Jerky

A picture of freshly picked jerky.

Jerky (pronounced Jerk·off) is an "edible" "food" that grows on acacia trees, commonly found in Libya. Multiple tests show that consuming jerky is harmful to the human body and should not be done under any circumstances, including being broke, having Carbon Monoxide Poisoning, or any other made up ailments. After effects of consumption including Extreme diahrea, a trip to the dentist, or loss of life.

History

After being discovered by revered Dictator Christopher Columbus, it was soon exported to all major villages in Africa to stop mental and physical development of the African people. Jerkey was claimed to be a kingdom in the middle-east in the 14th centrury, however this claim was falsified, the country refered to was actually New jersey.

Jerky Farms

Many countries have Jerky farms, to feed the native flesh eater population, here's a list of memorable farming locations:

• Death Star
• Night city
• Walmart
• Chernobyl
• Springfield

Jerking

Many believe that in Hell, you will be force-fed Jerky until you are disemboweled by the sheer amount of jerky in your bloodstream. This is a practice commonly referred to as Jerking. It is also believed by Mormons that this is a curse sent from the fourth moon of jupiter by the Moon Lord. Jerking was a common practice in cambodia after pol pot read the Torah. Jerking was also an interrogation method used by al-qaeda. Some freaks however, find this practice very arousing.

Unclassified documents reveal that Jerky trees grew in both Jeffrey Epstien's island and Sean "Diddy" Comb's mansion. The practice has also been disscused about by many famous artists, such as Kanye West and Eminem, in their collaborated hit album "Das Masturbation"

Recently, Alex Jones and Nicolas Cage have accused Donald Trump of having a 2TB hardrive of illicit material which includes videos of jerking and cp.

Gallery

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  Fresh meat

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  Definetly not weed

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  Homless jerky vendor

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  Beef jerky