Talk:Lebanon

Improving upon emptiness

Doesn't it suck to have an empty talk page? Worry no more! Lestat 13:18, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

Please don't waste talk pages like that. 13:21, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

Don't worry, there's plenty to go round! • Spang • ☃ • talk • 01:21, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

Wizardry

Text removed from article

Lebanon is the birthplace of a well known wizard that goes by the human name of Michel Hayek. Apart from possessing ancient voodoo that allows him to see the future in forms of vague sentences, Hayek is also capable of mass propaganda and making extra crispy French Fries. It's customary in Lebanon for Hayek do deliver his messages from the future after each complete cycle the earth does around the sun. Among the many things that were foreseen in Hayek's visions:

• The collapse of the roman empire
• Birth of Jesus Christ
• Death of Jesus Chris
• Rise of Satan (*spoiler alert* who's later revealed to be Hayek's father)
• The eventuality that some random stoned dude from lebanon to poke fun at his powers on uncyclopedia
• Termninator 6
• The Big Bang

Discussion

why is this part not allowed ? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Mezin (talk • contribs)

I can't speak for Dexter111344, who reverted this, but the first part is random, the second part is a style that we refer to as list-cruft, and the entire section is about a person who has no article in Wikipedia. If you didn't merely write a wacky commentary about yourself, there is no way anyone else can tell. If you do know something about Lebanon that relates to what anyone else would know, please try again to make fun of it. Spıke ¬ 11:41 4-May-10

Recent contributions from in-country

by Yehyehyeh

RabbiTechno compliments Yehyehyeh on his writing skills in today's edit to the article, but I'm not so happy. It introduces red-links, bizarre use of ALL CAPITALS, nonsense numbers, and humor genres we refer to as "Wacky War" and "Randumbo" when considering whether to delete articles entirely. The section on Genetics amplifies the verbiage without amplifying the humor and I'm thinking about a total revert of this section. But Yehyehyeh does seem to have an understanding of the local situation that other recent editors can't match. Spıke ¬ 18:54 27-May-10

I think I'm inclined to agree with you, actually. Yehyehyeh's first change to EMC's previous version was good despite the red links (which any of us could have cleared up) but the subsequent edits were, perhaps, not so great. If you want to revert, it's fine by me. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:57, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

I have reverted most of the new directions evidently coded for the benefit of Lebanese; retained some of his new stuff on the Lebanese Flag, and tightened up some of the material in the article before I arrived; also removed some red-links. Spıke ¬ 22:23 27-May-10

And I have now re-reverted. ChiefjusticeDS did so, then thought better of intervening in an edit war. Lebanon at the start of this week was a general overview designed to entertain non-Lebanese with a basic understanding of the country's foundation, and also of the recent Hezbollah-Israel War that Lebanon was good enough to host. The additions by Yehyehyeh, as well as botching English, grammar, and style (which I could and would fix), are littered with Arabic terms and acronyms that either appeal exclusively to those in Lebanon, or perhaps exclusively to this editor. Spıke ¬ 23:39 28-May-10

by Taltamees

Now comes Taltamees with a change summary, "Stop Anti Lebanese racism on Uncyclopedia, is it not enough that Lebanon was occupied for 22 years by the israeli terrorists?" Grow up. I can't speak for other editors, but I live in the northeast US and have absolutely no dog in the Mid-east dogfight, and I don't take kindly to being called a racist. And this change summary was used to justify the reinsertion, among other things, of drivel such as, "a man was seen juggling two cats and a pie using his feet....Later, the Martians, tired of grokking the old Fifth Planet, sued Lebanon for genocide of their own race." In fact, to restore most or all of a previous version, ignoring the complaints above, including a See Also to the deleted Statecraft.

I agree with the Chief (see the Change History) that you should reply here to justify these changes, or face someone's wrath. The orientation of this page is and should be readers in the English-speaking world--necessarily mostly outside Lebanon. By the way, Taltamees inserted [[fr:Liban]]--no problem, I'll reinsert it now--and deleted the link to the Hebrew version. Who's conducting a race war here? Spıke ¬ 12:35 29-May-10

A Lebanese Point of View

(Please not that the following lines are not intended to make you laugh)

Hi, allow me to introduce myself, I am a Lebanese who has lived all the syrian and israeli terrorist wars on Lebanon, and I used to enjoy reading the edits on this page, until it started insulting my country in a way that can be only directed by those who did shed the blood of my brothers, I did not intend to participate to this discussion, everyone has the right to express himself, until I read the following comment

 "but I live in the northeast US and have absolutely no dog in the Mid-east dogfight, and I don't take kindly to being called a racist" 

which was written, So , as I understand, by an American taxpayer, which means, it was written by a person who's money is financing the daily blood shed of my family, and the worst is that he says he doesn't give a damn about the lives is killing.

Dear Sir, lebanon was occupied by israel from 1978 to 2000 and the US (representing its taxpayers) refused and vetoed the liberation of Lebanon, and it financed directly the "murder machine of israel", all the churchs of south Lebanon were destryed by american weapons (since israel's main aim was to empty Lebanon from its christians and replace them with palestinians).

We had to work hard in order to free our land from the terrorism of the american financed israelis; and this happened not long ago, a 10 years old boys remembers it well, and all the "jokes" or "Satires" or whatever you describe in the current contents of this page are really harmfull and disrispectfull to every Lebanese person (specially those who have lost a family member in this war), who can reach this page as much as any english speaker (since all the Lebanese persons speak 3 languages starting at 5 years of age), so I think Lebanese pesrons should be allowed to edit this page as much as the terrorists who occupied their land for 22 years in the last 30 years. Yes Gentelmen, the comments on this page are racist, and they are not innocent jokes , they are anti Lebanese jokes, specially that they are praising the crimes of a terrorist regime that commited more than 50 genocides during its occupation of the Land of Lebanon User:Ibnelard

The following response is not meant to make you laugh either: The one thing I like less than being called a racist is being called a murderer. The reason I pay taxes to the United States is not that I have chosen that the Israeli Defense Forces are preferable to Jihadists. The reason is that I wish to avoid going to jail. I bear no personal responsibility for US foreign policy.

I hope you never write content here, as your goal is obviously not amusement but to play out some racial destiny in a blood-feud. Take your ridiculous accusations and your guilt trips to some other Web site. Spıke ¬ 19:27 30-May-10

Dear Sir, my nation was occupied by the israelis, the israeli soldiers were on the Lebanese Soil, we had to fight them out, our national resistance is not a Jihad, Jihad an islamic fumdementalism, our resitance started with Christians who refused the israeli occupation, please don't call them jihadists, 50 % of Lebanon are christians, we were 75 % of the population before the israelis killed the most of us in south Lebanon. Sir you insult my national resistance by calling them a jihadist, an occupied nation has the right to defend itself, for God's sakes, after 9/11 you occupied two nations (Afghanistan and Iraq) and your policticians you are paying are still looking for weapons of mass destruction. Sir you choose to back the terrorist israeli defense forces, while the United Nations ( get it all the Nations, United) rejected the israeli terrorism with more than 50 resolutions, the israeli soldiers who tried to sell nuclear weapons to the apartheid regime of south africa, Hello ! You are choosing to remove christianity from the middle east !User:Ibnelard

Excuse me, but you are trying to spread political propaganda on a humor website. The content is NOT meant to be taken seriously, and your comments would be better left on another website. —Pelozurian (talk) 20:21, 30 May 2010 (UTC)

Thank you Paizuri for your reply, I will respond no more on this webpage, but to clarify , my aim was in no way to make a political propaganda, I was just pointing out that a Lebanese personwho reads those pages won't find them funny but rather insulting and offensive. All the best . Ibnelard.

Hello everyone, look at it this way. A man walks into a doctor's surgery and pokes at his arm and says "It hurts when I do this", the doctor responds "Don't do that then". The practical upshot being: if this page offends you then don't look at it, it's the same reason I don't spend my time looking at goatse, it doesn't appeal to me. Why not read this instead? The author is an absolutely spiffing bloke. Also, anyone persisting in stating opinions should know that a baby seal is clubbed to death for every post you make, oh and it will get you blocked. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 20:32, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

MY OPINION IS THAT CHIEF IS BAD FOR WHORING HIS ARTICLES AND BEING VAIN A CONCERNED USER

I think I should get a prize for being able to no respond to this interesting debate. ~ 21:20, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

The Unbalanced Chief

Let us all calm down, and take a look at this travesty, Chief says: "if this page offends you then don't look at it" i.e. I am allowed to offend you, insult you, and you must tolerate my insults and then he continues : "Also, anyone persisting in stating opinions should know that a baby seal is clubbed to death for every post you make, oh and it will get you blocked." Now let us look at this paragraph from the blocked article: "At the moment, Lebanon is operated by the Hezbollah band of terrorists, with financial backing from Iran, for the sole purpose of tweaking the nose of Israel and crying to the U.N. when Israel returns fire."

Now this is a pure "political statement" and a clear "israeli opinion" that is in no way a joke but an israeli point of view propaganda, since it is the current political debate that is about the israelis publishing the wrong data about the arab israeli conflict, yet this "political statement" is still present on the "Lebanon page" despite the big words of the mighy double standered chief, what next chief? will be join the terrorists in drinking the blood of the children of Gaza ........ ? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Barbaragha (talk • contribs)

Yes. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:19, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

That's an opinion, Paizuri. You will die.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 01:54, May 31 2010 UTC

I suppose that's what happens when you let religion run a country, eh? Especially those Islamic ones. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:59, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

Barbaragha, in the matter of the clubbing of a baby seal, you have shown that you lack any sense of humor, as your cohorts don't either.

In the matter of "the Hezbollah band of terrorists," it is demonstrably not an "Israeli opinion" as I am no Israeli. But I grant you this: the assertion might be made funnier by being less true. I'll see what I can do with this.

And now, we should part company. You don't want to read anything that ridicules Lebanon (as an article on Lebanon on a humor web site must and always will--You should see the treatment I gave my own U.S. state). And the rest of us don't want this drama. Spıke ¬ 02:25 31-May-10

What Spike said, also Barbaragha, you are banned, but nobody else is; Double standards in action. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 08:14, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

EDITING?

This article is great. But it saddens me to see that we can't edit it anymore. It might benefit from some humorous updates on Lebanese Politics. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Wanitto (talk • contribs)

Registered users, which you seem to be, can do so. What is it, 3 days the system takes to be sure you are real? Spıke ¬ 23:32 6-May-12

oh right! thanks. I'll work on it in June. Wanitto (talk)