QAnon
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Kellyanne Conway approves this article for its top notch alternative facts.
QAnon is a far-right proven conspiracy theory scientifically proved proof claiming proving that several all high-level commie Demon-crats and celebrities like Tom Hanks and Jimmy Kimmel[who?] are proven cannibalistic Satanic pedophiles, which is proved using proof that everyone knows is proven true and nobody needs to look up.
Also known as blood libel.
The proved airtight fact has roots as an offshoot of Pizzagate mmm pizza both of whom have much of their basic ties centering around Jeffrey Epstein who also never met and was never associated with our lord and savior. The astonishing revelation of these very true facts were published through the only reliable way to report scandals to the public by a mysterious figure known only as Q or QAnon. This selfless hero is a high-level government official forced to work for the most sinister, menacing, and most dangerous threat humans have ever faced: The US Department of Energy. It is bone-chillingly frightening that this force of evil still exists, conducting research that could provide the poor with.. affordable costs of living.. taking away their right to starve. My god... May there be mercy on all our souls.
But this champion of freedom holds a Q Level Security Clearance. Q clearance is the highest level clearance, indicating that one has finally made it past the lower letters of demon-worship - L.G.B.T. - and ascended through these unholy ranks to the highest level of gay: Q+. Knowing full-well that Hillary Clinton would be coming for him as soon as he hit "submit post", Q nonetheless valiantly stood up and then valiantly sat back down so he could reach the submit button. He knew that the only truly virtuous thing to do was to finally stick up for the average hardworking people who for too long have been beaten down and made tired, oppressed by the unrelenting tyranny of desegregation.
Proof[edit | edit source]
Obviously, the proof for this conspiracy fact is proven. Didn't you read the first god-damn paragraph? If you still need proof on the proofality of this proved fact, (WHICH IS PROVEN WITH THE UTMOST AND ABSOLUTE PROOFEDCESSITY), just listen to your heart. In normal Americans, the heart will palpitate in morse code for the right thing to do. If you can't hear it well enough, it is standard procedure to remove it from the chest and seperate it from the liberal, freeloading organs so that you can hear it more clearly. And don't put it back: those organs need to learn to live independently for their own good. Plus, your heart will give you the companionship that your dog provided (before the state took it away, of course) Instead of looking for a tail wag, all you have to do to know things are good is feel a shooting pain up your left arm, and get the feeling that breathing is no longer necessary; hence the term "take your breath away".
Conspiracy believersRESPECTED & CELEBRATED PATRIOTS[edit | edit source]
- Donald Trump
- Lauren Boebert
- Marjorie Taylor Greene
- Ted Cruz
- Josh Hawley
- Lindsey Graham
- Tucker Carlson
- Sean Hannity
- Your Mum
- Karen
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