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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to France.
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WHAT HAPPENED? the last article was so much better........ this one isn't as funny – Preceding unsigned comment added by (talk • contribs)

I am sorry you don’t like this version, it is still undergoing work – this is HOMOSEXUAL BASTARDS the nature of re writes, the old one could be resurrected in the same way as Oscar Wilde (where you have the old one as a subpage). The old one was unanimously a bit of a mess and didn’t really conform to the idea of the site. I hope you come around and maybe after while you might get used to this one :) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 11:28, 30 September 2008 (UTC)
It seems like this article is more like a wikipedia article made more sarcastic rather than an actual funny article. 03:42, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
That's kind of the idea... — Sir Sycamore (talk) 08:27, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
As a Frenchman (with all that implies), I have to say that I find the current one funnier and more accurate. ;) Of course, it can get better, but the previous one was essentially a rehash of anglo-saxon clichés about France. Pucktard 19:55, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
Thank you so much:) - I really like French stuff, I really tried to capture the country, whilst taking the piss — Sir Sycamore (talk) 19:57, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
You're welcome, Monsieur. :) I think a country infobox could be nice, though. On the other hand, if you want to add some additional info (names of ridiculous places, current social issues, etc.) and think I can help, feel free to ask. Some stuff about our current president and his model-singer wife could be fun. The only irritating thing for me is the mention of the mimes (heck, street artists in Paris DO NOT LOOK ANYMORE like Marcel Marceau !) but I guess that was inevitable. Pucktard 20:18, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
I tried to aim at being stripped back and accesible at the moment - its doing OK on VFH and pee - I'm keen to let it either pass or fail VFH before making any drastic changes, afterword though.... :) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 20:26, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
No problem, I'll keep my hands off the article for the moment. I was just trying to correct some misconceptions (i.e., the French provinces are far for being small) but, after all, we aren't on wikipedia. ;) 20:51, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
A lot of the humour is in misconceptions, it would be pretty crap if a Scottish guy wrote a France article like a Frenchman and vice versa - Its a question of adding some old jokes for the less gifted users and adding some smart stuff that a wider audeince can enjoy - adding to much detail/templates etc will weaken this:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 21:00, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
No problem. I was just a bit puzzled because the French provinces are in no way small. However, I can testify that most of these places are utterly boring to live in. :) Anyway, I guess it would be the same thing if a Frenchman wrote an article about the Scottish all being greedy kilt-wearing alcoholics. ;) I'd like to keep the mention of the civil servants, but I'll stick to that for the moment. Pucktard 21:09, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

1st Pee Review[edit]

Humour: 9 Ouch, ouch ouch! Even the glorious spitefulness with which you ladle out your piping hot Insult Du Jour is hilarious. It's not crammed full of jokes as you said and I think this helps. The thing that works for me is that on the surface, it resembles a normal article about France. That you've avoided the obvious stereotypes ('Surrender', et al) is to your credit, but I still noticed the "Give up at the first attempt" line - which was funny. The "Surprising clean" comment was a corker. I don't want to go on about how funny I found it as I fear your head will grow unfathomably large and that will never do. Put simply, it was funny enough to make a Frenchman laugh.
Concept: 9 It's a clever concept. And who doesn't enjoy knocking the French? In fact, there is only one thing better than knocking the French and that's reading about someone else knocking the French.
Prose and formatting: 10 Aside from one or two speling mitskaes (intentional), the prose is faultless. Readable, neatly laid out, accessible. The writing comes across as educated with a nice undercurrent of irreverence. It is exactly the type of article that belongs in an antithesis of Wikipedia.
Images: 9 I loved the Absinthe advert its caption. But aside from that, the basically generic images you used were ideal as they didn't draw too much attention away from the text. You could benefit from shrinking the 1st image a few px.
Miscellaneous: 9.3 Overall, excellent. Worthy of feature status.
Final Score: 46.3 Basically I loved it. But I'm worried if that means I have given you a useless review. It's not a very constructive one, I grant you, but praise where praise is due. Oh what the hell, it's not everyday this site throws up an article this enjoyable. I just hope that others share my view.
Reviewer: Geoffprickett 20:46, 29 September 2008 (UTC)

Definitely not Funny[edit]

This is another article that is just a collection of insults. It seems that this Sycamore character thinks he is Eddie Izzard but isn't.( Anonymous User)

That is a bit harsh.

It is funny in parts even if it is rehashing some very tired old clichés like body hair shaving, personal hygiene, and intellectual snobbery.

Ironically it is the latter which pervades the tone of the writing and the rarefied exchanges here between the main author and its fans. If one is to interpret their chat correctly it is attempting to also be a post modern in-joke about clichéd ways of describing that country.

Such articles can fall into the trap, as this one does a lot, of too slavishly cramming in as many reference links to other Uncyclopedia pages as possible, and at the same time trying to be too close to a Wikipedia entry.

The article suffers from those aims and is a drier and more sterile piece than it might be, becoming an exercise in joining up the dots between the blue-lettered links.

Phrases such as "to be the blame" and "intervention of the corruption" and "formally consisted" may or may not be deliberate Franglais or broken english attempts at wit or may simply be grammar or language errors. I suspect the main writer may not be a native english speaker.

The scumhole/pimping/smeared shit/fourth dimension humour is more Beavis and Butthead than Lacan and Sartre but there are some lovely little touches like the fake quotes and the potted mock school essay history segments.

What is funnier than the article is the hovering revert team guarding it like an Israeli gunboat off Gaza determined not to let any aid through. The "How to:Be French" article is more earthy and accesible.-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 13:04, August 27, 2010 (UTC)

I'd like to know why the many minor changes I made to this article were summarily reverted? For example in the 1st sentence, I changed "Republique francais" to "La Republique Francais". If someone is so precious about their article that they can't stand even a revision like that, then it's as if they feel they own it. My 1st reaction is "screw you, I'll move on". Where's the joy in clinging to a misspelled misnomer?Blind Pugh 06:36, July 27, 2011 (UTC)

Not funny[edit]

I don't care what you decide, Sycamore. I don't even give a fuck about what the review said. This article is JUST NOT FUNNY. I insist on at least putting back Sarkozy's face and "non mais putain de gros con" jokes. And do it without you always reverting all my edits please (feels like wtf am I just wasting my time editing this or what, you know).

Who's with me? Shadiac 07:07, 18 October 2008 (UTC)

This is a featured article - not my personal rampage against "lulz", the community as a whole voted this on the front page, and this is regarded as being an intelligent satire of the France. I am willing to comprimise by having the old France article as subpage which is linked at the top like Oscar Wilde - this means that you can have the old version kept for you to view anytime. With regards to your reverting Do not revert to the old version again. Thank you for your interest.--Sycamore (Talk) 09:09, 18 October 2008 (UTC)
Okay, I see your point. But let me tell you that I completely disagree with it. And you know why? Because humour is not something you can apply rules to. While ones will find fart jokes funny, the other ones prefer this kind of fucked-nated satire that you first has to know about before finding it funny (which, by the time, you would not because by the time you understand the meaning, the humour would be gone from your head). And the thing that frustrates me the most, you write "Please don't put quotes, templates or other shit". It's as if you were comparing quotes and templates, which are sometime quite humorous, to the fart jokes, which just makes me sad. And you overprotect this article, which is something that should be forbidden to do by the rules of Uncyclopedia. You know, I really wish one day, when I won't be busy doing more important stuff, I would come here, just to teach you a lesson, and write stupid stuff, save it and enter an edit war with you until ban do us apart. So that you would understand that Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia, which by the way, is a more important rule that the HTBFANJS guideline (guideline!)
With all due respect, Shadiac 22:40, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
Is your hope to get into an edit-war anything like OJ's book, "If I did it"? If you had the time you would edit-war? I'm not sure if following OJ's lead is ever the smart thing to do though. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 22:56, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
lol... I sense another one of those "always right Americans", meddling their runny nose into affairs of others, plus this quotation with OJ. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? You're just saying crap. And of course if I could, I would. And I shall. Once I will have time. Because you people just don't get it, do you? You always want to have this witty humour around, and all straightened out. And you have no life. I do, because I don't spend time in the internet rewriting every stupid thing into a witty remark. This is ridiculous. Shadiac 04:07, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

The official symbols, mottos and heroine of France[edit]

Big Mama, Pagan Goddess of the Perverted French and the official mascot of the French People's Socialist Republic of Frenchies.

When you go to France, you'll notice the "Republique Francaise" the Frenchie word for "our nation, divisible and has no liberty or justice zest vall" has a symbol of your typical fat, hairy and smelly French "Heroine" (not the drug): Marianne. She's the most celebrated woman in France (except for Coco Chanel) Marianne was adopted by the L'Revolution de zee Frenchie peeple, non? sometime after 1789. Since the French are "nominally" Catholics who practice atheism and with their perverse fondness for what Americans call ugliness, fetishism and just plain weird: Marianne is a pagan goddess, a bloated pregnant woman on a bear rug on her fours and with her incredible unattractiveness the French men are fond for, she symbolizes how the French are typically...messed up. +

I did think of adding something along those lines. However when it was featured, I think most agreed that the article was pretty good and avoided being too "obvious" whihc was a major impirvemt on the last version. I doubt it would fit in well there:)--Sycamore (Talk) 14:38, 3 December 2008 (UTC)


France was also, along with Germany, the #1 exporter of European Disco music in the 70's. Some French disco performers included the Gibson Brothers, Patrick Hernandez, Cerrone, Space, etc... 19:05, 30 December 2008 (UTC)

Space is not disco, btw. It's space rock electronica derivative. And moreover, disco was invented in the USA. Read Wikipedia =)
Shadiac 04:10, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

economic entry[edit]

Where the fuck is the economic entry? Screw you unfunny guys! But luv u for ur effort.

I have tried my best to return the article to how it was before the stupid picture was put there.

the "economic entry" is taking her to McDonalds on the first date before you shag her.-- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 15:33, August 29, 2010 (UTC)

Frozen Piss[edit]

I wanted to start an entirely new article, entitled "Frozen Piss", but I wasn't sure about the sub-category, when in a flash of genius I thought of "France". I hope you guys with more expertise could get this going. It's really important. The article should include the related topic, "yellow snow", and of course, the influence of frozen mouse piss in the French wine, cuisine, and parfum industries (i.e. "toilet water" which was invented by the French).


Why on earth is there nothing about France's fine military?! Hucklebur (talk) 09:17, April 29, 2012 (UTC)

Because it would devolve into jokes about "cheese-eating surrender monkeys", which, while it is a fine, round-sounding phrase with an impeccable pedigree, has been somewhat driven into the Earth. And is also somewhat false. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-us.pngSun, Apr 29 '12 11:15 (UTC)