User talk:Lemonpiechunk

Fishballs

Fishballs are round, circular rubbery substances that smell like raw eggs. Fishballs are considered a delicacy by Chinese and they are commonly hunted for their skin and bones, which the Chinese believed to have medicinal properties. It has been rumoured that if you eat fishballs for every meal for three consecutive years, you will gain immortality and grow two Laser Cannons on your shoulders.

Unlike what most people think, fishballs are NOT related to Fish, but are actually mammals. They are nocturnal |creatures and emit beeps and black light when provoked. Fishballs generally prefer to eat cows, but occasionally eat their own kind too.

How to cook Fishballs

Fishballs are relatively easy to cook, if you have arms to hold the fishball down while you cook it.

Steps: (Serves 4000 people)

1. Kill the fishball. the easiest way to do this is to wait for it to die of old age. the average fishball's lifespan is approximately 500 years.

2. Fill up a 1 litre tub with oil and heat it until 95% of it has evaporated.

3. Chop up 1000 onion, carrots, potatoes (potato chips work fine for this recipe too) and coat each piece in 200 tons of curry powder. Add salt, pepper, gunpowder, beer, cream, shit, cum and apple pie to taste. Mix very well.

4. Dump the mixture into the tub of oil, and add cow blood so that the spirit of the fishball will be appeased.

5. Prayer that the mixture does not EXPLODE!!! in ten seconds.

6. Once you start hearing screams of pain and agony, you know the stuff has been cooked. Serve hot.

How to Survive a Fishball Rush

You can't outrun fishballs. The only known defense against fishballs are Grue, which will probably kill you after they eat all the fishballs. Read the grue survival guide, noob!

However, it has been suggested that apple pie can cause the fishballs to release the good, causing their brains to overheat because they can't stand that level of awesome, and EXPLODE!!!.

If you have eaten fishballs for every meal for three consecutive years, your Laser Cannons would be able to keep you alive for up to five seconds.

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