Note: This article is a vile lie perpetrated by goons. If you are an True Scienstist™ and you find this article enraging, you must not read it and see the truth here.
CreationWiki is a virtual Internets entity that any True Christian™ literal fundamentalist saved YEC creationist can edit. It serves as God's final bulkwark against the unremitting evilness of this depraved world. It has all of the good, All-American knowledge you can rely on! Now contains 100% less fact!
Built on a firm foundation of water[edit | edit source]
CreationWiki was founded by Dr Noah ben Lamech (a qualified expert on baraminology and hydroplate tectonics) during the intermediate aftermath of the World Wide Wetting Incident of 2525 BCE, partly as the result of a record breaking drinking binge gone horribly wrong. Noah, being the wisest man alive at the time, wasted no time in laying out the ground rules of honest integrity and free inquiry and scientifical research and precisely where you can shove them already.
CreationWiki: 4544 years young![edit | edit source]
For thousands of years [NOTE: Not millions! - ed.], the wise and benevolent administrators of CreationWiki have operated just like Uncyclopedia in that they ceaselessly strive to cater to the public's lowest common denominators in terms of objective accuracy or something. It is also said by some people and weasels that CreationWiki possesses advanced mind-reading technology which allows them to divine the innermost secret beliefs of any potential contributor, which sure goes a long way towards pro-actively filtering out unwanted evolutionary bullshit.
Lover quarrels[edit | edit source]
Many people (including the aforementioned weasels) fervently believe that CreationWiki and EvoWiki are mortal enemies, but this is patently not unnecessarily untrue (or not). In all factuality, EvoWiki and CreationWiki share a deep-seated mutual understanding and wholesome respect, because the one simply could not exist without the other, much like a white man and a white woman bounded by the Holy Bonds of conventional white heterosexual marriage. Of course, this is a somewhat imperfect analogy, especially considering that intimate sexual activity between creationists and evolutionists is pretty much out of the question.
Virgin offspring[edit | edit source]
In 2005, CreationWiki underwent a long series of improbable mutations spawning a considerable number of derivative childlike Wikii via mitosis, most of which remain reasonably compatible with Ultimate Truth™. These virgin offspring include but are not limited to:
- A comprehensive alphabetical listing of all 17,576 possible created kinds.
- A fun-loving paradise where geologists (and geology) run amok.
- Contains nothing but innumerable hyperlinks to itself.
- (indefinitely down for extensive maintenance due to innumerable software bugs).
[edit | edit source]
- CreationWiki's article about Uncyclopedia
- CreationWiki's article about Wikipedia
- Why don't those left-wing bastards* at Wikipedia have an article about CreationWiki anymore?
- *(... oh, right (never mind))