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Contrary to popular knowledge, there is such a thing as a free lunch. For years, theoretical prandiologists have been combining work in physics, economics, and hamburgerology, and have determined several possible domains in which there may exist a gratis mid-day meal.

By observing the cost of small edibles sold in gradiated quantities, an observer can see that, as the number of units per package increases, the price per unit decreases. Chicken McNuggets provided a now-famous experimental example:

6 McNuggets cost $0.99, or $0.165 per McNugget.
9 McNuggets cost $1.26, or $0.14 per McNugget.
20 McNuggets cost $1.80, or $0.09 per McNugget.

By extrapolating the unit cost of the individual McNugget relative to the package cost, we see that the cost for marginal McNuggets approaches zero and eventually becomes negative. Once a suitably large number of McNuggets are packaged, the negative-cost McNuggets offset the positive-cost McNuggets, resulting in zero net cost -- a free lunch. (Full article...)

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All you'll know about faggotry

...that true form of faggotry is often unknown but assumed in two forms?(pictured)
...That My little pony, pokemon and touhou shit out the most rule 34 in any franchise known in this world?
...that You can't be a superhero becauseof your intense faggotry?
...that CattheColorful's sisters tits are extremely massive?
...that i fondle with Catthecolorful's sister's massive tits?
...that faggotry is conspiring to take the internet over?
that if it exists, there is porn of it, no exceptions?
that Chuck norris raped your mom wearing Mario's tanooki suit, and due to this he started world war II along with hitler?

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On this day...Faggotry is happening
May 26: Wear Pants On Your Head Day 1918 - The country of Georgia declares its independence, America on high alert until looking at an atlas. 1938 - The House Un-American Activities Committee starts rounding up dirty commies for complaining about the sweet smell of industrial smog. 1985 - Peter Pan spins in his grave as Michael Jackson's Neverland is built. 1998 - After massacring aborigines for centuries, Australians create "National Sorry Day" to get those savages to stop their incessant whining. 1999 - The Y2K Bug dies squashed under a rock. 2002 - Mars Rover finds signs of rocks on the planet Mars. 2004 - The Vienna Boys Choir release a choral version of Devo's "Whip It", which charts at No.22 on the Billboard. Archive – View tomorrow

Today's featured sick-fuckery

This picture was painted at the scene of George Bush's recent visit to Iraq. Locals rushed out to greet him, as he went about his official business: visiting the sick and needy, dispensing worldly and timeless wisdom, even finding time to heal a few lepers.

Image credit: Spang
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Faglord of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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