User talk:Everyone that is not SysRq
 Member of the Order |
A very warm welcome to Uncyclopedia[edit source]
Ahoy, Everyone that is not SysRq! Welcome to Uncyclopedia! This message was placed semi-automatically: I didn't write this up specifically for you, but I did happen to notice your contributions and have decided that you are worthy of the rank of Member of Uncyclopedia, usually abbreviated to MUN. Or not, I mean even if you suck you can still be a MUN just by making an account. In other words, you are not special. Not yet.
Links galore![edit source]
But, if you would like to become special, you're in luck! I have some links for you that will help you "learn the ropes" so to say. Behold!
- The Noob Bible
- The Gripping Sequel to the Noob Bible: Noob Bible 2
- Everything you ever wanted to know about Uncyclopedia, but were afraid to ask
Oh no, you haven't even been here that long and you're already being assigned homework! Not to worry, if you want to skip these for now, that's okay but not recommended. You could probably get away with paying no attention to anything you see here. I never read anything on this site, actually. I just close my eyes and type. If you want to learn to navigate Uncyclopedia using echolocation like I do, however, you need to have the following text memorized:
- HTBFANJS (otherwise known as How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid)
HOLY SHIT this is an important one. You will see this simple, easy to remember acronym all over the site. This is the ABCs of humor writing. Take it from me: we have it down and we want to pass our knowledge on to you. Read that article. Read it again. Finished? Congratulations, you are now funny.
I've got some other cool things for you to read so that you don't come bitching and crying to me with stupid questions.
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends being gay, although we might care about your teachers.
Starting an article[edit source]
Alright, so I'm going to assume that you have at least read HTBFANJS by now. That's good. You're officially ready to start writing. A lot of new writers like to make their articles in the mainspace (that is, where most articles are that you have probably been reading are located) and sometimes they even put a {{construction}} tag on it. While the {{construction}} tag protects your new, unfinished article for a week, it's not necessarily the smartest way to go about things. Try this instead: start your articles at User:Everyone that is not SysRq/Article Name Here and take all the time you need. Admins won't delete anything in your namespace unless you ask them to. This is a much safer way to write your articles and helps avoid the frustration that many new users experience when they find that their articles have been deleted.
Signatures[edit source]
See my cute little signature there at the end? It's nice, huh? If you want to make one too, that's fine. It's simple: make a page called User:Everyone that is not SysRq/sig, fill it with goodies, and save. Go to Preferences up in the top right-hand corner and check Raw Signatures. Paste User:Everyone that is not SysRq/sig into the text field and hit save. Magic. Go test it out over at the sandbox to make sure it works. Need help? Contact me and I'll be more than happy to assist you.
A few more things[edit source]
This is a good place to go when you're not writing articles. It lists off all of the tedious, boring chores that just plain need to get done around here. This site wouldn't run without people doing their chores. We all gotta do it at some point. Won't you pitch in every once in a while?
There's a magical little place around here called Pee Review. I happen to belong to an elite organization dedicated to reviewing articles for other users. This is a great resource for you to use when writing your articles if you want a second opinion. Simply copy the name of your article into the text field at the bottom and presto! Your Pee Review request is added to the queue. A reviewer should be along to offer you insight within a few days. If you feel your review was poor quality, take it up with us and we'll take care of it. At the same time, you're welcome to help out! Just select an article you want to review and get to it. Just be sure to read the guidelines before doing so.
Finally, if you want to really become a part of the community here at Uncyclopedia, you'll need to know about the goings-on of this sick little site. Just sign up to have Uncyclopedia's own community newsletter, the UnSignpost, delivered right here to your talk page.
I know, I'm quite long winded. I hope that this welcome message has been helpful; if it has not been, and you still have questions, seek me out at my talk page. Also, you may want to consider applying to the Adopt-a-Noob program, where you can get an experienced editor such as myself to coach you through your first few articles. Again, welcome, and good luck!
sir
sysrq @ 21:25 Dec 23
Aye Carumba[edit source]
Having fun SysRq? :P - 
Admiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate 
21:26, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
- I think you have me mistaken for SysRq. I'm Everyone that is not SysRq. I know, it's a strange username, but it just kinda came to me and I like it. --Everyone that is not SysRq 20:13, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
SysRq is gay[edit source]
Ignore everything he says to you. Make fun of his underwear (the pair he got from grandpa for Christmas). You're gonna be an awesome user if you do that. G's up; hoes down. If that bitch can't swim, then she'z bound to driz-owned. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:29, 23 December 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, that stupid welcome message could be abridged to "Fuck SysRq" easily and you would end up a much better user than if you actually read all that shit. Welcome to Uncyc, asshole. sir
sysrq @ 00:34 Dec 24
- Wow, thanks guys! I guess my unusual username has already attracted much attention. I'm looking forward to writing quality articles, sodomizing SysRq's parents in front of him, and becoming a part of this great community. Thanks again for the welcome and the advice! --Everyone that is not SysRq 20:11, 24 December 2008 (UTC)
Here's Your Christmas Tree[edit source]
----Pleb- Sawblade5 [coolest link ever] ( yell | FAQ | I did this ) 09:28, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
Give me that tree[edit source]
Merry Christmas and Happy Festivus 2008 from Halsoft
Fuck Christmahaunika! Fuck Festihaunika!
Have a Good Whatever!
Santa is watching you shower, <insert name here>