Porilainen

Sand.

Porilainen, also known in English as "I don't speak Spanish?", is a type of Finnish burger-like sand ehich, usually made with sand on one side, a slice of fresh shit in the middle, and more sand. The sand is usually compressed into an actual consumable solid.

History

The History of the Porilainen is very simple: it came from the city of Porn Pori. It is usually consumed by masturbators master baiters (or Finnish fishermen/women)...wait. Is...is this entire fucking script JUST references to porn? PAUL! WE CAN'T JUST YAP ABOUT PORN! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOME SUBSTANCE! NOT PORN JOKES!

What do you mean you're being serious?

Shit.

Okay, so it is in fact originating in the Finnish city of...Porn...and is consumed by those with a porn addiction...and...it...Paul, I can't do this. What do you mean I'm fired?

Uh..so the Pornilainen is a type of sandwich from Porn, Finland. You know that. It also happens to be commonly consumed by people with a porn addiction as a punishment for being so horny all the time. It was invented by Finnish atheists in 1950 AD, just after WW2 ended and...great...Hitler...Paul what the fuck? We can't be Nazis! You can't just fire me!

Sand.

Okay fine, I give up, I'll just read the next section MYSELF.

Preparing a Porilainen

Firstly, you must gather piles of sand. Although uncommon in inland Finland (hey, that rhymed!), it is possible to obtain sand on its beaches.

Secondly, you must gather piles of shit, which can be purchased at local dealerships with ease, at least in Russia. You could also just get it out of toilets.

And thirdly, you need to shove your sand and shit together into something that "resembles" a sandwich, and then eat it.

Cultural importance

In Finland, the Porilainen is important to...nobody except all the atheist retards that jerk off to everything (and would probably fuck a robot, though I would as well).

Yeah there's not much on this, it's barely even known outside Finland. Shoulda made this on Finnishcyclopedia.