KCIS

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A group of students after serving their ten years in KCIS.

The Institution of KCIS (Kill Children In School) is a building in China that was built in 1995. It specialises in trapping people in their institution for the sole reason of causing as much pain to the victims of their onslaught.

Methodical trapping of victims

The trapping of children begins with a phone call where a random non-straight person calls many house numbers until they find a child that is currently in a public school. They then proceed to advertise their schools 100% pregnancy rates to the child. The child will then either swear at the gay (or lesbian?) person calling, and hang up, or will be brainwashed by their desire to be in a school with 100% pregnancy rates, in which then a courier will send them a package with a contract containing very large text saying "100% PREGNANCY RATES IN KCIS!"

If the child was stupid enough to believe that there were really 100% pregnancy rates there and signs the contract, a helicopter will break open their roof and trap them in a cage made of unobtainium, making their institution one of the few things on earth that has access to unobtainium. The helicopter with a cage attached to it will then fly off to KCIS where the child will spend the next 10 years of their life at.

Surviving in KCIS

After being dropped off at a random location in the school, the new student will either be found by survivor scouts or immediately be captured by the teachers and possibly raped in the containment zone and then immediately get deported to hell. If the student is lucky enough to found, however, they will be guided to The Hub by surviving students which is the main area of the survivors outpost. They will be checked in and then will be geared and given instructions on what to do, which usually includes losing on of their 5 senses, most notably their sense of taste.

The teachers in this school are the main reason why the school is so dangerous, because they bear the appearance of a regular teacher in school, but are much faster and stronger, and are fixated on any student on sight. The teachers are also significantly more resilient, to the point where they could be marked as an SCP, which is why it is recommended to stick to large communities.

When clocks strike 8:40pm, everyone is forced into the Safe Zone by the teachers where they will spend the night until they are forced out of the Safe Zone, at 6:59am, specifically chosen to deal the most emotional damage to the students as possible, the students are forced out of the safe zone.

Survivor outposts

Survivor outputs are empty semi-empty classrooms scattered across the school which were either invaded and taken over by students, or storage rooms that faced a 9/11 attack. There are also many survivor outposts made from leftover sperm in The Hub's sperm pool as well as regular furniture found throughout the school. Survivor outposts are also places were inhabitants sleep (outside the Safe Zone, because it's more fun to do it outside a 1x1 meter square), eat and fuck, though that is mainly done in the Hub.

The standard outpost. The desks have an unknown resilience to teachers, but it is presumed to be infinite.

The Hub is the main area where survivors congregate. There is gear (mostly sharpened metal rulers) to be given to people everywhere and was made when the students killed the principal and claimed his office. Common activities in the hub include [[masturbating] and sex (gay and straight). When people masturbate, they ejaculate into the sperm pool where the sperm is carried in buckets to be used as building material in different outposts. The sperm pool is a swimming pool where the students had used as a main water source. Without control of the water supply, it soon turned into a place where sperm and dust collected, eventually forming into the building blocks of most student outposts.

There are also other smaller outposts scattered everywhere across the school, and are often inhabited by smaller communities of students, usually in groups of 10 or 13. Some of these groups have never heard of The Hub, and are too much of a pussy to go there. Most of these groups go through a evolutionary process commonly known as survival of the fittest, and stronger communities mix and form what normal humans call a grade. The Brits prefer to call it years. Don't listen to them, those crumpet-ridden fools.

A picture sent to my email from KCIS students, specifically for this Uncyclopedia article. How thoughtful of them!

Zones

The teachers follow a certain behavioral pattern which can be mapped out with a simple chart that vaguely resembles a colorful dick. Unfortunately, the picture added to the right is inaccurate as the Safe Zone is just a 1 meter by 1 meter square which students are not allowed out of. So just OddBalls all over again.

• The Survival Zone is the main part of the school and is highlighted in red, and is where all student outposts are. This is also one of the zones the teachers are permitted to be in.

• The Capturing Zone is where captured students are imprisoned before being deported to hell. Only one person has ever escaped from here, as the entrances are heavily guarded. This is the purple highlighted area.

• The Safe Zone is where the students are forced into by the teachers when the clock strikes 8:40pm and is the only place that teachers cannot enter. This area is highlighted in green.

All of the above zones are created by the students, by studying the teachers' behavior and marking safe zones and dangerous zones. There isn't actually any defined zones in KCIS.

Teachers

Similar to the monsters in the video game Minecraft, the teachers in KCIS follow a certain behavioral pattern that is easily determined by the average inhabitant of the school.

• The teachers here will mercilessly chase after and anally rape whomever they see in the hallways and congregate in the capturing zone during their free time. They will then bring them to the capturing zone to be deported to hell.
• For unknown reasons, the teachers here all must have sex every 24 hours or they themselves will be deported to hell.
• According to the e-mails sent by the students at KCIS to the creator of this article, teachers sometimes are captured and raped themselves at The Hub, making KCIS a dangerous place for students and teachers' alike.

Cults

The standard activity of any cult.

Cults, or as the students at KCIS call it, "erection gatherings", are ever present in KCIS and are different groups of people that share a common space in KCIS, similarly to the Houses of Harry Potter. Students are usually sorted into cults by the shape of their erections and their penis size. There are a total of 4 known cults.

Cult of English+

This cult is made out of only people who exhibit symptoms of English+, and are usually targeted by teachers the most often because of their inability to synthesize humor well. These people show standard penis size and erections, however some do like to pour steaming cuppas onto their dicks and transfer to the cult of AAAAAAAA! as a result of their melting cocks.

Cult of AAAAAAAA!

The cult of AAAAAAAA! contains people that prefer to scream whilst masturbating. More times than not, you will find a room of 5 mentally-retarded children lubricating themselves in a room of screaming people. This is why most people avoid loud places, as the people in this cult have penises with no apparent difference to their own sperm.

Cult of Small Penises

The cult of Small Penises is categorized by the people with the smallest penises that are unable to show an erection and/or do not show a significant difference between the size of their testicular sacs and the rest of their cock. To compensate, they often have increasingly large pecs that are stored with fat, which are commonly mistaken for tits. This makes up for the majority of the students, including you.

Cult of Idiocracy

The cult of Idiocracy (or idiocy) consists of people who are unable to process the meaning of most words and phrases, and more often than not only understand the commands fuck and rape. These people have abnormally large penises and erections that make those penises go upwards instead of straight. These people are also usually rather gay and will fuck anyone at sight, which is why they always have flaming-red assholes all the time. There have been theories that their brains have been inserted into their dicks by force, though that has never been confirmed.

The Civil War of KCIS

The Civil War of KCIS. The horses have five legs, by the way.

The civil war of KCIS was a brief period of chaos when the cult of AAAAAAAA! and the cult of English+ decided to start fighting with weaponized furniture. Other cults disagreed on this, and stated that they should rather be using this for outposts than weapons. The cults of AAAAAAAA! and English+, with their sensitive little minds, began attacking the other cults on sight.

This went on for about 11 years, in which many students were deported to hell because of their fighting while in dangerous areas. After those 3 years, they congregated in The Hub (in a very civil manner mind you) and swore on their parents that they would not harm each-other ever again.

The parents of all the students outside the school died of a mysterious cause soon after. The current reason of their deaths are unknown, but Christians believe that it was a Divine Execution from God.

History

• Early 1995: KCIS is built
• Mid 1995: KCIS begins recruiting and brainwashing teachers and gains funding through the use of shoplifting.
• Late 1995: KCIS implements the International Baccalaureate system in their school.
• Early 1996: The capturing system is mobilized and students begin to get deported to KCIS.
• Mid 1996: The students kill the principal and build The Hub.
• 1997-2000: The students begin growing and start masturbating and doing sex.
• 2001: The International Baccalaureate contacts KCIS to crash a plane into one of the Twin Towers in NYC.
• 2002-2004: The sperm pool is made and students begin building outposts with the sperm.
• 2005: The first student is released from KCIS.
• 2006-2007: Many more students are captured and released, Cults begin forming based off the shape of student's erections.
• 2008-2019: The civil war of KCIS rages on.

Trivia

• The Hub is not the only place people have sex, as that is done absolutely everywhere
• The teachers all come from the Capturing Zone
• 1/3 of students here are not straight, as a result of the sheer lack of women
• The callers are just teachers that stay in the Capturing Zone
• Sperm is much more adhesive here than it is anywhere else. This is why it is a solid building material
• This school is part of the International Baccalaureate, though it is one of the schools with relatively smarter intelligence
• Women do not become pregnant here, as a result of being a part of IB

See also

• International Baccalaureate