Babel:Nub

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welcum 2 uncyclopedia, da content-free encyclopedia dat steve/i can edit.


sophia haz inspierd us 2 wurk on 37,695 articles since opening in january 2005.

before editin, plz raed da writin guidelines n flamewar manual.

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CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Scientists at the The Mayo Clinic came to the conclusion that old people are more likely to die after the recent death of Bertha Madeline "Bobcat" Swanson, master gardener, beloved grandmother, and certified old person.

The study began three years ago, when five old people died at The Shadyside old folks home within the same week. At that point, The Mayo Clinic dropped their study on a miracle cure for cancer, and began a study on the elderly. "We were all so occupied with this old folks study, everything else seemed unimportant," said Lisa Garber, head of research Tuesday, "When I was at home, all I could think about was getting back to the lab and working. Now that it's all over, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe go home, take a nap, cry into a quart of ice cream... Er... I mean... Eat a nice dinner... Yeah, that's what I meant... Anyway, this was probably our biggest breakthrough since we figured out that bears actually do shit in the woods (who knew?), so I guess I can be happy about that. Although in hindsight, throwing a party might not have been the best thing to do, seeing as there was a death and all..."

The study in question consisted of the "old group" and three control groups (toddlers, young adults, and middle aged). The toddlers have yet to die, but the last person in the middle aged group was killed four days after Bertha, in a midlife crisis. When asked to comment, Lisa Garber merely said, "Let's just say his parachute had a hole in it..." Additionally, the last person in the young adult group, Jonathan White, nearly died after a head injury. However, after being admitted to the hospital, he did die of an accidental morphine overdose. One of our reporters was there, but was unfortunately out of the room at the time of death. The shady man standing next to Jonathan's body refused to comment. (Full article...)

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writer of da munth

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,695 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!



Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.     

4 nonsense related noob chat, see This instructional video.

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