Forum:Losing ideas fast

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It appears to me that Uncyclopedia UnNews writers are quickly losing ideas for articles. If you look at todays articles as of this post, there are 5. 2 about The large Hadron Collider, 2 about Sarah Palin, and 1 is about both Sarah Palin, and the Large Hadron Collider.

I mean, I understand that they are important news topics, but there are many more topics that can be satirized for UnNews Articles. When you look at it, most of them aren't very funny at all, and everyone seems to be jumping onto the Palin/Collider news this week. ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:03, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

In other words, a few people need to get off their asses and write something other than Palin or the Large Hadron Collider? They also probably should quit wasting time putting themselves on Ban Patrol, am I right? The latter is about some guy named Dex... --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:47, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Well UnNews parodies the news... it's hard to think of stuff when all the news there is is either about the LHC or Sarah Palin. We could always try stealing from The Onion. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 21:09, 19 Sep 2008

Indeed. Blame the media: It works like a charm. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:10 Sep 19, 2008

Until they say it's not their fault. Everyone believes them, then we're all screwed. - Velosi-T {] Screech * Vomit * Mutilations [} 21:19, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Hey did you guys hear that Pluto is no longer a planet? We had a story or two (thousand) about that when the news first leaked. This is nothing. Well, the Palin stuff is nothing. The LHC is getting close.--<<>> 21:37, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

"Important news topics"?! Then what the hell are they doing here?! I thought we specialized in jokes about poopy. That's right; poopy. Get writing. In all my time here, I've only managed to put in a single mention of poopy on a non-forum page. The joke is that powerful. Use it wisely. Poopy. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:59, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

List of potential ideas

• Something about the bailout of Wall Street.
• John McCain on Viagra: "Problem won't go away"
• Bill Mahr hacks terrorist site; finds WMD's and Jimmy Hoffa
• Mickey Mouse set to be executed on Monday by an Arizona clerk

There are some ideas, you bums! /me goes back to rewriting. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:43, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Exactly! Wall street is blowing itself up and absolutely nothing about it in the UnNews! i would get on that, but i am busy at work for UN:CW ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 21:51, 19 September 2008 (UTC)

Did a quickie on Wall Street: UnNews:Global Economy Wipes and Flushes. ----OEJ 15:18, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

Here is one about mickey mouse, UnNews:Hostages taken, Mickey Mouse refuses to negotiate ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 01:08, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Here's one with no link to the page and no page to be linked to. I'm a riddle. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:28, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Aye other ideas:

• Pirates and Ninjas fight again over who Chuck Norris likes best in his new book "Black Belt Patriotism"
• American liberals use Hollywood, TV, and music to turn US citizens into socialist zombies who will vote Democrat in November 2008. Pirates and Ninjas team up to stop them and undo the brainwashing and convert socialist zombies into Libertarians who support Ron Paul.
• The Republican Neocons team up with Loki to turn US citizens into conservative werewolves that support McCain and Palin via their campaign ads that smear Obama and Biden and brainwash the public via Fox News propaganda written by Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh so the pirates and ninjas team up again and save the population but now they are independents and are not sure who to vote for as they have become apathetic as a result of the double brainwashing by liberals and conservatives.
• Jesus comes back, after a long 2000 year coffee break and had left Loki in charge. Claims he did so for the lulz, and we are not ready for him to return yet. That he will only return when we mess things up so badly that we really really need him to fix things and that he thought the AntiChrist was already here, but got him confused for the Anti-Muhammed, and said, maybe he'd be back in a century or two.
• Tom Cruise runs as President for the Scientology party. Picks Tina Fey as his Vice President because she resembles Sarah Palin but without thetans that caused her to be a Neocon. Everyone laughs at him, and he says "You don't know the history of politics, but I do." and runs anyway.
• Joe Biden gets history wrong, Dr. Who explains why.

I can come up with more later. I'm tired now. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:41, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

• My dishes are dirty. (10 extra points (and a cool new template) if you can do it without sexism.)
• 60 minutes moves into High-Def;Stocks in blindfolds, suicide machines soar.
• UnNews:I think I like you. Like, more than just friends. (Actually, that one may be fucking awesome.)
• UnNews:My country is better than your whole fucking continent! (As to do with the Ryder Cup, and I may pull off this BS now.) The Woodburninator (woodtalk) (woodstalk) 06:22, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

• No News is Good News. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

• The Grim Reaper is the new starting bell ringer for Wall Street, his first day on the job, the market crashes and more banks fail and the Fed has to bail out more companies.
• Barrack Obama says he isn't against all wars, just dumb wars. John McCain says he isn't against all peace just dumb peace. Tomato, Tomateo, potato, potateo, let's call the whole thing off. Both agree to disagree over the Iraq war.
• Communists rejoice as the George W. Bush administration has fouled up the US economy so badly, that Karl Marx's theory of capitalism defeating itself has finally started to come true with record inflation, high oil and gas prices, people losing their homes and jobs, banks failing and being bailed out, the US dollar being worth 0.35 Euros (35 European cents), and the US government owing 56 trillion US dollars to China another Communist country that benefits from the downfall of the USA.
• George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and other past presidents wake up from the dead due to insomnia caused by spinning in their graves. Ask to have their graves moved to a "free country" so they can finally get some rest and go back to eternal sleep.
• The USA celebrates Constitution day by shredding all existing copies through a shredder and then recycling them into more US dollars to bail out more banks and mega corporations to prevent the US economy from failing.

--Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:04, 22 September 2008 (UTC)

• I burnt my toast. -- Kaizer the Bjorn takkun (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 16:51, 23 September 2008 (UTC)
• Polar bears resort to cannibalism, UN condones the act as animal cruelty. - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 17:12, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

Looks like a viable short piece to me -- Style  Guide 18:51, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

• The War in Iraq goes downhill.
• Something on Bristol Palin being MILF
• Local Klan chapter votes Obama because he's not a Catholic.
• George Lucas has officially sold out.

There are others, but those are hidden in a cache/word document that I use as a backup for ideas. Chocolate Rain 16:07, 24 September 2008 (UTC)

UnNews:Riots break in Atlanta after Klan announces controversial candidate's support ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:15, 24 September 2008 (UTC)

• Shear mass of crap written about the Large Hadron Collider creates black hole, destroys universe perhaps? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 06:13, 25 September 2008 (UTC)
  • DJi gets banned for bringing up the LHC? Yeah. That's an awesome idea. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:42, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

See also:

Uncyclopedia:The Creative Process. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 02:06, Sep 25

“ Pick your targets. Some people are just asking to be taken down a notch. The rich, the powerful and the famous. People who are liars, hypocrites, arrogant or jerks are also perfect targets for satire. Generally speaking, people who are helpless aren't. Making fun of cancer patients is hard. Let me tell you, I've tried and the cancer ward was not amused. Nice people are also poor targets; Mother Teresa doesn't lend herself to parody. ”

That doesn't mean kick a subject into the ground so that whenever someone posts something about it, then it isn't immediately tagged as shitty. ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 19:12, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

I know! Someone should write an UnNews about that Sarah Palin person I've been hearing so much about. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:44, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

How about the title "Holy Shit! McCain Quit!"--<<>> 02:03, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

Who? Is he that guy who makes fries? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 10:58, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

No he isn't but his wife Cindy makes beer but apparently that beer putsch didn't work out too well. I think you got him confused for John McClain after his career as an annoying security guard who thinks he is a cowboy got him fired and he ended up working at McDonalds. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:56, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Just go to CNN

Just looking at CNN today, here's what you can write about:

• Bailout talks to resume; Bush vows to get his burger
• Bono pumps fist about end of excessive roof shingling
• Chris Rock: Vote for the guy with 67 houses: Me
• Pirates seize ship carrying wood, rocks
• Oral sex slang taught to schoolkids (This is unmodified, this is a serious CNN article)
• Woman goes raw, eats half of herself
• Group seeks aural technicians for space travel
• SciTechBlog: The end of music cassettes?
• McCain wants a cookie (This too is unmodified)

If you ever want ideas for UnNews, just go to CNN. - Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 18:49, 26 September 2008 (UTC)

My idea, apparently

Is to write UnNews about songs and memes that are decades old. BREAKING NEWS! pillow talk 22:00, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

You're too topical for me. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:34, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

TOO SOON! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 22:46, Sep 30

Or maybe write UnNewses about songs and memes that won't be out for decades? Future Reporting. ^{Pirate Lord}__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 19:55, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

You mean like take some 13-in-a-dozen hits and blow their importance out of proportion? -- Style  Guide 18:56, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Ideas

When I look at Wikipedia and Wikinews, I always get this counter-inspiration.

• U.S. Senate approves totalitarianism after controversial additions
• Mother, daughter kill father over a lottery ticket
• Atmosphere upset over lack of sunspots
• Nepal seized by 6 year old 'living godess'
• Canadian Animal Alliance plans to take over the world
• Millions killed by uncyclopede in India

I've also had some ideas concerning a continuation of Ruffles the Tiger, something involving his resurrection (maybe by Japanese scientists?), the following animal revolt, and his consequently taking control of the LHC in a plan to wipe out humanity once and for all. I've even got some potential sources:

• Return of the Tiger. Trends in Japan.
• Animal Anarchy: When Animals Attack. YouTube.

Though that'd have to wait until the LHC comes back online and something notable happens concerning tigers or something with "tiger" in its name (the cloning of Tasmanian Tigers for instance).

-Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:51, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

And sometimes reality itself is shocking enough: Man uses home-made flamethrower to set relatives on fire

-Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 18:53, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

*Pbbt!*. Poser. Einstein beat that. He set relativity on fire. Go Einstein! Woo! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:05, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

I thought he made the absolute atomicly explode with relativity. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 19:30, 5 October 2008 (UTC)

My mind's been corrupted by that A splode -article: I cannot take exploding seriously any more. He must have a sploded it. -- Style  Guide 18:55, 11 October 2008 (UTC)

Oh yes, sorry for that spelling error, I must still be suffering from the side-effects from that Latin class a few years ago. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:34, 11 October 2008 (UTC)