UnNews:'Was Gatsby really great?' asks ninth grader
Saturday, June 29, 2019
Marty Fishman, 14, spoke in Bob Lardass's class about the pre-Depression book and its title character's fate.
"Not only was the book boring as hell," Fishman said, "but if [Jay] Gatsby was so great, why'd he get shot at the end? Why didn't he have a gun? I would have pulled out two AK's and annihilated his ass. It's not like he couldn't afford one."
Mr. Lardass explained that the novel predated assault rifles like the AK-47 by almost a quarter century, and even then, they were used by the Soviets.
"Fair point. But couldn't he at least get his hands on an old-school Remington rifle like they used in the Civil War?"
"He saw no reason to," Lardass lectured him. "He didn't have a single enemy, as far as he knew. Not until it was too late and George Wilson shot him."
"And doesn't Mr. Wilson have better things to do like deliver mail or get annoyed with Dennis?"
"I bet you didn't even read the book."
"Can't argue with that," Lardass resigned. "But you're still getting an F."
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|