Ben (MLB)
Pre Credits Scene[edit | edit source]
Shohei Ohtani sits in his prison cell, thinking of submarines as he jerks his wiener. While he was able to get away with many war crimes in 1944, he was finally arrested after stealing trillions of dollars from his interpreter. The guards came and interrupted his pleasuring session, telling him he had a visitor. Ohtani was sent to the visitation room to see the Brunette Barista. She explained to him quietly that she finally made a coffee that can teleport them to another dimension. Ohtani was thrilled, screaming out loud how happy he was to go kill more people. The guards sent him back to his cell afterwards, but the barista told Ohtani he wouldn't be there much longer.
Shohei began to pull out his submarine pics again, but suddenly the sprinklers went off. Water wasn't coming out though, it was Petrol. Guards started shouting "INTRUDER" as laser beams were being fired at them. Ohtani peaked his head out to see Cyber-Titties using his "missile launcher" to blow up the guards. His bulletproof robotic shell deflected all the bullets, and soon enough every guard was down. Titties scooped up Shohei romantically, and activated his hover jets as he flew him out of the prison.
Worlds Collide[edit | edit source]
The B Team[edit | edit source]
In the 2025 all sex game, Brandon Nimmo was popping off because Trump won again. Although he was joyous beyond belief, he couldn't handle Tim Anderson and his "fried chicken" baseball bat. well well well. As the honorary shitty player in the all sex game, Javy Baez smacked a few nuts before chasing after a "Gorlock the Destroyer." Ultimately though, the MVP of the all sex game was Kike Hernandez, after he impregnated all his bros. After the game though, President Duran came and informed the shitters of a looming danger. He pulled up a Instagram Reel filmed on Earth 2, showing the crook Wander Franco licking kids in their no-no area. Duran chose these 4 players because they were expendable.
After being promised a Republican, kool aid drinking, partially homo, 3/10, the squad agreed to go to Earth 2 and seduce Wander. With one swing of the magic bat, Duran sent them to the negative dimension. Kike moaned during the teleportation process.
The hunt begins[edit | edit source]
4 milliseconds after sending the shitters away, Duran gets a call from his wife Nika Muhl. She yells at him saying "N*gger! There's people at the White House for you." Jarren returned to the White House to see Shohei Ohtani 2, The Brunette Barista, Cyber Titties, and Brent Rooker waiting for him. Rooker isn't evil, he's just there cuz he has nothing better to do. Ohtani informs Duran that they are trying to kill Earth 1's anchor being. Halfway through their conversation, Nika tells them to take it outside so she can call her friend and help her cheat.
After taking it outside, Ohtani tells Duran that their anchor being is Ben. Jarren has no clue who tf Ben is, but he tells Ohtani he isn't letting his Asian ass kill anyone. Sadly, the Brunette Barista did research. She exclaimed "We'll let Ben live, unless you happen to be a dancing alligator." Jarren screamed "NOOO" before turning into a crocodile and busting out a move. The squad began searching for Ben, but Nika Muhl overheard and called in the "A Team" to help her find Ben first.
Wandering around Earth 2[edit | edit source]
A day at Doggy Stadium[edit | edit source]
The B team arrived in Dogshitter stadium, confused that the Doggers were so terrible. They spent the next 2 hours watching the doggers game, and Kike even spotted his doppelganger playing. Sadly, he was frusturated that his alternate self was grabbing pussy instead of penises. After some time, Tim Anderson got the urge to steal so he went to the Dogger team store. As he was looting, he spotted a camera pointed at him. Although he tried blaming others for stealing, he quickly realized Wander Franco and Jose Siri found them, so he looted even faster.
Javy Baez kept telling Brandon Nimmo "hear me out," but Nimmo kept yelling they were femboys. Kike Hernandez lost his temper when he saw his doppelganger make out with a woman instead of Mookie Betts. He rage quit and left the stadium, but shortly afterwards Tim Anderson ran back with Watermelon in his mouth. well well well. He yelled "They know were here!" The first Batman villain arrived as Poison Ivy infiltrated Dogger stadium. She began putting her vines up the dodger players tips.
Brandon Nimmo grabbed his Captain America shield and charged at Poison Ivy. She countered by saying "I voted Kamala," giving Nimmo a panic attack on the spot. Javy Baez tried using telekinesis to send her flying, but his massive erection was messing with his aim. He instead launched Julio Urias on accident, leaving him in worse shape than when his wife beats him. Baez started to use his phasing to distract Ivy, and hoping Anderson could get himself a felony. She brought out the grape vines, leaving Tim longing for kool aid. well well well. Javy was left vulnerable, allowing Ivy to tell him "you look lonely." Baez reached terminal RyanGosling-itis.
Before his bro's could get seduced by the dommy mommy, Kike returned with the one thing that could stop a plant lady. He unleashed the lawn mower onto the field, like usual, and watched Ivy get shredded to pieces. 20 of the 26 Doggers also got shredded, leading to the team needing to be disbanded. Kike passionately made out with Nimmo and Baez, because they owed him one. He settled for a handshake with Tim Anderson.
As the B team exited the stadium, Earth 2 Chrid Taylor approached them and asked to join their crusade. Taylor JUST KNOWS that Paulo Rivera is a "Freshman Finesser," and wanted to find evidence from a Wander Party.
2 corners challenge[edit | edit source]
After using a rift to go, the 5 shitters reached the mega island where the grotto was. Before they went to the Grotto, Brandon Nimmo wanted to investigate the Shark because he suspected undocumented immigrants taking asylum there. His illegal-radar was correct, so he began gassing the Shark. Javy stayed at the shark, but Kike and Chrid Taylor wanted to visit the yacht for a "platonic" date. Tim Anderson went with them so he could get out of facetiming his kids. well well well.
Javy Baez roamed the shark, hoping to find the giant inflatable Ice Spice. He didn't realize its not there because this is the good shark, not the shitty one. What Baez did encounter tho was Harley Quinn, who was literally holding a gun and spiked bat. Javy ignored the red flags, and went in for a kiss before getting a stage 7 concussion. After throwing the last immigrant into the ocean, Nimmo rushed to aid his horny ahh friend. Brandon and Harley got into a long range gun fight, but Nimmo had the edge with his golden scar. Nimmo deemed it "very necessary" he keeps an AR in his child's bedroom. With Harleen weak, Javy Baez woke up from his concussion and impregnated her. She didn't want to carry this horrid players baby, so she tried getting an abortion but Nimmo wouldnt let her. She exploded from the miscarriage.
Kike kept trying to seduce Chrid Taylor on the Yacht, but Taylor was too busy trying to find a nuke to shoot at UC Berkely. Anderson was deathly afraid of falling off the boat, as he didn't know how to swim. Suddenly, Bane entered the room yelling who stole his chicken and waffles. I wonder who. Kike tried touching Bane's muscles but he got punched off the yacht. A group of sexy pirate ladies quickly saved him from the ocean. Chrid Taylor noticed the blood tubes on Bane's testicle, and it made him come up with an idea. He told Anderson to go cut Banes tubes, as Taylor once tried to do to Paulo Rivera during an EHS blood drive. Anderson pulled a shank out of his pocket and charged Bane. well well well. Tim got down real low, and SEVERED CONNECTIONS on Bane's tubes making him go flaccid.
Operation: Lubrication[edit | edit source]
The 5 shitters linked up their meats once again, and stared down the dark hole leading to Wander's Grotto. The group was scared to jump, except Javy Baez cuz he spotted some hella fine 2/10's. He leaped down and dragged everyone else down too. They all landed in what they thought to be water, but it was TONS and I mean TONS of baby oil. They licked each other clean before investigating the Wander Party. Many Batman villains were diddling kids, but Wander Franco was nowhere to be seen.
Jose Siri spotted the dipshits, and had to cancel his Hawk Tuah early. He began releasing laughing gas into the party, while he went to go warn Diddy Wander. Kike Hernandez suddenly started thinking of his homies tickling his pickle, and laughed hysterically on the floor. Brandon Nimmo began thinking of those tik tok videos of liberal girls crying, and he too started laughing. Tim Anderson thought about how his children had no father, and he laughed as well. Baez was literally at 12 reasons, so he had nothing to laugh about. Same with Chrid Taylor because he had too much hate for Paulo Rivera.
Baez and Taylor patrolled the walls, hoping to find some methamphetamine. Sadly, they still only found lube. The duo accidently split a pole, so they were forced to never talk again. Javy found a room that said "14 yr old handies" but before he could enter, he spotted a hella sexy mannequin. Javy knew he had to rizz her up, but as he did he got hit with a lube cannon from the back. Baez turned to see Jose Siri, extremely pissed off because Joker 2 was ass. With a dead father and being depressed, Javy met minimum requirements to become Batman. Baez used his magic to send waves of Lubricant at Siri, but he drank all of it no problem. Siri then revealed his new ability, being able to travel through IOS products. Javy got punched through his apple watch, and he fell into the deepest pit of baby oil. As he drowned, Siri threw the mannequin down too so that at least Javy could die with the love of his life.
The compromise[edit | edit source]
Chrid Taylor found the back entrance to "14 yr old handies" and entered to see Wander Franco getting FREAKY. There were computers all around though, tracking Ben from earth 1. Taylor tried telling Wander to stop, but he had a sneeze that wouldn't come out. Wander finished with his 14 yr old sweetheart, before approaching Chrissy. He pulled out a photo from his pocket, and Taylor giggled with excitement when he saw it. It was a screenshot of Paulo Rivera dm'ing a freshman. Wander agreed to give Taylor the photo as long as he didn't report the Wander parties. Taylor, having no sympathy for the traumatized kids, happily accepted and set off back home.
Wander looked at his screen and saw Ben ready to come. Franco extended his tongue, and his dick, and opened a portal to Earth 1...
Coming for Ben[edit | edit source]
Protect the President ahhh[edit | edit source]
Fernando Titties Jr, Manny Machado, and Juan Gary Soto play Smash Bros 6 in the Padres sex dungeon. Titties and Machado are double teaming Soto, furious that he let the Dodgers win a world series. Soto, playing as Jonesy from FN, was able to win the 1v2, and he celebrated with an avocado shower. Titties got a call on his built-in walkie talkie from Nika Muhl, and the trio were told they needed to go find Ben and make sure he comes. Machado told them he once beat up Ben at Orioles park, so they set off for Baldimore.
The group arrived at Baltimore in a record 530 days, as Titties insisted they rode a motorcycle the whole way. They investigated Orioles stadium until they found a room called "Oman's Wacky Wahoo Place." They opened the door and saw Ben, wanting to come. Soto tried warning Ben that he was in grave danger, but Ben ignored him and started playing Clash Royale. Manny raged, threatening to turn off the wifi in Orioles Park. Titties intervened, as he might also turn off. Fernando used a built in speaker to blast the KSI song in Orioles Stadium, and it was so horrid Ben finally got up and started to leave.
The squad gathered their avocados and motorcycle porn as they prepared to leave, but they got attacked by Ohtani 2 and his goons. This started an epic 4v4 brawl, although it was more of a 3v3 as Brent Rooker also had CR and just did duos with Ben.
Doppelshitter fight[edit | edit source]
Titties stared in awe at Cyber-Titties, as he one day hoped to be as robotic as him. Titties jumped on top of his cyber-counterpart, trying to pry off motorcycle parts for himself. Cyber Titties used many of his advanced technology, including his turbo jets to fly high into the air. Fernando pulled a rearview mirror out his ass and tried attacking robo Titties with it, but it wouldn't even penetrate his ass. Cyber Titties began activating his petrol dispenser, causing Fernando to start slipping off him. With not much time left, Titties noticed the Ringworm Radiation energy source on Cyber Titties belly button. Fernando pulled out the ringworm medicine he stored next to all his steroids, and injected it into Cyber Titties energy source. Cyber Titties completely crashed out, and they both fell 40K meters. Cyber Titties only landed on the 50 minute IL. Thank god he wasn't on Petco Park.
Although Manny was able to hold his own against blondes, he became a dog with Brunettes. The barista threw a coffee at Machado that turned his penis into a vagina. Manny got the urge to finger himself, but he locked in and fought back. He supports equal rights. The barista struggled against Machado, who was punching her harder than Aroldis Chapman punches his wife. She drank another coffee that made her fully metal, now being able to counter his Gaive Dominicus attacks. Sadly, she raged when Manny called in 72 cash drops and placed THE GOATED Beast Handler. The Megaladon devoured the barista, and took her far enough away so that Machado could finally finger himself.
Ohtani 2 used his naval training to beat up Soto, and then he proceeded to step on his avocados. Before Juan could vomit, Ohtani 1 appeared out of nowhere and punched Ohtani 2. The two got their hats tangled, and when Ohtani 1 time travelled so did Ohtani 2. Soto knew he had to follow them, so he took a selfie and jerked off to it hoping it would make him time travel. It thankfully worked, and Soto ended up in the 1770's with Ohtani 2. As they were right in the middle of the American Revolution, Soto bottom fragged with George Washington as they fought against Ohtani's submarine. Ohtani tried his best to resist the urge, but he couldn't and started jerking it in the submarine. This allowed Soto to shoot an avocado torpedo at him, blowing up the whole continent. In a circle with American heroes, Soto jerked off to himself again to go back to the present.
Titties Manny and Soto returned from their fights, only to see Ben had left. They confronted Brent Rooker, who said Ben won his cr match so he just let him leave. He got it HARD from the back. They had only years before Ohtani 2 and the gang returned...
WNBA[edit | edit source]
Ben stopped at a local Albertsons to charge his phone and play more coc. At the same time, Nika Muhl was shopping for falsified pregnancy tests. They ran into each other, and Nika immediately recognized Ben because she friendzoned him 4 different times. Although Ben was still waiting to come, Nika told him he needed to get to safety. She dragged him by his tip out of the store, but they were stopped by earth too reinforcements. Shohei Ohtani's wife, Mommy Ohtani, and his dog "Dinner." Nika told Ben to run away, but Dinner started chasing after him.
Nika and Mommy Ohtani battled in the Albertsons supermarket, using abandoned shopping carts as hoops. Nika took an early lead after hitting an insane 3 pointer, but she JUST HAD to call her bestie and tell her about it. Mommy Ohtani rebounded with a 5 pointer, but she got "distracted" seeing a submarine postcard (like husband, like wife). Nika proceeded to call her fan accounts, who helped her take a 300 point lead. Sadly, no fan account came close to the greatness of Paulofan17. Mommy Ohtani called in a kamikaze fleet to score 60pointers. Some members of the fleet were quoted saying "Just getting silly here, what if were not into the plan?" It didn't matter as they still had to crash into Albertsons. With only seconds remaining, Nika finally got her period. This led to her scoring the game winning 0.01pointer. Mommy Ohtani retreated, knowing she would get put down by Shohei.
Nika ran to go find Ben, but she found him unharmed. It turns out Dinner is just a chill guy.
About to Bust[edit | edit source]
Nika and Ben kept running, but were cornered by Ohtani 2, now covered in moldy guac. Titties, Machado, and Soto tried to come help, but the Brunette Barista poured coffee on their nuts. Cyber Titties, now with motorcycle wheel feet, prepared to run over Ben before he could come.
Suddenly, sound grenades rained from above. They screamed "FAGGOT" at 300 decibels, shattering everybody's eardrums. Dancing Alligator Duran arrived, but he could not talk. His only form of communication was through interpretive dance. He chomped on Cyber Titties while twerking, eventually ripping out all his motorcycle parts. Regular Titties quickly gathered all the pieces, and left.
Ben was beginning to come, but the Brunette Barista stuffed a pacifier up his tip. Nika Muhl retaliated by scissoring the barista, platonically. She finished the job by cancelling the baristas onlyfans.
As Ben struggled to get the pacifier off, Shohei 2 began stealing all his money for gambling. Dancing Alligator Duran, while doing the Macarena, pulled out a Fuck Em Mace and whacked Ohtani with it. Shohei, in his final moments, pulled out his submarine pics. He went out with a "bang."
Ben finally got the pacifier off, and with everybody around he started to come. Out of nowhere, Wander Franco teleported in and devoured all of Ben's cum. This gave Wander unlimited power, and he blasted everybody away from him as he started taking over the world. He was now able to molest kids telepathically, making him unstoppable. The world went into full national crisis, and Wander now was the ruler of 2 earths. The A-team had to officially declare, its over...
The Final Touch[edit | edit source]
Why so Serious[edit | edit source]
After 3 minutes of ruling the world, Wander already overloaded on dopamine. He forced his new prisoners, Nimmo Anderson and Kike, to play baseball constantly. But every time they struck out, 50 more kidz would be touched. They knew they needed to escape, so they planned to set off as soon as Anderson finished selling drugs. well well well.
Brandon Nimmo gave the trio USA themed scuba suits, and the three submerged into the depths of baby oil. As they swam, Anderson started to drown. well well well. Nimmo was fine with letting the criminal drown, but Kike knew if he saved him, Pookie Betts would give him endless head. Kike picked up Tim by his ass hairs, but as he swam back up they got surrounded by Lube Dolphins. The dolphins were HELLBENT on raping them, and started chasing them as they swam away. Nimmo was forced to get his fist out his ass, and beat up the dolphins he suspected to be here illegally.
The three emerged just outside the exit to Wander's grotto, but they were stopped by Jose Siri and other Batman villains. Siri asked "Why so serious?" because he was genuinely curious why Nimmo wasn't smiling. It's because Brandon learned his daughter's snapscore is 10M. Kike was minding his own business when he noticed Catwoman staring at him, longing for his penis. He used this to his advantage, asking her to spill Siri's laughing gas. She clawed the tank of gas open, and all the villains started pissing themselves. Catwoman tried kissing Kike afterwards, but he told her "I'm married." before grabbing Nimmos junk. The trio made their way to the zero point, and had one last group sex before going back home.
Wander found Siri defeated, and decided that he was no longer fit to touch kids with him. Wander sadly turned off Siri on every device, and shipped Jose to the Mest its not about the mets lets not go baby.
Motivational Speech[edit | edit source]
Ben got PTSD from Wander Franco, and has since been unable to come. Titties tried cheering him up by showing him 10/10 motorcycles, but it didn't work. Jarren Duran was taking out all his frustrations out by screaming Faggot, and Nika Muhl was one up'ing him by screaming the n word. Suddenly, the B team spawned in from the sky and landed ear-first on the ground. Kike exclaimed he was in a lot of pain and needed some "CPR," but he got sad when Nika started blowing him.
Due to space warping shenanigans, a chinese beaver also fell from the sky. He saw Ben looking miserable, and gave him the most uplifting, inspiring, empowering speech ever uttered. Just as his speech finished, Wander Franco teleported in. He touched every kid on earth 2 at least 80 times, so he was ready for a fresh batch. Ben was ready to lock in, and with the help of his autistic friends, finally stop Diddy Franco.
Me and Ben[edit | edit source]
Juan Soto and Manny Machado tried 1v2'ing a supervillain again, but Wander clapped them. He held up a mirror to Soto, and used telekinesis to jack him off. Soto was sent to 48 BC. Machado tried punching Wander harder than he punched his neighbor's kids, but his hands got stuck in Wander's elastic body. Diddy Franco then wrapped around his "Drake" around Mannys neck, putting him to sleep.
Titties tried ramming a motorcycle into Wander, but he couldn't resist the temptation and put his penis in the exhaust pipe. Wander used magneto powers to shrink the pipe and titties weiner got crushed. Nimmo prayed to Donald Trump to save him, as Anderson pointed a gun sideways at Wander. He pulled the trigger immediately, but only lube came out. Wander then teleported Anderson back to his wife and kids. Nimmo eventually collapsed when Franco told him he falsified his citizenship papers.
Kike used what he learned on the Red Sex, and started flying high into the air. Wander quickly flew after him and launched him into a plane headed for the Twin Towers. Nika Muhl was preparing to turn Jarren back into an alligator, but Wander magically glued her mouth shut. Jarren was secretly happy because now he couldn't get nagged. Duran still pulled out his Fuck Em infinity blade, and dueled Wander who was using his penis. Nika tried hitting Wander with some 3 pointers, but like the WNBA viewership, it didn't hit. Wander was finally able to win by raping Nika right in front of Jarren, but because he had untraceable DNA Jarren thought Nika cheated on him. They divorced, with Nika taking half of the white house.
Wander was one step away from touching all the kidz, the only person left in his way was Ben. Diddy Franco wasn't ready for what happened next. Ben came. Wander got splashed, and he began to get transported to the phantom zone. In his final moments, he telepathically touched as many kids as he could. Ben returned to Oman's Wacky Wahoo place, and retired from life, opting to play coc forever.
Although the world was saved, it must be remembered Wander Franco is like springtrap. He always comes back...