Forum:So I come back to Uncyc and EVERYTHING IS RUINED

Forums: Index > Village Dump > So I come back to Uncyc and EVERYTHING IS RUINED

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First of all, hey everyone, I'm back!

Secondly, bear in mind that I really did want to avoid drama this time but it seeks me out like that sniffer dog in the airport that nearly got me strip searched (true story).

My problem is with UnNews, or more specifically with that guy who seems to think he's in charge now. More specifically still, the problem is, I wrote a new article and, like I've always done in the past, I added it to RecentUnNews, only to be told that I had to "run it by a third party first". Now my initial (wrong) reaction to this obviously stupid and pointless exercise in bureaucracy was to tell this "jumped up n00b" (as I thought at the time, hence why it's in reported speech) to fuck off, which was obviously inappropriate.

The problem is this: for the first time ever, there is a guy with the audacity to try and impose his subjective opinions of what is or is not good on the entire of UnNews. This isn't a problem when someone puts something unambiguously terrible on the main page, but it is a problem when an article that is not terrible, and might even arguably be good is removed arbitrarily (and also without explanation).

Anyway, I realise I have now stumbled into the middle of an ongoing drama about whether or not UnNews needs a czar. Personally my view is that if someone wants to do loads of janitorial/editorial work, cool, but their role should be to facilitate rather than rule. By all means, clean up articles, fix typos, add categories, remove obvious crap from templates, add obviously good stuff to templates etc., but don't make deliberately confrontational or disruptive edits, create conflicts where there aren't any, piss off users who are trying to contribute (particularly if what they write is obviously fairly good and/or if they have a long history of writing good stuff), or try to claim exclusive dominion over a portion of the site.

Also, five people is not a consensus. Just sayin' -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 20:47, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

We've always had someone in charge of UnNews, TheHumbucker is a much fairer editor-in-chief than SPIKE, and the Main Page needs to have some semblance of quality control to it. Hit me. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 20:50 Jul 21, 2011

Spike had his heart in the right place. That's the difference. mAttlobster. (hello) 20:56, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Is that just a "gut feeling" or do you have actual evidence to support that? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 20:57 Jul 21, 2011

A gut feeling. mAttlobster. (hello) 20:57, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, having your heart in your chest cavity is great. Your brain in your arse? not so much. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 20:58, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

We've always had someone (or a couple of people) who decided to take on the donkey work of running UnNews, which often included de facto editorial work. We never had a formalised and recognised "czar" with actual authority over people. While SPIKE may have been a cantankerous dick sometimes, I only ever once had a proper row with him, and that was over a complete reskin of UnNews, rather than adding a line to a template. Of course the main page needs quality control (hence the "by all means... remove obvious crap from templates"), but RecentUnNews is not the same as FeaturedUnNews, and doesn't in any way imply a recognition of merit (which is why we don't have a community-wide voting process for it). -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 20:59, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

RecentUnNews is on the same level, vertically speaking, as Today's Featured Article. It implies, then, that it is on the same level, figuratively speaking, as our featured content. Having a vote on every article would be impractical. Instead, we have an editor in chief. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:03 Jul 21, 2011

You sound like me in 2007. mAttlobster. (hello) 21:08, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

That topic has been archived for 1337 days, isn't that adorable? -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 21:21, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

I think it was the only time I've ever started a forum. My fingers (and to some extent penis) were burnt bad. mAttlobster. (hello) 21:23, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Of course because if two things are at the same height level that means they're the same. That's why I'm able to type this on the cup of tea sitting on my desk rather than my laptop. -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 21:10, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

They aren't the same thing, they are similar. They are the first two things on the Main page. First impressions are often important. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:12 Jul 21, 2011

On my bookshelf there's a Quantum Mechanics textbook and a biography of Oswald Mosley. Does that mean Oswald Mosley is similar to Quantum Mechanics. If so, can I write my thesis on that? -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 21:15, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Analogies never work. mAttlobster. (hello) 21:17, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

No, because your bookshelf is not analogous to a webpage. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:18 Jul 21, 2011

Would it be analogous if I put my laptop on the bookshelf? -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 21:22, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Yes... wait. No. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:23 Jul 21, 2011

Oh cool you actually did make the forum topic -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:29, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Call the Waaaaaaaaaaaambulance

Ok, so while you fags carry on with your Reductio Ad Absurdium...

As things stood previously, the Recent UnNews heading was *not* considered a sacred cow and something under the sole control of a "Czar" or otherwise and the general deal was that whilst your article might end up getting shifted down, nobody would actually nuke it unless the article itself was huffworthy. This is what the status quo was and thus what Ape is/was accustomed to. Now with that aside, there was a topic previously on the forum which achieved a few votes for Humbucker and as usual; controversy, regardless of which, he *does* do a good job of maintaining UnNews and I see no reason for that to change, this should be kept strictly to determining what sort of freedoms that were previously taken for granted should be kept or formally disposed of; I would say that regardless of his appointment to "Czar", there was no explicit or implicit expectation that would also result in sweeping change to previously accepted UnNews norms - as it stands, UnNews has not gone in any "direction" and talk of leadership etc in past discussions is largely irrelevant; UnNews is and has been in a state of simple upkeep and maintenance, and there's nothing wrong with that. Equally, it's clear whether or not Humbucker should be allowed to unilaterally "curate" UnNews is an issue of contention and I personally think that the issue is going to matter most to people who actually prefer to contribute to UnNews as opposed to people who hang around on the main site and it is thus the input of UnNews contributors that should be given the most consideration.

Now Bitches, figure out what the fuck you wanna do. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 21:34, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

I wanna dance – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:37 Jul 21, 2011

I waaaaaanna waaaaaalk aroooouuuund with youuuuuuu -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:39, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

She's a MANIAC, MANIAC on the floor! she will kill your cat and nail it to the door... wait, what? -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 21:43, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

In many ways, this is the opposite of drama. -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 21:48, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

It's drama v2.0, sort of a curious combination of drama and not giving a rat's arse. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:50 Jul 21, 2011

It is the way of the future -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:50, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

The way of the future. The way of the future. The way of the future. The way of the future. The way of the future. --EMC ^[TALK] 16:55 Jul 22 2011

My view in simple terms

If you want to put your own article in the front page, don't. Just suck your own dick instead and call it a day.

On the other hand, if you want to put in the effort to read, maintain, and add on other peoples' articles, hey cool go ahead! No one has to be "czar" or anything. The only issue being contested is the single rule about self-featuring. Yeah, it wasn't a problem in the past because in the past things were informal and I guess that sucked or something? Because in a post-SPIKE society everything's gotta be squeaky clean and nice, so I suppose we have to live with that.

But yeah, it's the only problem. It's the only "rule" that Humbucker has been contesting because it's the only "rule" that people have been breaking. Which side is right? See above, to the thing about sucking one's own dick. There's no real system of formal vote or review for UnNews for obvious reasons. So just put your dick in your pants and stop trying to suck your own dick.

Try sucking someone else's dick instead! There are plenty of quality dicks being whipped out each day that are viable for RecentDicks. So far, though, TheHumbucker is the only one who's been taking the time to suck those dicks. But as far as I know, there's no official rule saying that he's the only dick-sucker in town, and he himself has stood by that stance in the past. "Czar" is a title that means bullshit other than "likes to suck dicks and damn proud to do so." -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:48, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

What if I want to suck my own dick? -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 22:13, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

But you can't reach your own dick, man -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 22:19, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

But trannies can suck their own dicks.... |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill | 11:37, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

No, a new unscreened article shouldn't go on the front page. But lately we seem to be deleting more and more new articles left and right, and not just spam (which Fnoodle has done an admirable job of deleting). This includes new Unnews articles that weren't even put on the front page. Won't this viewpoint result in fewer new articles? Or are you of the viewpoint of "if you can't write a good article, don't write any at all"? Uncyclopedia didn't get to where it is by discouraging new writers (and even established users) from writing. Even if an article isn't front-page worthy doesn't necessarily mean it should get deleted. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:02, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

Spike's approach was to mercy move an article to the writer's page which seems a bit more of an encouragement than downright removal. I think some of the more wizened (not wizard) veterans of this site are aware of this but we were all noobs once....--RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:51, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

This hasn't been about userspacing/deleting UnNews stories; it's been about a user whoring his/her own stuff on the Recent UnNews Template, putting it on Uncyc's Main Page without running it by a third party to see if it's okay. ~  Talk 15:03, 22 July 2011 (UTC)

Cuz like, rather than taking the authoritarian approach, why not just say people are free to add it there, but it can and will be removed if it's a load of abject shit. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 02:29, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

It's about you making disruptive edits for no fucking reason. -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 15:43, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

(Swearing is for emphasis btw. Please don't ban me.)-- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 15:44, July 22, 2011 (UTC)

So, what about "If you want to put your UnNews own article on the front page in the RecentUnNews template then you're welcome to do that providing the article in question isn't (Q)VFDish"...like how it was and apparently isn't now -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 02:27, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

It worked fine in the past, and it's how the other recent articles template on the front page works. -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 02:31, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

Uh, yeah, that's what I meant, fixed that now. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 02:34, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

The best writer in the world is always yourself. You can't put your own article on the front page. This is a wiki, but there needs to be a sense of objectivity. This is just an equivalent rule to the whole "no self-noms without pee" thing, which is totally an accepted rule. I mean, I know your guys' dicks are huge, but I think they're so big they're impairing your site a bit. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 02:50, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

Sure you can, if you're someone who knows how, and if it happens to be wank, it'll get removed and deleted and if you're butthurt, tough shit. This is a wiki and thus the cost of actually reverting shit added to RecentUnNews is a value tending towards Zero.-- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 07:06, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Which is why you'd be remiss to continue to revert a revert when your article is removed and someone tells you that your newspiece happens to be wank, lest you look like a butthurt not-so-tough shit. The fact remains that this apparently is a Wiki (HOLY SHIT REALLY HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT CUE THE CONDE-FUCKING-SCENDING CHORUS OVER HERE BOYS BREAK OUT THE ASSHOLE CHAMPAGNE AND THE FUCK YOUR MOTHER CREAM PIES) but the fact also remains that we can't all walk around prancing our enormous dicks in everyone's faces when everyone else is telling you that your dick isn't actually that big. Is any other this getting through to you? Or is your forty-acre cock stuffed inside your ears. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 08:28, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Also I have another point to make, except it doesn't have to do with dicks so it's not as cool. I just think that we should try to keep our front-page standards at least slightly above "not-QVFDable" level. The fact that you disagree just goes to prove that you ought to be deopped and castrated. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 08:37, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Well sure we should maintain a modicum of quality, did you find his article *that* shit? -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 12:28, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Like hauntedundies said, creepy/pedophilic priests isn't all too original, funny, or timely. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 20:00, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

It's topical in Ireland again. -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 20:28, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

That doesn't mean people in other parts of the world should care, though. Well, arguably they should, but they don't. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:06, 25 July 2011

The article wasn’t that bad so I apologize. My rant was more in anger over the “jumped up n00b” comment. To put it plainly, UnNews would quickly turn into a massive shitfight if everyone fought about having their own articles, (crappy or not) on the front page or the UnNews “semi-feature” template thing. Therefore, the site needs a trusted user to take care of proceedings so it doesn’t get out of hand. Whether you have the same sense of humour as the humbucker is irrelevant, he’s the one with the editorial skills and was apparently elected (before my time). If everyone feels he is doing a shitty job or neglecting his duties we’d all arc up about it and someone else would take his role. Until then, if he doesn’t stick your article on the front page and proceed to kiss your pinkie ring, ask him why as he probably has a very good reason. HauntedUndies. 07:42, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Incidentally, I'm still waiting for Humbucker to tell me what he found amiss with my article. But whatevs. -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 13:20, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

Incidentally, you never asked why I didn't think your article should go in the template. You just came out Rambo-ing the fact that I took it out of there. I think HauntedUndies pretty much nails my feelings about the story down below, though. ~  Talk 16:49, 26 July 2011 (UTC)

"So I come back to Uncyc..."

Well, there's your problem right there. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:08, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

•  For. --ChiefjusticePS3 08:29, July 23, 2011 (UTC)
• Death to you! ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 13:20, July 23, 2011 (UTC)
• Your article was three paragraphs of “catholic priests are pedophiles, yeah that’s right ill go there because no one else will, being the comic genius that I am” jokes which are slightly amusing at best. Secondly, your article was actually three sentences long (hardly a news piece). Turdly (that’s right, a poo joke! POOOO!) your article is still on the latest news list so shut up and eat a New Zealander. Just because the humbucker didn’t take his pantaloons off and stick his sexy hairy beanbag in your mouth due to your reporting excellence doesn’t mean Uncyclopaedia has gone to shit. Although the general impression is that Mr Humbucker is the emperor of China and therefore the future ‘Happy People’s King of the World’, in realility, all he does is correct retarded spelling and grammar mistakes, and ensure each ‘acceptable’ UnNews sharticle has about 3-5 days in the ‘news feature’ position, a rather thankless and shit boring job. Here’s a tip, if for some reason your UnNews sharticle doesn’t make it into said ‘feature extravaganza,’ chances are it’s crap. <INSERT ADDITIONAL USERNAME POO REFERENCE HERE> HauntedUndies. 14:23, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

  I've been banned before for being that much of a dick when analysing someone's article. Justsayin.jpg -- sanguine Ape (remix) (Riot Porn) 15:03, July 23, 2011 (UTC)

  As it happens, shitty puns don't make your point any more credible. Justsayin.jpg - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 15:23, Saturday 23 July 2011 -

  Indeed...I am sure everyone is compelled to agree with your view now that you put it that way. Just one more dick sucking jab and we can all put this behind us and call it a day. --ShabiDOO 02:09, July 26, 2011 (UTC)

The view that wasn't in this forum yet

Let's do what Wikipedia does, being a parody and all. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 15:18, 23 July 2011

Well, wikipedia have the template locked down to sysops. OH NOES MOAR ADMIN-ONLY MAINTENANCE -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 12:26, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

I never claimed I supported said view, though. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:57, 24 July 2011

Exactly, if I were to recommend that we restrain you and proceed to immerse your balls in a deep-fryer running at full temperature, that wouldn't necessarily mean I supported the view of doing it, just that I thought it was a good idea... wait, WUT? -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:00, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

I was just adding the view that wasn't in this forum yet to this forum. And you don't have to tell me about your weird fetishes, Olipro. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:02, 24 July 2011

Really? He hasn't even mentioned the weird ones yet. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:11, July 25, 2011 (UTC)