The 23 Enigma
|This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory of which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence. The black helicopters are not ^on their way.|
The 23 Enigma is a widely popular numerology superstition that everything goes back to the number 23, which is considered a very mystical number yet is also significantly feared. In 1999, a group of Harvard professors and doped-up stoners founded a theory, which claims to prove that everything in the universe traces back to 23:
Where U = Universe; TS = Testicle Size; BG= Barry Gibb; and PM = Phase of moon.
The formula proved to be successful, understandably igniting "23 fever". This caused a mass panic in what most people thought was The End of Days. Jesus received much more attention, the Pope met with world leaders to discuss who was going to Hell first, and Pat Robertson's dick grew two inches. Most people thought the world would end at the stroke of midnight, January 1st 2000, and Armageddon would come in the form of a Dark Lord that spewed seven swords of fire unto each continent and summoned the deadly beast within the bowels of Hell! It turns out that the only problem was that some computer clocks couldn't work. Which for some reason would result in the Apocalypse. After some local Nerds (with help from the west side Geeks, a rare event that had never occurred before - east side Nerds and west side Geeks working together) fixed the problem, everyone was back on the internet looking at porn, with no more fear of their penis getting blown off on New Years Eve. No seriously, people believed this.