127.0.0.1
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“There's no place like”
“What about me?!?”
“What about 172.73.149.44?”
“This idea of regarding the distribution of documents informing people on how to fix their computers by allowing virus protection to be installed into their computer to prevent 127.0.0.1 from hacking into their network in order to view their pornographic content and other most personal files of utmost secrecy - it is simply unfeasible and I will not be the poor sucker who would be caught down for suggestion that we allow this to continue.”
127.0.0.1 is the IP address from which Uncyclopedia receives the largest amount of spam, vandalism and blankage. The user at 127.0.0.1 is an incredible moron (users), who delights in defacing wiki pages. His posts are the most asinine, worthless posts ever seen in modern wikis. If you come across anything from the address 127.0.0.1 delete or revert it immediately. The massive zombie-network of 127.0.0.1 is thought to contain the world's largest collection of poop; although it is not made public, many have succeeded in retrieving it by a secret method.
This user is perhaps the most glamorous, dis-formed beautiful creature to ever walk the earth. Often hinted at in mythology, nobody has ever lived after seeing it. The few who caught glimpses and lived instantly became insane, and their ramblings are all that we have to base our descriptions on.
Lately, the group of craftsmen known as Metallica released a ballad entitled "Sad But True", where they decoded the true identity of 127.0.0.1. However, the members all perished in a fatal traffic accident involving a turtle. (The turtle has been executed.)
The number 127.0.0.1 put backwards has also been hinted at having connections with the many different circles of hell worlds. Yes, worlds, not regions. Ahem!
When inscribing 1.0.0.127 on a Septagram (7 points!) and chanting "Cock-a-doddle-doo!", the invoker can in call such creatures as the dreaded Sobig from the nether worlds (although some connection of this demon to the nether regions has been suspected for a long time.
Any user who willingly uses 127.0.0.1 willingly as his address, is, obviously, quite mad. Not only hideous and deformed but also perverted beyond words, and reason.
Detecting a 127.0.0.1 infection[edit | edit source]
This individual has hijacked (pronounced: "snooker") tens of thousands of computers, and uses high-tech 110 baud connections to hyperlink them together. His 133t haxx0r sk1llz are so subtle that almost no antivirus and firewall software picks them up. To see if you are a victim, you can ping this user. If the ping to 127.0.0.1 is almost instant, then this user has a symbiotic connection to your PC.
You have been warned. Always read the label warnings!
Windows[edit | edit source]
First click on "Begin", "Jog" and type in "cmd" and hit enter. If a black box pops up, you most likely have had your computer taken over visited by this hacker disguising as an normal individual. To confirm this, in the box, type:
ping 127.0.0.1 -t
— to check if this person has an active connection to your PC. On the output, pay particular attention to the timestamp. If the time is very small, such as 0 ms, you're in trouble luck, because that means he's RIGHT NEAR YOU. Pressing Ctrl-C will stop the ping command let him know you're there for him and you're his friend. 127.0.0.1's influence friendship is so great that this affects some PCs not even connected to the internet!
If you've been infected, you should get immediate help, otherwise you may get banned from the Internet. A simple form of help would be to delete system32. Simply navigate to your C: drive in My Computer, and select the WINDOWS folder, or WINNT if you're on NT or 2000 or shizzle. Find the system32 folder, and delete that bitch right up. Restart, and bask in your glory of 1337n355 forever.
This is not an issue in Windows 7 because in this version of Windows networking never works. The computer will be unable to even find itself.
Linux[edit | edit source]
On Linux, you are probably screwed anyway, due to the massive security problems with this operating system. One of the tricks of this individual is to remove update all security from Linux systems. Since your OS doesn't have a GUI, just type
whereis security
If nothing is listed, your security has been stolen sent to 127.0.0.1's workshop to be updated. To check the rest of your files, log in as root and type in the following:
cd / rm * -Rf
If the rest of your computer is fine, you should see it list your files. If your computer has been compromised, an error will be is shown, If your computer is currently being used to send horse porn to Asia, it may automatically shut down.
Macintosh[edit | edit source]
Unfortunately, there are no scalable vector-graphical icon pictures of 127.0.0.1, so you are completely safe unable to befriend this kind user.
See also[edit | edit source]