Forum:Uncyclopedia Is The Cancer That Is Killing The Internet

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Mr. Winkler, old and gray now, beaten down by the injustices laid upon him by the pondscum who now inhabit the once upright world of Uncyclopedia. Winkler, pass that bottle over to me, there is nothing to do here now but drink ourselves into oblivion.

Uncyclopedia has had a long legacy of providing the world with top-notch humor and comedy - yet it has also devolved over the years into a cesspool of corruption and decay the likes of which has not been witnessed since the fall of the Great Roman Empire.

Admins run riot, deleting any articles that dare go against the fascistic code of the HTBFANJS - yet allow such profane and blasphemous atrocities as Poop Throwing Monkeys to live on without question.

Dead baby jokes and toilet humor abound while true creativity is brutally ass-raped in preference of mediocre humor and a million articles trying to tell us Mr Winkle is gay.

People are welcomed by the title of "noob" and banned without rhyme or reason by the Cthulu-like admin who seem to enjoy lording over their hapless minions like some medieval spectre of death and weld absolute authority (so much for human rights then).

God is made fun of constantly despite his innocence and all manner of racist, sexist and downright degrading "humor" is seen in the once majestic halls that made up Uncyclopedia.

The word nigger is constantly spewed forth - causing rage amongst the gentle black folk of the world as they can only defend themselves via retaliation, using the word cracker and honkey: a tragic sign of racial tensions that are ready to explode at any time.

Unfunny in-jokes are rife and the smell of urine is almost unbareable as the masses piss themselves laughing at the misfortune of others: much like the public who watched hanging in the Dark Ages these so called "Uncyclopedians" take great joy inciting innocent IPs into flamewars and other such tragedies.

No longer does Uncyclopedia hold itself to the high standards of old and instead seems to be burying itself in its own excrement as it descends into the hell that is "unfunny" - like chittering hordes of flea-infested gerbils the members of Uncyclopedia claw at each other, seeking new ways to destroy the already sinking ship they once called "comedy".

In short Uncyclopedia is the equivelant of a giant anus that spews shit all over the internet, how the mighty have fallen. --92.3.43.120

How sweet of you to say! First of all, I'm not sure how one can "run riot" (unless you are a Def Leppard song), so I'll assume you meant rampant and respond with: "The admins may run around deleting and huffing quite a bit, but considering the amount of shit they have to sift through each day I'm surprised they haven't killed themselves." Also, Poop Throwing Monkeys carries a much deeper, and subtle message that you may have seen if you had stopped to think it over before playing "Knee-jerk-reaction 4: Throw a Tantrum." Yes we welcome newbies by calling them n00bs, because calling them "experienced" or "elders" doesn't make sense unless if time is running backwards. "n00b" can actually be a kind term among us civil Uncyclopedians, despite what other "cultures" may use the word to mean. And yes, there is some toilet humour around, but if everything was New-Yorker style satire we would have fewer people laughing uproariously and more people just sort of snickering or not laughing at all. Racial tensions are far from our minds, as many of us don't know the race of the person behind the writing. We don't care, either. Things are more likely to explode over wizards than race, as can be witnessed recently. In-jokes come and go and are fun little things to have when discussing amongst peers. Yeah, you may be an outsider for a short time and not know them, but you'll catch on. As for us sinking in excrement, everything by this point is made up of the excrement of some creature including you, so there's not much we can do about that. The plant absorbs it from the ground, the animal eats the plant, you eat the animal. You are excrement, I am excrement, we are all excrement. Finally, your comparison of us to a giant anus is very flattering, because without us you would explode with shit, and that just isn't very fun.

Sincerely, Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 02:29, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

Oh boy! A tl;dr forum rant about how much we suck! I've never actually been a part of one! —Pelozurian (talk) 03:40, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

That's nice. Except, you appear to have looked only on the bad side, and managed to descend into the horrifyingly stupid "morality police" perspective. You can rant all you want. Do you really think it will change anything?

Oh, and not to suggest anything, but the 92.2/4.xx.xxx has been used by multiple spammers, blankers, and the infamous "YOUR TOO SLOW" vandal.

• So, I could respond seriously to your concerns, but you don't appear to want to have fun here. OK, now I can stop acting so weird and formal and gay and stupid lolol--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 03:42, May 9, 2010 (UTC)
• You lost me at the first half of your very first sentence. Lies like that are simply too big. I wasn't born yesterday, y'know. True story. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:48, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

Stop using bullets! Real men use colons! —Pelozurian (talk) 03:50, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

I've only got one colon. You don't want to be around when I use it. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:54, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

You really want to be around when I use my colon. REALLY.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 03:57, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

My colon got chopped in half, now it's just a semi-colon cricket chirps--Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 03:59, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

I would be sorry, but of course I have those darn commas to look after, STOP INCORRECTLY BREAKING MY SENTENCES YOU LITTLE FUCKERS —Pelozurian (talk) 04:14, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

A story?! Do tell! Does it have faeries in it?--Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 03:51, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

• Oh yeah, and I killed Modus' hamster. I'm not sorry.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 03:53, May 9, 2010 (UTC)

  That explains the smell... —Pelozurian (talk) 03:54, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

  HAMSTER ATTACK! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:04, 9 May 2010

--EMC ^[TALK] 04:19 May 9 2010

—Pelozurian (talk) 04:24, 9 May 2010 (UTC)

--EMC ^[TALK] 08:13 May 9 2010

Aw Geah!

That was a lot of words to read so I skipped most of them, but I saw a link to Poop throwing monkeys and I love that story!!! A haha ha haha ha hahaha ha ha!!!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  12 May 2010 ~ 04:57 (UTC)