User talk:Ratfactor

Welcome!

Hello, Ratfactor, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:

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Thanks, sycamore. I figured I'd dive right in and create that cartilage article. Now that I've done that, would it be alright to add links to it on other articles mentioning cartilage? Or is that premature? Perhaps more importantly, does there appear to be any hope for me? Am I a good candidate for the Adopt-a-Noob program? If so, would you adopt me? Am I wishing question marks weren't costing me 5 cents each due to an unfortunate drunken transaction with a certain deity? Yes, yes I am. Ratfactor (talk) 08:38, July 13, 2012 (UTC)

Submit Cartilage for review / add images / fix it up according to the review then add links in other articles. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 09:16, July 13, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, I've added images at your suggestion and will now submit for review and what-not Ratfactor (talk) 20:29, July 13, 2012 (UTC)

What he said...

...but with less words. Hey! Good start to writing here. If you need any help feel free to nag any of the regulars around here. --Nominally Humane! 09:36 13 Jul 09:36, July 13, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks Pups!Ratfactor (talk) 20:29, July 13, 2012 (UTC)

Images for Cartilage

Doggone it, I saw Frosty had added an {{AAP}}, and so I went and made a couple of images, but now I see you've got your own. Would you still want either of 'em?

• This gentleman is all cartilage
• Due to the ravages of illegal cartilage harvesting, this specimen's once-magnificent ears and nose are half as large as they once were.

Yeah, not much to choose from, I guess. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jul 14 '12 3:01 (UTC)

Sweet! Yeah, I think I'll add a Medical section in which those glorious cartilage-filled protuberances will fit nicely. Ratfactor (talk) 04:29, July 14, 2012 (UTC)

In that case, I'll upload 'em here. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jul 14 '12 4:30 (UTC)

Awesome, thanks. Ratfactor (talk) 04:32, July 14, 2012 (UTC)

Done. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jul 14 '12 9:10 (UTC)

And done! Ratfactor (talk) 20:20, July 14, 2012 (UTC)

You should come on IRC some time, so we can poke you, ping you, prod you, sniff you, lick you, take off the top layer of your epidermis, thump your bones with a tuning fork, shine big lights in your eyes and bellybutton, and then turn you around fifteen times blindfolded before letting you stagger around all over the place like a sheep drunk on wormwood liquor. It's a thing we do to newbies, and they always come back and ask for more, so we know they either like it, or are getting brain damage from the procedure. Not 100% sure which, but there you are. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jul 14 '12 23:57 (UTC)

Do you mind if I do something nasty to your article?

I just wanted to pop it up here, where everyone can vote on whether or not to mock it mercilessly by placing it in a very special spot of shame, reserved especially for it, on the front page of Uncyclopedia. Sound good? ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Jul 17 '12 11:55 (UTC)

You swine! That would be so awesome, I might not to have to steal candy from children tonight! Ratfactor (talk) 16:39, July 17, 2012 (UTC)

Cartilage

Very nice work with cartelege. You are either a naturally born commedy writer...or you are the sock puppet of a former (or even current) writer. If I find out it is the latter, I am going to hunt you down and blow a load in your face which will make you go blind. If its the case of the earlier...then welcome to uncyclopedia new person. May your days be prosperious and plentiful. --ShabiDOO 16:26, July 20, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you very much! It is the former of the two choices (am a plain ol' noob, not a besocked regular). Though you may feel free to blow that load (I am wearing goggles for just such an event). I have also recently written Sunday, but wasn't sure if it was poor form to submit another Pee Review so soon after I submitted Cartilage. Ratfactor (talk) 18:08, July 20, 2012 (UTC)

Do you have a sister?

If so, can I have her email address? Is she funny? If so, can you bring her here and get her to write, as well? Fuck it, bring yer whole family, we'll fit 'em in somehow. What about friends? You got any friends that are as funny as you and can write as well? Bring the fuckers. No, I'm serious. Also, pardon me for fawning, I get like this when I meet people with brains. Can I touch your brain? No? That's ok, I wouldn't want anybody touching my brain, either. Can I touch your sister's brain? No? What about her boobs? No? Maybe? Is that a "hard" maybe or a "soft" maybe? C'mon, work with me here. I've got $15.40 in my left pocket, and a fistful of condoms in the other. We can work something out, I'm sure. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jul 27 '12 1:42 (UTC)

Biz, we can definitely make a deal here. I'll take your $15.40 (and even contribute $4.60 of my own as I'll need to purchase at least $20 worth of the black-market medical devices I need to get off -- and I'll be getting off if you're to be touching my sister's firm, perky breasts and lush, tender vagina). Then we'll meet at the state park of my choosing at a time of my choosing. My sister's crate will be on one of those brown National Forest Service tables under a tall coniferous tree. There will be a slight breeze and the sky will be a deep, beautiful blue. I'll hand you the key, tell you the safe word, and then retreat some distance away with my gear (possibly in an old canvas army surplus tent) to watch. Your coupling will probably be brief and possibly violent. But you'll come away stronger and more capable for next time. And there will be a next time, I assure you. Once you've had a taste, you'll not be able to go at my sister just once. No one can. You must not speak to me after it is done, that is always the rule. I will quietly pack up and leave. But we can talk about it later. You will never be the same.  - Ratfactor talk 04:57, July 27, 2012 (UTC)

0.o Does this sister of yours have a tail and a bark? Cuz...if so...deal-breaker. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Jul 27 '12 5:20 (UTC)

For another $15 she could not have a tail or bark.  - Ratfactor talk 05:29, July 27, 2012 (UTC)

TKF forgot you, but I didn't!

	Noob of the Moment July 2012

Well done. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:08, August 1, 2012 (UTC)

Woo hoo! I knew if I sucked that pacifier hard enough, somebody would take notice. I was afraid I was going to have to start sucking other things.  - Ratfactor talk 16:46, August 1, 2012 (UTC)

You quitting homo

Get back here, you piece of quitting scum. I have a hatchet, and it likes the taste of quitter blood. And brains. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Oct 13 '12 22:39 (UTC)

Ha ha, aw hell. Thanks, I needed that. Just completed a big pet software development project and am ready for more of this foolishness pronto. So sharpen that hatchet and keep it handy. But I plan to return in style.  - Ratfactor talk 05:29, October 17, 2012 (UTC)