Funny Clown Congress
“*Incoherent Honking Noises*”
– Nigel Farage on something I also would like to be on
Her Majesty's Loyal and Unwaiveringly Wacky Congress of Funny Clowns | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Type | |
| Type | Unicameral |
| Leadership | |
Speaker of the Clowns | |
| Structure | |
| Seats | 128 |
 | |
Political groups | Government (46)
Silly Party (46) Supported by (33) Very Silly Party (30)1 Libertarian Party (3) Opposition (49) Slightly Silly Party (17)2 Sensible Party (32) Labour (0) |
| Elections | |
| See Voting System | |
Last election | 17 September 2019 |
Next election | 6 November 2022 at 16:21.92 |
| Meeting place | |
 | |
| Website | |
| www.parliament.uk | |
| Footnotes | |
| 1. 50% of MPs of this Party may actually be very hard to see without special glasses 2. Although a believer in the Marxist-Leninist-Sillyist tradition, The Slightly Silly Party does not officially support the government. | |
Funny Clown Congress is a unicameral governing body created by Her Majesty as a body dedicated to governance over the silly matters of her kingdom. Established in 1619 by Her Majesty, it meets in a moderately-sized bouncy castle erected upon the lands of Buckingham Palace.
Her Majesty's Funny Clown Congress oversees the passage of all laws, approves the leader of the Conservative Party, and supervises the work of Her Majesty's government. It is also responsible for adopting the state's funny phrases and approving the passage of new memes & jokes on the Internet, as per the Royal Meme Authorization Act of 2012. As set by Her Majesty at its creation, the Funny Clown Congress shares power with her, the monarch. In practice, however, Her Majesty wields executive power over all actual passage of laws, and the powers of Funny Clown Congress only supersede her ruling on matters deemed "befittingly wacky & funny."
History[edit | edit source]
The Funny Clown Congress was established in 1619 by Her Majesty in an attempt to improve the quality & efficacy of the jokes & pranks of her kingdom. Originally well-governed by a Conservative majority government for the first few centuries of its existence, the Tories were eventually surpassed and removed by the rise of the first People's Silly Party, who campaigned on the slogan "The Right Can't Meme," which narrowly earned them a majority in 1819.
Legislation[edit | edit source]
The Congress of Clowns has passed many pieces of legislation. Some noteworthy examples:
- Enabling Act of 1620: Declares the Funny Clown Congress to be the supreme legislative body in all matters affecting England. This was summarily vetoed by Her Majesty, and passed again by this Congress, and then vetoed, in a cycle which continues in honorable tradition to this day.
- American Removal of 1776: Declares that the Thirteen Colonies never existed and were never owned by the British nor anyone else.
- Footwear Emancipation Act of 1822: Declared shoes must now be worn the wrong way around.
Her Majesty, at this point, declared that the Congress was acting in a manner most "maliciously silly and vile," and removed much of the powers given to them by the Crown to prevent what she determined to be irresponsible behavior.
- Enabling Act of 1859: Declared Her Majesty's decision unconstitutional (in relation to the Funny Clown Constitution, ratified hours before the passage of this act), thereby invaliding her decision and returning power to the chamber.
- Globehead Rectification Act of 2012: Declares the Flat Earth Society to be wholly and indisputably correct on the shape and acceleration of the Earth.
- Information Secrecy Act of 2019: Declares that no media or literature, besides that commissioned by the Congress, may make any mention or implicit reference to the Congress, except for the internet website Uncyclopedia. This is part of a greater plan by the current government to sage a fake cover-up and Jewish conspiracy, which puts them as the central figureheads of the British government, despite their actual modern nigh-powerlessness.
Constitutional Requirements[edit | edit source]
Voting System[edit | edit source]
The voting system used by Her Majesty's Funny Clown Congress is complicated, and puts many obstacles in front of potential voters, allegedly in an attempt to ensure a well-informed and funny voter is the only sort that votes.
A variant of First Past the Post is used in determining the winners of each election. The voters' ballots are first split into groups by the weight of each voter, in pounds. The winners in each constituency are determined by who gets the most amount of mass of voters to approve their candidate, rather than by ballot count alone. Food festivals before election day, where many voters fill up as much as possible before voting, are a common tradition.
Controversy[edit | edit source]
In the 2019 election of Funny Clown Congress, Labour managed to secure 23% of the total ballots, yet received no seats in the chamber, due to how votes are counted for this body. Calls to revert to typical First Past the Post or anything remotely sensible has been blocked by a Silly-majority government for decades without much ground gained. Jeremy Corbyn has been very outspoken on the topic, going as far to say that the degree of silliness mandated by the Congress will soon become "far too silly" for the average voter to appreciate.
Most analysis, however, has suggested that the Silly party (and its coalition partner, the Very Silly Party) will maintain a decisive hold on Congress for many years to come.
Date of Election[edit | edit source]
The Congress is elected at an irrational number of years after the last election, usually a fraction of Pi. This fraction is determined by Her Majesty's Pie, which is a reasonably well-tasting bakery item placed within the halls of the Congress, with an instruction "DO NOT EAT" attached to it. The amount of this item illegally eaten determines the fraction of the pie remaining, and thus the fraction of Pi used in the calculation of the next election. MPs attempting to expedite the removal of an opposing government may attempt to pass legislation mandating that the Congress "look over there," while they hurriedly eat as much of the pie as is necessary to conform an upcoming election.
The irrationality of the years is a very honoured part of the electoral system, with its measurement done down to the milliseconds. It has been an honoured tradition to cast one's vote as exactly to the given irrational value as is possible. This means that voting can only occur within a few milliseconds margin. All votes must be cast within these few milliseconds; those who vote too early or late are not counted.
Voter Requirements[edit | edit source]
Voters who wish to participate in the election of the Funny Clown Congress must undergo a thorough process to ensure the legitimacy of their opinions on silly matters.
Potential voters must be either greater than 18 years of age or less than 18 months of age. They must also have a license confirming the their funniness, obtained either by receiving an Associates at a national Clown College or by completing a thorough test, in which the voter must look at one hundred (100) Facebook memes without laughing or smiling at any of them unironically, and tell at least two reasonably-good knock-knock jokes.