User talk:Bizzeebeever/An open email to Wikia

This is going to be a real page? Wow! Cool page! And there's a kitten. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 09:12, 6 June, 2012 (UTC)

It's the actual email I just sent them. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 9:13 (UTC)

Wow... And did they respond? But why did you write it here... Hmm... Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 09:24, 6 June, 2012 (UTC)

I put it here so I could link to it in the main forum without spamming a huge bunch of words everywhere. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 9:26 (UTC)

Ah... Of course... Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 09:27, 6 June, 2012 (UTC)

But wait, you didn't put any link? What is this, you're fooling me? Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 09:28, 6 June, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I thought this was some sort-of joke or something. Like you didn't actually send this! But you weren't joking! Please forgive me! Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 09:34, 6 June, 2012 (UTC)

Fucking. Legendary. -RAHB 09:38, June 6, 2012 (UTC)

Spoken like a man who can appreciate a good kitten-raping. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 9:44 (UTC)

Please inform us when Wikia answers! Uncyclopedia may get banned from the internet if we'll have good luck on our side! Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 09:47, 6 June, 2012 (UTC)

Following the idea that Alice Cooper says the greatest compliment he ever received was Frank Zappa telling him that any band who can clear out a sold out auditorium of people in under five minutes is a band he had to sign to his label, if Uncyclopedia ever gets banned from the internet I'd say it will have accomplished its ultimate goal and we can all die happy, albeit alone and miserable. -RAHB 09:48, June 6, 2012 (UTC)

They seem to have at least a mild sense of irony over at Wikia, so this epistle may be a proverbial flat-side-of-the-palm to the malfunctioning jukebox that is their collective brain. Then again, it probably won't be. I'll holla back in 48 hours. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 9:50 (UTC)

To Nirvana! Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz 09:51, 6 June, 2012 (UTC)

Just one thing I don't get. Why wouldn't you want to enter a world of midget-torture and bloody, dismembered Pokémon? I'd say "Give me that blood and gore, baby!" So why wouldn't you? Haven't horror movies conditioned you yet to jack off to blood and gore? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 14:39, 6 June 2012

I saw David Cronenberg's remake of The Fly, and the crucial disintegration scene came while I was eating a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs.

I've been pretty much blasé towards blood and gore ever since. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Jun 6 '12 14:57 (UTC)

Yeah, it's always a pain when you develop tolerance to a drug. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:02, 6 June 2012

Update

It has been well over 48 hours, and I have gotten no response from Wikia, other than a "How would you rate the support you have received?" automated email, which, I assume, is their idea of a joke. There are two possible reasons for this. First: our user base has flooded them with so many emails that they are having trouble responding. (This is so unlikely it makes me howl with laughter.) Second: Wikia's decision is so final that they feel no need to respond to my humorous diatribe.

I would get out my edition of Occam's Razor and flip through it at this point, but I'll leave it up to you folks.

If you like, Spike, feel free to pull out your I Told You So gun. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jun 9 '12 2:13 (UTC)

As we discussed. Spıke ¬ 17:07 13-Jun-12

So how did you rate the support then? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:49, 9 June 2012

I'm still working out how to send phlegm through the Internet. You'd think it'd be easy, seeing as it's just a series of tubes. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sat, Jun 9 '12 3:37 (UTC)

My Rant

I'm kinda thinking of sending the rant I put on my userpage to them...but how would I go about addressing a message that was originally meant for the Uncyclopedia user base believably to them? I tried to edit the language a bit in MS Notepad, but it still sounded like a member-gathering call to arms no matter what I did. I want to turn it into a hate-filled rant, but I can't seem to get off the depressive rant kick. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks :), BieberAxeKiller (talk) 16:28, June 13, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry I missed your question. I would say this: rants don't really seem to move them, so if I were you, and I were still waiting to send them a message, I wouldn't send them a rant. I would use simple language (since they are obviously stupid), be polite (because stupid people tend to anger easily), make it short (once again, stupid people have short attention spans), and, lastly, avoid seeming like you want to cause drama (obvious reasons). Good luck. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Jul 8 '12 11:07 (UTC)