Bruno Mars
“Man, that nigga's afro as tall as the sky.”
“Bruno? It's me, Michael. I just wanted to know...is Macaulay here?”
Peter Gene Hernandez, born as Bruno Mars Jackson, is an Afro-Filipino singer who is the sole illegitimate son of Michael Jackson. Primarily known for his songs which seem like they come from the eighties, he is also known for his massive afro, which helped him discover his real dad all these years. Initially seeking not to be a latin music stereotype, nowadays he makes R&B music that would make even Bob Marley seem like a sober dude.
Life[edit | edit source]
Born 12 years before Michael's other kids due to an alleged relationship between Michael Jackson and some Filipino model named Bernadette San Pedro Bayot in 1985, Bernadette would realize that Michael really loved kids and left the Continental United States to go to Hawaii. She would marry a Puerto Rican musician and would rename poor Bruno to Peter, after her the musician I just mentioned. They were also musicians, with his father playing the piano and his mother being a belly dancer.
Just like Michael Jackson, Bruno would also begin performing from a scarily young age, partially due to his gangster uncle, who manipulated poor Bruno so he would be performing his real father's songs at the age of 3. Luckily, nothing happened much until 2004, when Bruno moved to California to meet a pen pal. Sadly, the alleged pen pal was will.i.am, who just deserted him immediately due to his afro. Realizing that he was completely different from his parents, the young Bruno would take a DNA test to see if they were really his parents. They weren't.
Realizing that he probably shouldn't disclose this as they would think he was insane, Bruno would begin making music. However, most of you primarily know him for "Uptown Funk", a knockoff funk song which has a lot of views in YouTube. However, in many third world countries, he's primarily known for "Grenade", which is highly nostalgic for child soldiers. Nowadays, he makes R&B music, never disclosing his real father due to being ashamed of Michael's intriguing relationships.