Hip hop (stylized as Hip-Hop) is not an elaborate form of music with sophisticated arrangement and meaningful lyrical content. Instead, hip hop is an alleged form of music native to the black tribes of North America. It stems from the traditional musics of Africa and, in all its unmanliness, poetry. Hip hop music consists of two parts: the beat, an alleged gift from the hip hop deity "FrootyLoops Studio"; the other is "the message", the lyrical part of the song chanted over and over again redundantly and repetitively until it infiltrates the listeners skull and he or she accepts it as the absolute truth. The contents of the message are almost always disputed, even among the tribes, but one thing is certain: the message is true. Hip hop embraces many musical concepts such as sampling, repeating, and wanting to make love in a club full of other patrons.
The primary function of hip hop music is as a black tribal war cry. No other culture on Earth has perfected the art of the war cry to this degree. The black tribes face constant opposition both from each other and others.
Effects of Hip Hop[edit | edit source]
The hip hop war cry has the unique effect of not only intimidating and repulsing most elders of any other colored tribe, but also converting most if not all of its able-bodied members from the ages of 14 to 21 to the black tribe. Because Hip Hop music doubles as a form of hipnotic mind control, those affected by Hip Hop conversion begin exibiting strange, illogical behaviors. They know they are not members of the black tribe, but on some internal level they feel that they are. These people are known as Wiggers They begin to attempt shallow imitations of the dress, speech, and mannerisms of the black tribe, even going so far as to attempt to produce Hip Hop music themselves, make dumbasses of themselves, and attempt to convert others. Symptoms include: buying clothes 3 sizes too large to imitate the flowing dresses of the black tribes, dropping g's from each -ing in an imitation of ebonics(the native Black language), Sampling When the Levee Breaks addressing every black man as G (refering to God) as a form of worship(sometimes gets them shot), general obsession with the letter G, and th'owin' some d's on it.
When used properly, Hip Hop has the additional ability to bring the members of the fractured Black Tribes together to unite for a bloody orgy where semen fills the eyes of the innocent.
Hip hop is also gay.
Hip Hop (Ayo) Technology[edit | edit source]
Hip Hop is thought to be a form of NLP, or Negro-Length Penis. The secret is to hammer the desired message into the listener by chanting it repetitively in monotone. Testicles add a lyrical, musical quality to NLP by making the repeated phrase rhyme and adding a computerized drum beat in the backround, in order to disguise itself as a simple erection to unwary listeners.
Hip Hop differs from other forms of NLP in that it should not be used for Picking Up Women and Getting Permission to Penetrate Them In Delicate Pink Parts With A Long, Generally 6 Inch Object (unless you are a member of the Black Tribe, in which the Object may be longer), unless that woman has been pre-conditioned to Hip Hop's bowel moving effects. However, you might want to try Th'owin' some D's and G's on 'em. The acronym AYO, as seen in 50 Cents' song with Justin Tribblelake, is a reference to Anti Yellow Order. Certain members of the hip-hop/rap circuit are in fact haters of the colour Yellow and it's derivatives, and actively seek out to destroy it in any capacity. It is a well know fact that animals that are usually yellow like to lure children into a false sense of security before attacking them, physically and sexually. Most prominently seen in Chicks, ducklings, Pluto the dog and Monica Mailly.
Alternative Hip Hop[edit | edit source]
The alt.Hiphop movement which started in late 2007 to introduce more ethical and socially aware lyrics into Hip Hop material along with low-budget thoughtful promo clips was represented by artists such as Fuzzy Freddy and Schoolmaster D. It lost momentum after a series of driveby shootings in January-February 2008.
Recent Adoption by Elite Corporations[edit | edit source]
The knowledge of Hipnotic Effects of HIp Hop music has recently leaked to certain elite corporations, who wish to use it to their advantage. They often hire a Traitor from the Black Tribe to skillfully create a Hypnotic Hip Hop song which will somehow be used to make money. Loyal members of the black tribe should of these "fake" Hip Hop mind control messages, and so should member of other tribes who do not wish to be conned out of their money. Hip Hop converts are particularly susceptable to these fake hip hop songs, although some members of the Black Tribes have also been converted away from the origonal Message by the new, fake hip hop music. Which has lead certain rappers to claim...
“Hip Hop Is Officially Dead.”
many of the greatest scolars of our time, including the author of 400 babies, frank the tank, Hitler, Charizard, Bagels, 14 different kinds of urine, red, square, penis, etc. list hip hop as there favourite type of hops used in heady brews such as belaboo draught and sinkaloo skins. hip hops are grown in fields which lean towards an upsidedown arrangement favoured by barry baron von barbarella the three hundred and a hundreth. nice.
Niggaz[edit | edit source]
Dem niggaz be poppin collars all day in their 'lacs cuz ya know we be pimpin up in this muthafucka! Yeaaah nigga we ballin up in this bitch. Now tell grandma dearest to get her AIDS infected asshole back in da house cuz she done made 'nuff $$$ foe' da day, ya na mean? We gots ta keep dem bitchiz tight, last time we let our bottom biatch Natasha get outta shape we had some muthafuckin complaints! Dat ain't cool bruh. So dem niggaz gots togetha at the Round Table of Niggerdom to discuss policy changes for the wundafuhl career of pimpdom. Na mean? Ever since BIG PIMPIN and hippy hop done werked togetha up in this bitch, and we been cleanin up nigga! Watch any hippity hop vid out thurr and you may cum to da cuntclusion dat we dun hit gold when we figured out titties sell! So niggaz run this shit. Deal with it. YA PUNK BITCH.
Oh and we been also accused by sum haterz out thurr dat we be a bad influence for little niggaz growin up. MAN WHAT THE FUCK IS Y'ALL TALKIN ABOUT? We be teachin them little souljas how to ball at a young age homie! We know how to treat a bitch. Don't aks (notice we say aks and not ask, yes, it is a must you say it like this, unless you want us to pop a cap in yo ass... punk) us how to treat a lady, cuz we never seen a lady. All's women we done met be bitchiz. So ya gots ta use ya powerful backhands and WHOOP THAT NIGGARINA'S ASS! Make the beeee-atch behave, na'm sayin? Word*.
Niggaz came into being out of the descendants of the slaves brought ova to the continent that the white man done conquered frum da Indians, na mean? It's history lessons 101 up in this bitch. This particular group of people done expanded into all areas of life really. But puh-haps thurr be no otha place whurr niggaz dominate more than hip hop music, na mean nicca? Fa rellz, dis ish dunn binn useful to the niggaz and niggarinaz. Niggaz had to wrestle for control of hip hop with white boys starting in the late '90s (see Eminem). We believe we have vanquished the threat for the time being, na mean? As Fiddy Cent dun said, "I done came up", and that particular statement happens to apply to hip hop and niggaz as a whole. Name me one hip hop person who happen to not be a nigga in some way shape or form? Even Eminem be ackin (actin) like a nigga, y'all be knowin. More to come as niggaz reach their true goal, which is world domination and total mind control of all non-niggaz through the great vehicle that is HIP HOP! We takin over, ONE CITY AT A TIME. Niggaz.
Jigga: What do you wanna do tonight Weezy?
Weezy: Same thing we do every night Jigga, TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
- Note: There have been some up and cummin (we prefer to call dem new cummers) niggaz who have brought forth the issue at the 26th annual Niggerdom Round Table convention dat purrhaps we shud be introducing da concept of sayin' 'sentence' now that 'word' has entered the mainstream. It is only a logical continuation, na mean? Us niggaz be always at the top our games nigga. We value Innovation, so says Article 5, Paragraph 2 of the Rules and Regulations of Niggaz and Niggarinaz. Lil' "I done robbed ma grandma when I was 4 and used to money to get head from a bitch that turned out to be my mum", a.k.a. KanGay West, the distant cousin of Kanye West, was the one to bring forth such a proposal. The little fuck is so cool he done thought up of what to do after we introduce "sentence". Get ready niggaz. After sentence, we shall say, PARAGRAPH, followed by ESSAY. But not ese, that's for them fuckin sand niggaz. Ahh I need ma bottom bitch ta bring me another glass of Hennessy cuz I'm rambling like a punk anyway.