Commie Party of Uncyclopedia
 Great Seal of the CPU | |
| General Information | |
|---|---|
| Founded | 2013 |
| Ideology | Grouchomarxism-Leninadism |
| Country | United Federation of Planets |
| Greatestest Leader |  Sophia |
| Politburo | CLASSIFIED |
| Central Committee | |
| 001 | CLASSIFIED |
| 002 | CLASSIFIED |
| 003 | CLASSIFIED |
| 004 | CLASSIFIED |
| 005 | CLASSIFIED |
| 006 | CLASSIFIED |
| 007 | CLASSIFIED |
| 008 | CLASSIFIED |
| 009 | CLASSIFIED |
| 010 | CLASSIFIED |
| 011 | CLASSIFIED |
| 012 | CLASSIFIED |
| Headquarters | |
| 01A | Sofia (Bulgaria) |
| 02B | Wolverhampton (Wutjtod) (United Kommiedom) |
| 03C | Havana (Cuba) |
| 04D | Moscow (USSR) |
| 05E | Hanoi (Vietnam) |
| Ye Olde Goreath Seahl | |
.png) | |
Da CPU – Commie Party of Uncyclopedia is the founding, the only legal, and the totally ruling party of Uncyclopedia. It was founded by 12 commie parties and rules the site WATCHING YOU with the usage of a device, the central processing unit that you agree to be implanted in your brain once you join the site: it is clearly wroten in the registration contract.
History[edit | edit source]
Once upon a time we had the Roman Dogbirdish Uncyclopedian Commie Party (RDUCP), dat crashed and was absorbed by the Frostralian Commie Party (FCP), and its EFPEC (Emperor's Frosty Personal Elite Commando), the elite forces. The FCP, along with the Simsilikesimsian Commie Party (SCP), the Super Greek Commie Party (SGCP), and the Wagelavist-Titoist Party of Jugoslavija (WTPJ), created the Uncyclopedian Commie Party (UCP), dat split into Commie Party of Uncyclopedia Grouchomarxist-Lenininst (CPU-GL), Grouchomarxist-Lenininst Commie Party of Uncyclopedia (GL-CPU), and the Uncyclopedian Mochinchinese Commie Party (UMCP), electrically controlled by China. The UMCP was disestablished to create the Electrified Mochinchinese Commie Party (EMCP); meanwhile the FCP, SCP, and SGCP resurrected. The WTPJ split into 3 parties: Commie Party of Wageslavija (CPW), Wageslavijan Communist Party (Grouchomarxist-Leninist) (WCP-GL), and Wageslavijan Communist Party (WCP). To avoid this mess, they merged into the Rožskaja Wageslavskaja Kommunističeskaja Partija (RWKP). Meanwhile, The SCP, with the EMCP, the new Electrified-RAHBocopian Robocommie Party (ERRP) and the Human RAHBian Commie Party (HRCP), try to found the Commie Uncyclopedian Party (CUP). With the union of ERRP and HRCP, in the aRAHBian Commie Party (ARCP), the CUP was dismantled, and replaced by the Uncyclopedian Commie Party of Wolverhampton (UCPW), banned from the 12th International, and split into 72 parties. Meanwhile, the Y'allian Texan Commie Party (YTCP), the Y'allian MexiCanadian Commie Party (YMCCP), merged into the Y'allian Mexitexan Commie Party (YMCP). They tried, along with FCP, EFCP, SCP, SGCP, and Super Greek Commie Party-KKE (SGCP-KKE), to create the Uncyclopitanian Commie Notwikia Party (UCNP). With the distruction of Uncyclowikia, and with the creation of the Zombietanian Commie Party (ZCP), from the fusion of Zombian Commie Party (ZICP) and Zombabwean Commie Party (ZWCP); Uncyclopedian Unwolverhamptoned Commie Party (UUCP) was founded. Meanwhile, a split from FCP, the Old EFPEC-FCP Forces, merged with the Simsidontlikesimsian Commie Party (UnSimsCP), and the UUCP fell to the ground. The Commie Front of Pibo Manitoba (CFPM), the Kevikannadian Commie Party (KKCP), the Electrified Taiwanese Commie Party (ETCP), the Wolverhamptonish-Dudleysh-Bromwish Commie Party (WDBCP), created the Central Cacatoneditucanish Commiettee Party (CCCP), dismantled when the ETCP merged into the EMCP and the CFPM, plus the KKCP, created the Kevikannadian Commie Party of Pibo Manitoba (KCPPM). On the ruins of the old CCCP, it was created the Wolverhamptonish Cacatoneditucanish Maozedongish Commie Party (WCPCM)... Meanwhile, from the union of the 4evian Commie Party (4CP) and the Peruan Evan Commie Party (PECP), it was created the Forevian Pevian Commie Party (FPCP), that merged with the Commie Party of Lyrithya (CPL), creating the Commie Party of Uncyclopedia-4th International (CPU-4IN). The CPL quit the CPU-4IN and merged with the Commie Lyrithian Party Marxist-Leninist (CLP-ML), to create the Lyrithyan Commie Party (LCP)... And so on... OMG... Oh my Marx, oh my Engels! So, we had a mess of parties that created the United Uncyclopedians Fuckwikian Commie Party (UUFCP), the Grouchomarxist-Leninist UCP, the UCP Grouchomarxist-Leninist-Reloaded and... finally... the Commie Party of Uncyclopedia (CPU). Because CPU, as acronym, is like the Dr. Cox: IT ROCKS!
Founding parties[edit | edit source]
Listed in alphabetical order to avoid brawls. The CPU family can allow more and more and more parties.
ARCP – aRAHBian Commie Party
FCP – Frostralian Commie Party
FPCP – Forevian Pevian Commie Party
LCP – Lyrithyan Commie Party
SGCP – Super Greek Commie Party
ZCP – Zombitanian Commie Party
Newer copycat parties[edit | edit source]
Join the EFPEC[edit | edit source]
Created as the FCP paramilitary army, the EFPEC (Emperor's Frosty Personal Elite Commando), now the Ejército Federal of People's Elite Commando, is the armed force of the CPU. More than Chinese, Murrican, Best Korean and Russian armies, EFPEC has 1 billion of troops, starships, and a lot of other things we borrowed to the trekkish Starfleet. Join the EFPEC!
A day in the life of the CPU-ized Uncy[edit | edit source]
| Ri Chun-hee is angry with dat spammers on Uncy, of course a bunch of filthy imperialists |
- 1:00: Pornhub
- 2:00: Dance-Dance-Яevolution: OOOHHHH YEAH. (Ch-ch-chickah-chickah) Doo-bom-bom. (Chicka-chickah) Doo-bom-bom. Chicka-chickahhh!
- 4:00: Z-Snore!
- 5:59: zzz
- 6:00: the day begins with the national anthem in your ears: SLAPPALLAPPA LAPPALLAPPA CACATONEDITUCAN! SLAPPALLAPPA LAPPALLAPPA CACATONEDITUCAN! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG!
- 6:30: national anthems of USSR, Cuba, Yugoslavia, Laos, Vietnam, East Germany, Eurovision Song Contest etc etc...
- 7:00: In order to outmatch the Portuguese Uncyclopedia in the ranking, what time is it? It's Agit-Prop time: we have to create an article for each of the 35,357 French municipalities. Paris still exists: 35,356 for the goal.
- 8:30: TV news on the CPU-TV (Channel Party Unified) with Ri Chun-hee, da bombastic (and cocaine-addicted) North Korean anchorwoman who speaks in a weird language dat nobody understand.
- 9:20: "Cooking with Ri Chun-hee" (spin-off of the news): Ri tell us how to cook the aracuan without bothering him. Of course speaking in Korean, dat nobody understand.
- 10:30: a boring Russian cartoon, with Korean subtitles, dat nobody understand.
- 12:00: Shooting of Uncy's traitors, faSHITs, counter-revolutionaries, spammers & backstabbers at Sofia Square. Last wish of those dead men walking must be wroten in Korean, dat nobody understand.
- 15:00: Korean language courses at the school, but nobody cares because it is the super derby of the derbies of the history of football in Premier League: Wolverhampton vs West Bromwich
- 18:00: Enjoy and join a joint with joy in the Park (the Wolverhamptonish ward, of course)
- 20:30: Tv news on the CPU-TV, again with Ri Chun-hee, who is angry with YOU because you don't understand her and are unable to cook an aracuan or a toucan.
- 22:30: Collective parkour jumping among the trees, singing the heroic and erotic facts about Mao: TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG!
- 0:00: the day ends with the national anthem in your ears: SLAPPALLAPPA LAPPALLAPPA CACATONEDITUCAN! SLAPPALLAPPA LAPPALLAPPA CACATONEDITUCAN! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG! TSE TUNG!
Bibliography[edit | edit source]
- In CPU-ized Uncyclopedia the book reads you? Nope: WE are the books!
References[edit | edit source]
- Not needed: CPU is the truth.
