Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 16
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- 70,000,000 B.C. - First Gozan Okuribi festival (meaning "bloody great flaming kanji") held in Kyoto.
- 40,000 B.C. - Takoyaki invented.
- 1950 - Kyoto, Osaka and Kobe form the Keihanshin conglomerate after being liberated from their evil oppressors.
- 1973 - Kansai officially enters the Kaiju League of Japan with two contestants (Entei and Glico Man)
- 1984 - Governor of Tokyo makes stealth attacks on Kansai under the alias The Monster with 21 Faces.
- 2007 - Osaka scientists find out how to make a robot that solves a Rubik's Cube. World breathes sigh of relief.
- 2200 - Kansai secedes from the rest of Japan. Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu shortly follow. This leads to the Tozaikan War.
- 2207 - Kansai wins the Tozaikan War by planting proximity takoyaki around Tokyo. Kanto surrenders on November 1 of the same year.
- 3000 - Osaka declared capital of the world.