Fred Durst
William Frederick Durst (born August 20, 1970) is an American rapper, "singer", "songwriter", "actor", and "director". He is the frontman and lyricist of the nu metal band Limp Bizkit, formed in 1994, with whom he has released six studio albums. Durst was born in Jacksonville, Florida and spent his teenage years flicking cigarettes at toddlers and throwing lunchmeat at women, which negatively impacted his image as he rose to fame. Depending on who you ask.
Formation of Limp Bizkit[edit | edit source]
Before Fred Durst joined Limp Bizkit, the band was in trouble. The founding members of Limp Bizkit were in dire need of a frontman that was the personification of a football jersey with the number 69 on the chest, and the words "your mom" replacing what would be a player's last name across the back of the shoulders.
The band was exhausted and headed to their favourite luxury restaurant in Jacksonville, Florida - Boston Pizza (situated between Olive Garden Italian Restaurant and Bar and Dollar Tree). It was here they saw a drunken townie spending his paycheque from the oil rigs at the VLT - it was Fred Durst. As he went to order another drink, the bartender reused service and recommended he should settle up for the night. Fred refused to pay his $95.78 bill comprised of a parmesan chicken meal, several Bud lights, and a Burt Reynolds shot. As yelling began to erupt from Fred, the general manager of Boston Pizza approached to calm the situation but proved to be unsuccessful when Fred threatened to not sell him coke if kicked out. His jean shorts down to his ankles swayed with each misstep as he threw change at a nearby Boston Pizza waitress. Fred proceeded to get into his 1984 Ford Bronco and drive away but was arrested with a DUI only 100 feet away from the Boston Pizza after he crashed through the window of Olive Garden Italian Restaurant and Bar.
The founding members of Limp Bizkit were so impressed by his performance that they waited for Fred to be released from prison before offering him the position of their frontman.
Folklore[edit | edit source]
Those who have lived to tell the tale of meeting Fred Durst have alleged different encounters including:
"He gave an upper decker at my high school reunion. He did not graduate high school or attend my school."
"IZ JUS ONE O THOSE DAYZ"
"Fred sacrificed my baby in return for a self insert on uncyclopedia."