User talk:Jlf278

Welcome!

"Some welcome Jaffa Cakes for you!"

Hello Jlf278 and Welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like it here and decide to stay.

Useful guides and reference for your contributions:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

I hope you enjoy the site and being an Uncyclopedian. Always remember to sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you want to start an article of your own it is usually best to start it within your namespace, for example, User:Skid 40145/Article about stuff. If you do this you can edit it at your leisure and move it over into the mainspace when it’s done. To start an article in the mainspace attach this template - {{construction}} to your work, so other Users will know you'll be back to finish it.

Should you need any help, do not hesitate to ask me on my talk page or ask at the Village Dump Forum. You can also add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced writers straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Once again welcome to the site.--Sycamore (Talk) 18:53, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

Tips

1. Seeing your contributions, you seem to make a lot of one edit pages. Try sticking with a page and finishing it, before moving on to the next idea. Stubby, picture-free pages won't survive. Why, just the other day I saw a stubby, picture-free page that had been run over, just laying there on the road. I had some good stew that night, lemme tell you!
2. Start a sandbox, like User:Jlf278/sandbox, as is recommended in the Welcome thingy above that only one in ten Uncyclopedians read.
3. Cut back on the sugary foods. Sure, the buzz is fun now, but stay on this path and, in a decade, you'll be stealing car stereos just to raise the cash for a taste of the sweet stuff. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:34, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

How about sticking with Elephantitis...what you've written there is quite good. - [18:26 29 July] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Dr. Colossus

I moved your article on Dr. Colossus to User:Jlf278/Dr. Colossus, since the ICU has expired. You can work on it there all you like and then send it to mainspace when it's ready for another try. If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my talk page. Cheers. -RAHB 03:19, 2 August 2008 (UTC)

Marble Madness

Gameplay

Marble Madness features a rolling marble and lots of block and obstacles. The general idea of the game was to get your marble from one place to another, which is just fuckin' stupid. Who designed this crap? If your marble falls off the board or touches an enemy, then you lose. Okaaaay. Anyway, most of the levels were too difficult for anyone to beat and often required several hours to get even halfway through, at which point your marble usually falls off the board for no reason. Regardless, the game contained 120 leves, though it is now assumed that levels 2-120 were simply palate swaps with faster and faster music and otherwise identical.

Game Features

The most notable feature of Marble Madness was the inclusion of a bag of various marbles. According to the instructions, by swallowing the appropriate marbles at the appropriate times, you were given a 15% chance to gain points or an extra life. If you creatively inserted the marbles into other orifices, supposedly you could receive as much as a 28% chance of an extra life. Due to the size and shape of some marbles, many game-adddicts were driven mad from constantly shoving marbles in their ears. The lucky ones choked to death early in the first stage. Astute players may have noticed extra lives and points could be gained just as likely without use of the marbles. Sadly, due to internet forums and FAQ's, this game design would no longer work. The mystical appeal would be quickly debunked by the online community.

Music

The game's creators didn't have enough money to pay a midi composer, so instead they ate flatulent food and farted into a microphone. While the game Marble Madness is rarely played and outlawed in most countries, the music continues to live on, with frequent inclusion in the repertoire of some of the finest symphonies in the world. Depending on local cuisine, the timbre of the upper register melody can vary significantly - although japanese eggplant is becoming the prevalent pre-concert meal for performers due to the melancholic quality to its subsequent gaseous expulsions.

Sequel

The planned sequel Chemistry Madness sadly never got off the ground. During in-house beta-testing, most of the design team died or inflicted severe brain damage upon themselves. Also the MSRP of $2300, would have made it difficult to find a willing publisher. Although, according to street prices at the time, the chemical compounds included in place of the original's marbles, indicate $2300 a fair market price.