Talk:Rape

This is the talk page for discussing improvements to Rape. This is also a forum for spreading libelous rumors about the article's subject. This is not a forum for general discussion about what you did last night. We have the Village Dump for things like that.
Please sign and date your posts by typing four tildes (~~~~). Put new text under old text. Click here to start a new topic. New to Uncyclopedia? Welcome! Ask questions, get answers.	Be Civil Assume Bad Faith Don't Be A Dick No Cyberbullying	Article policies How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid Satirical point of view Verifiability vs. Complete Bollocks

"Wit"

I love the fact that using sarcasm (the lowest form of wit) you've taken the chance to poke fun at 'rape culture' or whatever it feminists refer to it as. What a fucking boring article.

This article is fucking disgusting. It is not funny at all.

Perhaps you should read Preggobear --Mn-z 21:30, August 23, 2011 (UTC)

Joking is one thing, and jesus fucking christ I hope this is a joke, but do it in the privacy of your own home and do not post material on the internet that could be used for legitimate advice. Whoever the sick bastards are that participated in defining rape or have participated in discussion supporting this site are beyond fucked up and should either seek medical attention or fucking kill yourself as you are a waste of oxygen. I wish I knew the names of all the men supporting this site as i would soon begin a male raping spree (including several foreign objects being shoved into each of your asses until you bled out of your mouths) ending each session by cutting your dick and balls off and after violating each of you with your own sexual organs i would either throw your dicks in the river or feed them to your dog, or maybe keep your dick to feed to the next victim, hmm...

That's hawt.

Anyway, if you want to see what real standardlessness looks like, go see Encyclopedia Dramatica (Website) --Mnb'z 06:10, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

Too many quotes guys. Prolix 20:46, 2 November 2006 (UTC)

just wanted to say this site is cool. other sites deal with the rape page so..insanely. you guys actually put some good stuff in. wooo.

Thank ye Prolix 07:00, 2 December 2006 (UTC)

added the Kurt Cobain quote. thought it was pretty funny. feel free to delete if you disagree. note: for those of you who arent into nirvana, i didnt make that up to make fun of him. its actually from one of his songs.migueltherocker 10:07 1 September 2008

Someone should consider taking the word "need" in "Women need rape." and putting it in italics, to create emphasis.

From Pee Review

I'm probably making this wrong. Meh. Prolix 20:06, 5 November 2006 (UTC)

/me fix. Yes, you did. No idea how to improve your page, by the way...it's tough to make something based around that word funny.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:22, 5 November 2006 (UTC)

I think that's a bit unfair. It's by no means a bad article - I like the bits about luring the reader into the alleyway etc. It does need a bit more work - maybe a bit more variety instead of the entire article revolving around those two jokes. Could try expanding the later sections too, and remove the redlinks. -- 23:03, 5 November 2006 (UTC)

My apologies. I wasn't meaning to be unfair; I meant that I have no idea how to make it better. I felt I had to leave some sort of comment after fixing the formatting here, or I'd appear to be some sort of Pee Review lurker.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:23, 5 November 2006 (UTC)

But you only mentioned one joke... Prolix 23:10, 5 November 2006 (UTC)

Um, yeah, sorry, twas late at night.  :*D
The two jokes = the one about luring the reader and the one about the person asking for it. -- 07:27, 6 November 2006 (UTC)

Oh man. This is a tough problem in tastelessness. But we managed a front-page-worthy job on Niggers, after all. Hmm. - David Gerard 12:07, 9 November 2006 (UTC)

Just read the article. I agree that adressing the reader in the first person trying to lure her / him into a rape-like situation is a gimmick. However, the other parts are like loose sand and not particularly funny. I would concentrate on the "surprise sex" eufemism. Addition to rape in particular settings: not paying the prostitute for services rendered is technically considered rape in Dutchland. Also, maybe digging up the roots of the word "rape" (or pretending to) would add some mock scientific overtones. And I would seriously advise you to leave out the "she was asking for it" argument. Although we Uncyclopedians know that this page is satire, all kinds of morons eventually get to read the page, don't realize it is satire and see their distorted views affirmed in writing. Which is what we don't want to happen, because morons are morons and rape is a hideous thing, no matter what the circumstances. -- di Mario 22:54, 15 November 2006 (UTC)

I added three sections, Terminology, What To Do If You've Been Raped, and If Your Friend's Been Raped. I also removed the orgins section cuz it was stupid. Let me know what you think. Prolix 05:49, 20 November 2006 (UTC)

Factual entries?

Since when is this Wikipedia? Why is the "if you've been raped" section factual and serious? It's a clash with the rest of the article (and the rest of every other article). 68.34.170.75 20:14, 28 March 2007 (UTC)

Famous Rapists?

Should we have a section in there... That Guy with a Pyramid on his head is a famous rapist so it Bill Clinton etc

Lists are bad. -Prolix 14:08, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

Ways to get Raped

You can go to the "Bad Part Of Town," talk to Kobie Bryant, go to Prison, or call me [666-123-rape]. If you do not succeed the first time, try again, getting raped takes practice, and most people do not get it on the first try. If you hare having trouble getting raped, try to contact you nearest plastic surgeon and ask for beautifying treatments or try moving to LA. You can also try to meet with convicted rapists and "turn them on." If you are a minor, you can find a pedophile, or call me [(please do].

boys will be boys

You might consider adding a few new rapist profiles to your article. Vaginas are rape tools too. Here (http://www.porkdisco.com/so.html) are a few lovely ladies to get your creative juices flowing. 128.111.95.47 01:08, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

What To DO If You Have Been Raped

Wait... It says that you shouldn't shower for fear of the police not being able to identify the rapist... BUT it says not to go to the police for 2 weeks to give time to cope with trauma. That would mean not showering for TWO weeks!! Stuff would start to dry up and get hard and itchy, and that would be pretty gross... especially for the next Rapist.

-CKlayoka

Using boat to chase victims

Rape was a popular subject in Finnish Mythology. (Väinämöinen A.K.A. Santa Claus attempts rape. The attempt fails and Santa drowns.)

I had nothing to do with this mess, I swear Evil-Santa 18:05, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

Abstinent Rape

We should probablly consider putting in something about how Abstinents Rape. Because they're people to!

Not funny

This is immoral and hurtful; whoever wrote this is a sick fuck.

Well, that is what we aim for around here, immorality, hurtfulness, and sick-fuckery. --Mnbvcxz 06:47, 22 January 2009 (UTC)

Watch Out

EDs trying to rape us with their unfunnyness.--User:Gumbal1 00:30, 20 July 2009 (UTC)

This is the most pathetic, demeaning, illegal, and immoral thing I have ever come across. Rape is a very serious problem in America today, and one of the most serious crimes against women that can be committed. Yet you are mocking it and saying that a woman is 'asking for it,' the usual response of a rapist. Every single one of you disgust me more than I can say. You think it's funny to make fun of a hideous crime? I don't care what you call me in the slightest. You can make sad attempts at snarking me, for all I care. But think about what I've said.

I really don't

Like this rewrite. It was better when it was written in the style of the subject. --Scofield & Dudes 12:01, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

I really don't

Know what you're getting at. --EMC ^[TALK] 21:49 Jul 26 2011

Raping young boys - a cultural significance and biological need

This article is too female-centristic and lacks the important perspective of the raping of young boys. In many a culture it is said that in order for a boy to become a man, there is a need of a older man ”juicing up” (raping the rear of) said boy. The old Greeks, negro tribes in africa, and many others have known and practiced this. --JackNorth 01:37, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

Our expert on pedastery is hard at work doing field research for this article. --EMC ^[TALK] 16:22 Jul 8 2012

Tongue Twister! How much rape could a rapist rape if a rapist raped a rapist?

Contributing to this article = contributing to rape

We keep getting baseless complaints about this article. My position is thus: Any suggestion that Uncyclopedia might be culpable for any acts influenced by a gross misinterpration of our content is an insulting and irresponsible diversion of blame away from rapists to an entertainment website. Such comments suggest that the rapist is somehow not entirely responsible for his own actions and do much more harm in prolonging rape myths and stereotypes than any article which parodies and satirizes such stereotypes. --EMC ^[TALK] 16:58 Jul 10 2012

Your post portrays part of the problem - it comes across as though rapists are some sort of rare class of people, like murders. Let me tell you my experience. I've been in sexual situations with 11 guys since I got divorced. Of them, probably around six of them were put into a situation where I said "no" to something they were wanting to do to me. Four actually did respect the no. One raped me. Another fingered me for around 10 seconds while I was telling him over and over to stop and trying to push him out before I finally succeeded. So that's like 1 1/2 instances out of a sample size of six. That's a Big Damn Problem for me. And it's not just me. It's disturbing the percentage of my friends who confessed to me what happened to them. After I told my younger sister, I found out that she's the only woman in my immediate family now who *hasn't* been raped. Surveys show 1/4 of women will be raped in their lifetime. Overwhelmingly they will not report it to the police.

Rape is usually nothing like the Hollywood image of it. It's not some paranoid schizophrenic hiding in the bushes with a knife. Most rapes are date rapes. Now, you may know that on a conscious level, but here's the aspect that you probably haven't thought of. This means that you not only knew the person, at least at an acquiantance level, but you probably even liked him to some degree (maybe even a lot). And the fact that there is rarely a "pull out a knife" moment makes it all the harder to get out of the circumstance, why people don't try to scream or run until it's too late. Even while my rapist had literally picked me up and was carrying me to his apartment because I kept stopping and trying to turn around while we were walking on the street, I just couldn't conceive that he was not at some point going to start listening to my "no"s. He played it off like a game. He remained flirty and even "friendly" throughout the whole ordeal, except for the one little detail that he simply would not accept no for an answer. He seemed to have no particular interest in hurting me, just in f***ing me regardless of my opinion on the subject. He even asked me afterwards "Was it good for you?" and all that crap. Like it was just a date.

When people talk about "rape culture", it's because when something is this common, when people behave like this so often, it's simply impossible to credit it to there being just an occasional crazy nutjob out there. These people are people you know, maybe even among your close friends. These are ordinary people by most other regards, and they're extremely common, because there's no other way to explain the high incidence rate for rape. There's not just five guys out there raping a quarter of the women in the world. If you think the term "rape culture" is loaded, then pick whatever term you want for it, but the situation is what it is. And it's hard to reach any other conclusion after you've seen it firsthand than that there's a societal problem involved here. And when you see so many guys making fun of rape and laughing at rape, it's hard to reach any other conclusion than this is making a not-irrelevant percentage of them think that overstepping bounds is okay, so long as it's not like in some Hollywood movie.

Really, I don't know what to do about this article. It exists. It's going to keep existing, because someone's always going to want to make it. But it's a topic you really need to be careful about.

-- Some Kind Of Icy Feminist Harpy Who Doesn't Have A Sense Of Humor Or Something Like That (talk) 10:39, September 14, 2012 (UTC)

... and while we're being educational, might as well add another thing. There's these notions that if the woman doesn't fight her attacker and then run screaming half naked and bleeding through the street to the police station, then she "wasn't really raped".

In terms of physical stats, the difference between the average woman and the average man is pretty major. If you extend the differences using the average man as a baseline and the perpetrator with the same ratios as exist between men and women, the perpetrator would be slightly leaner, slightly taller, and able to bench approximately the same amount of weight as the average NFL linebacker. To put yourself in the victim's shoes, tell me how comfortable you would be picking a fight with the average NFL linebacker. Want to be just raped or beaten up and *then* raped? Now to put yourself further in her shoes, factor out any testosterone-driven "response aggression against all odds" you might be envisioning on your part, and instead picture being someone who is neither hormonally nor socially conditioned for fighting, as most women are. Then factor in the above-mentioned issues of how date-rape plays out in the real-world, where you knew and possibly even liked the perpetrator before the event.

Then there's the aftermath. Every victim's reaction is different. Some really admirable few both come to terms with it immediately and are willing to go to the police and stand up to what they know will come if they report it - being visciously smeared as "some jealous slut trying to ruin an innocent man's life", with little chance of an actual conviction. This is, however, not the situation for most people. For most, it takes a long time to even come to terms and accept what happened. You're in shock when it happens. You generally go through the moves afterward, not sure how to react. I even let my rapist walk me back to my car. In the aftermath, some try not to think about it and just put it in the past. Some even pretend it never happened. Above all, you don't want to see yourself as a victim, as having been victimized - that's so hard to accept. I've known multiple people who even started dating their rapist, just to try to make what happened seem less like rape (if they consent to sleeping with them later, then it's like their earlier lack of consent didn't matter... it's twisted logic, but it's what goes through your mind as you try to rationalize it). Blaming yourself is ubiquitous, of course. Very common in the aftermath also is sleeping with anyone who wants to sleep with you, even if you don't want to, because hey, if you don't refuse consent then you can't be raped again, right? Again, twisted logic, and it can be overcome, but that's how the fear plays out.

It's so hard to see yourself as a victim. Think of it this way. A person walks out into a parking lot to where they know they parked their car. Only their car isn't there. It's objectively obvious that their car has been stolen, but how do they react? You know very well that the first thing they'll assume is, "I must have been wrong, I must have parked somewhere else" - even though they know right where they parked. Then they search and search, even places that aren't even close to where they remember parking. They may even begin to question whether they drove there in the first place.

Here we're just talking about having your car stolen. Not having sex forced against you without your consent.

So yeah, it's very difficult to come to terms with. -- The Same Humorless Slut Derailing A Perfectly Good Rape Joke As Posted Above (talk) 11:12, September 14, 2012 (UTC)

Lastly, one final addendum: in nothing that I wrote above, where the perpetrator is presented as male and the victim as female, do I mean to demean the 9% of rape victims who are men or absolve the 1% of attackers who are female - anything but that. I was just using the most common case and also the one I can speak to from personal experience. -- Ditto (talk) 11:21, September 14, 2012 (UTC)

I had my car stolen once. I called my partner, who was out with friends, and they suggested I check out the rest of the parking lot where it was stolen from. I wondered why they thought someone would have stolen my car just to park it elsewhere.

This article is a tough article. And not in that it's daring or controversial, but that it's a fucker to actually write about rape and make it funny. Satire, as a general rule, is about seeing the stupid inherit in social mores and values and bringing it to the fore. And societal attitudes towards rape - and especially towards rape victims - is insanely stupid. That's what this article does. It is dark humour, but it doesn't claim to be otherwise.

As for your experiences - nothing I can say is in any way adequate to express my despair. Of course, give me five minutes alone with him and I can guarantee he wouldn't do it again. Or pee standing up. Nominally Humane! 11:44 14 Sep

Indeed, I really don't know what the right solution is for this article. I'm not sure there is one. It's possible to do humor related to anything, and I know it's possible to do humor related to rape right. Heck, even Dane Cook of all people has told a good rape-related joke - [1]. It's just a tough line to walk, though. When something like 1 in 15 people reading/hearing the joke have already been raped, and many more are close to people who have, it's kind of like telling a 9/11-related joke a couple blocks from the WTC memorial. Technically possible, but you have to be careful. -- Rei (talk) 14:14, September 14, 2012 (UTC)

Funny...

This article is funny. I prefer a slightly more deadpan style to the "kid" author, but I guess a mix of both might work nicely. Has anyone actually checked that the phone number is still what we want? I'm not ringing it... Not again! MrN 01:04, Mar 8

almost an FA. I'm not sure about the latter sections. Maybe a few more edits needed... MrN 05:08, Mar 10