Walter Peyton "Place" Manning is the second-greatest quarterback in NFL history, and the older brother of the greatest QB in NFL history, Eli Messiah. He hasn't won a championship because his teammates suck royally. His entire career is exactly like his father's, promising but ultimately insufficient, and it's all his teammates' faults.
Manning is also noted for throwing an NFL record 78 touchdown passes during Madden NFL 2004, barely surpassing Dan Marino's 76 TDs during Tecmo Super Bowl in 1991.
Manning is a good teammate, and as such, hasn't said anything, but his entire team sucks except for him.
So far he has nothing to say about coaches and management. Some people say this is because he is white enough to not anger the people who sign the checks and call the plays that he then waves off with five seconds on the clock, but they're a bunch of racists. He's not like Terrell Owens, ok? And don't say Owens isn't white enough to be as ignorant as Manning and get away with it, ok. You don't understand NFL politics at all.
(more...)
Recently featured: Vietnam War Hoax - Uncyclopedia for Dummies - HowTo:Run away from home - Blackbeard Catering Company - Really Big Tree
Yesterday's Featured Advert
Johnson! My fine fellow, I haven't seen you since the Boer War! Bah, we must have made a glorious slaughter of those Dutchies in the Jungle eh? Ha Ha Ha, please, sir, sit down!
Why the long face? What's this you say, you're having trouble with Women-folk? Oh dear Johnson, oh dear oh dear. Still, Stiff upper lip, or should I say Stiff lower member? Ha Ha Ha, that is the problem I assume Old boy?
What! Speak man!, you're not some mumbling Frisian I do hope! Do you walk around in wooden shoes? Do you spend your evenings getting baked, then calling directory enquiries, asking for the number to directory enquiries? HA. No, I didn't think so. You're BRITISH man! My God, speak up for the love of all that is gloriously pompous!
Well...
I hope you haven't been seeing those China-women Johnson. Oh Johnson you old rascal! You picked up an oriental venereal disease, didn't you? Oh there's no shame in it ole sport. Quite the rage. Come on man, whip it out, I'll see what I can do, come on don't be a shy old Aunt ... (Full article...)
|