UnNews:Mel Gibson at heart of government conspiracy
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
27 July 2010
WASHINGTON D. C. -- Accusations of a cover up during the Kennedy administration have surfaced, and at center is none other than the troubled actor and Jesus enthusiast, Mel Gibson.
A collection of notes and memorabilia from the Vietnam War era has been discovered in the attic of a Washington, D. C. home undergoing renovation, the former residence of Robert McNamara, defense secretary under John F. Kennedy and Lyndon B. Johnson and president of the World Bank.
"There's reams of notes, microfiche film[1] and personal correspondence, stacked floor to ceiling," said an eponymous[2] UnNews source. "From what we see, Mr. Gibson was originally conceived and designed as an anti-personnel weapon."
There has been much disagreement among scholars studying the records as to whether Mr. Gibson's anti-semitism and penchant for ranting were specifically requested by the former defense secretary, or by the Kennedys. The brothers are suspected because of links to a plot to drive a wedge between Negroes and Jews during the Civil Rights brouhaha.[3]
In 1774, Gibson was integrated into the camera system of the then top-secret SR-71 spy plane, and, "contributed immeasurably to the fly-over espionage program during the Cold War," according to Maj. Gen. Gunther LeCirque, retired Pentagon special weapons projects manager during the first half of the 1960's.
- ↑ Yes, I know the word "film" is redundant. It's supposed to be funny.
- ↑ Yes, I know the word is used incorrectly. If you still don't get it, consider going to the Teletubbies wiki for something more on your level.
- ↑ During a drunken Democratic dinner, Senator Ted kennedy was overheard to have quoted his brother John, saying "A house divided against itself is easier to run."
