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Today's featured article (new every day) Contrary to popular knowledge, there is such a thing as a free lunch. For years, theoretical prandiologists have been combining work in physics, economics, and hamburgerology, and have determined several possible domains in which there may exist a gratis mid-day meal. By observing the cost of small edibles sold in gradiated quantities, an observer can see that, as the number of units per package increases, the price per unit decreases. Chicken McNuggets provided a now-famous experimental example: 6 McNuggets cost $0.99, or $0.165 per McNugget. 9 McNuggets cost $1.26, or $0.14 per McNugget. 20 McNuggets cost $1.80, or $0.09 per McNugget. By extrapolating the unit cost of the individual McNugget relative to the package cost, we see that the cost for marginal McNuggets approaches zero and eventually becomes negative. Once a suitably large number of McNuggets are packaged, the negative-cost McNuggets offset the positive-cost McNuggets, resulting in zero net cost -- a free lunch. (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; USA Joins in Support User:Y UnScripts:Quentin Tarantino's Teletubbies Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we have no pornographic content? ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we have no pornographic content? ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we have no pornographic content?	In the news Doug Ingle 1945-2024 Justin Bieber gives birth to a baby, baby, baby, oooh Switzerland wins Eurovision Netherlands disqualified in final shocker YouTube is dead D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud · Israel-Hamas conflict Recent deaths: Roger Corman · Drake's "whole mans career" · Dabney Coleman · Kabosu · Richard M. Sherman (Disney musician) · Doug Ingle Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · Drake's sanity On this day... May 26: Wear Pants On Your Head Day 1918 - The country of Georgia declares its independence, America on high alert until looking at an atlas. 1938 - The House Un-American Activities Committee starts rounding up dirty commies for complaining about the sweet smell of industrial smog. 1985 - Peter Pan spins in his grave as Michael Jackson's Neverland is built. 1998 - After massacring aborigines for centuries, Australians create "National Sorry Day" to get those savages to stop their incessant whining. 1999 - The Y2K Bug dies squashed under a rock. 2002 - Mars Rover finds signs of rocks on the planet Mars. 2004 - The Vienna Boys Choir release a choral version of Devo's "Whip It", which charts at No.22 on the Billboard.
Today's featured picture St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived. Image credit: Isra1337 View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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