User talk:Riker

Beware! The evil eye is upon thee!

Hello, Riker, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101116 - 02:02 (UTC)

You Fail

So... You insult the rest of Uncyclopedia(after coming here, making an account, and trolling, mind you), and think that we won't mock you? You obviously haven't seen what we do to other trolls like you. Prepare to be mocked by the community. If you have the balls to reply, post something on my talk page. And don't give me any of that "Say that to my face!" crap, because you know that none of us can do that. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 19:40, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

Wow, you really are a wuss if you can't take criticism. If you want to leave, then GTFO already. I'm not stopping until you give me a reply and/or actually leave. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 03:01, December 23, 2010 (UTC)

Fine then...

You want to leave so badly? You're on Ban Patrol, and when the admins ban you, you'll be gone for good. Good riddance, you pathetic bastard. --Revolutionary, Anti-Bensonist, and TYATU Boss Uncyclopedian Meganew (Chat) (Care for a peek at my work?) (SUCK IT, FROGGY!) 18:06, December 24, 2010 (UTC)

Amen, bro! Amen.--If you're 555 then I'm Talk What's it like to be a heretic? 03:42, December 25, 2010 (UTC)

talk/forum/other discussion pages

Please never revert anything on a discussion page unless its clear vandalism. --Mn-z 23:07, December 25, 2010 (UTC)