. Piggie "Threat of disease hurts the pork market" Washington Pork Barrel, October 2, 2006